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Traveler Refuses To Give Up Empty Row, Exhausted Mom Calls Her A ‘B**ch’ On Landing

by Layla Bui
December 8, 2025
in Social Issues

Airplanes seem to bring out a strange kind of chaos, especially when a single empty row becomes the most valuable real estate in the sky.

One exhausted business traveler thought she had finally cracked the code to surviving a brutal red-eye flight: she paid out of pocket to upgrade, grabbed a window seat in an empty exit row, and planned to snatch a few precious hours of sleep before an 8:30 a.m. client meeting. Simple. Peaceful. Foolproof.

But the calm shattered the moment she reached her row and found a mother already buckled in with two toddlers, ready to claim the entire space as if empty seats belonged to whoever sat down first.

What should have been a quick correction spiraled into tension, flight-attendant intervention, and a final landing-time insult that left the traveler wondering if she was actually the villain of the story. Keep reading to decide whether she protected her rights… or ruined a mother’s night in the process.

A mother on a red-eye insists on taking an empty exit row, leaving the traveler torn between empathy and the sleep they desperately needed

Traveler Refuses To Give Up Empty Row, Exhausted Mom Calls Her A ‘B**ch’ On Landing
not the actual photo

'AITA for not giving my empty row of plane seats to a mother with toddlers?'

This happened a couple weeks ago, but I'm still conflicted about it, so here goes.

I travel a lot for work, mostly one route between the east and west coasts.

Most recently, I was out on the west coast and had to push my flight back by a few hours,

and ended up switching to a red eye that would get me home at around 5:30am.

This wouldn't be a problem except that I had a client meeting at 8:30 that morning,

so while switching my ticket I paid out of pocket to upgrade to a window seat in an exit row,

because the whole row was empty and that way I had a decent shot of getting at least a little bit of sleep.

(Because I take this specific route and airline a lot, I knew a few things about this particular row

namely that you can't recline the seats more than an inch or two and the window is usually kind of weird,

which was fine by me since I just wanted to get on the plane and conk out.)

Of course, when it came time to board, I get to my row and find that

a woman is sitting in the middle with her two young daughters, maybe 2 and 4, on either side of her.

I politely told her that she'd made a mistake and was sitting in my seat.

Her response was that she was seated a row up and across the aisle, on the aisle seat,

but her two kids were across from her on the aisle and middle,

and she saw the empty row before I got there, and would I do her the favor of just switching?

Here's the thing: if circumstances were different, I would have!

But I explained that I had a meeting at 8:30 and paid extra for that ticket so that I could sleep.

I really thought that would be the end of it, but she huffed and shook her head

and buckled her kids' seatbelts RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

By this point the plane is filling up, I'm blocking the aisle, it's causing a whole thing,

so I just flag down a flight attendant and explain the situation.

The mom stops ignoring me long enough to pipe up and say she needs a row where the three of them can sit together.

The flight attendant (who looked exhausted and totally done

and clearly just wanted to get home as much as I did) goes,

"This is an exit row. Your kids can't sit there

because they're not capable of performing the exit row responsibilities in case of an emergency landing.

There's not going to be another empty row. Please sit in the seat indicated on your ticket."

So I sit down in my window seat and she takes her kids and moves up a row,

and I figure that's the last of it, but of course, no one else comes to sit down in my row (the gamble paid off),

and so when we finally take off and hit cruising altitude,

I push the arm rests up and stretch out across the row and just pass out.

When we land, I'm getting my bag out of the overhead, and the woman stands up and mutters to me,

"You look like you slept well, b__ch." So, Reddit. Am I the a__hole (or b__ch, as it were)?

EDITED TO ADD: Okay, thanks Reddit, I think most of you agree that I'm not the a__hole here.

But please do me a favor and don't refer to her kids as brats or assume they were ill-behaved.

The kids were just fine. They watched something on their iPad and went to sleep as soon as we took off.

Kids don't like flying more than anyone else, and it's not these girls' fault their mom acted like a jerk.

Air travel creates a strange emotional pressure cooker where personal needs, public etiquette, and exhaustion collide. OP wasn’t just trying to keep an empty row for comfort, she had a legitimate, time-sensitive reason: a red-eye flight followed by an early morning client meeting.

Research consistently shows that sleep deprivation impairs concentration, decision-making, and work performance, making OP’s choice both reasonable and necessary.

The mother, on the other hand, was navigating a different but equally intense stressor. Traveling with young children is one of the most challenging situations for parents.

And studies show that parents often feel scrutinized in public spaces and become hyper-aware of potential disruptions, which can lead to more urgent or entitled requests. This isn’t malicious; it’s stress-driven behavior under social pressure.

Still, the mother’s expectation that OP should surrender a paid seat upgrade reflects a common psychological pattern.

The “empathy gap” describes how people overestimate the importance of their own needs while underestimating someone else’s situation, especially under stress. This often leads to friction when one person assumes their request should naturally take priority.

OP, however, set a boundary clearly and calmly. Psychological guidance emphasizes that healthy boundaries protect well-being and help prevent resentment, especially when someone risks overextending themselves. Boundaries are not acts of hostility; they’re acts of self-respect.

When the situation escalated, the flight attendant’s response wasn’t arbitrary, exit row rules are federally mandated. Children legally cannot sit there because they cannot perform required emergency duties.

So OP wasn’t denying a mother convenience, she was upholding both her own needs and aviation safety regulations.

The insult at the end of the flight wasn’t about morality; it was displaced frustration. The mother didn’t get what she wanted, and OP became the easiest target. But emotionally, OP did everything right: she asserted her needs, respected safety rules, and avoided escalating tension.

So, empathy matters, but empathy is not the same as self-sacrifice. OP didn’t prevent her from sitting with her children, the FAA did. OP simply held onto the seat she paid for and the rest she desperately needed.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These commenters say OP paid for the seat and had every legal right to keep it

Kyutekyu − NTA You paid for the ticket, and that particular set of seats doesn't allow kids. End of.

voltaire155 − NTA 1, you paid for it, not her. 2, she wasnt allowed to sit there with kids, end of. She was an i__ot.

paintedpinecone − NTA. She could have also paid extra to make sure her kids were sitting with her, but she chose not to.

She doesn’t get to then try to bully her way into other people’s seats.

zaitheguy − Nta. You don’t owe someone a seat you paid for because they have kids.

They chose to have children, so they shouldn’t expect special treatment from strangers just for having them

karelrey − Definitely NTA, you paid for that seat and you were in your full right to sit there.

Doesn't even matter if you had to sleep or not.

On top of that they weren't even allowed to sit there anyway. It was uncalled for of her to call you a b__ch.

[Reddit User] − NTA legally everyone must sit in their assigned seat.

She was a n__ty person to say that. Dust it off and move on.

This group blames the mother’s poor planning and notes that toddlers can’t sit in exit rows

christina0001 − NTA but that woman sure was. I'm a mom and I have flown several times with my two toddlers.

First of all, a responsible parent doesn't book a flight without paying for confirmed seats to ensure you're sitting with your kiddos.

Either she hasn't done this before or really likes to gamble,

because I would never assume a flight would have three seats side by side without reserving them.

Second of all, absolutely not, toddlers can't be in the exit row.

I actually had a flight attendant move our seats on our most recent flight

because we were sitting behind the exit row and apparently that wasn't okay either.

Third, it was uncalled for for this woman to be so rude to you.

She needed three seats side by side and all she had to do was ask a flight attendant for help.

It's unnecessary and a__hole-ish to just take someone's seat.

I've been on both sides of this problem, and flight attendants are wonderful in kindly asking people

if they can move so everyone can get situated.

QueenMoogle − NTA. She wasn't an a__hole for asking you initially, but she became one when she refused.

You bought that ticket and that seat, it was yours.

If she needed a switch, she should have asked the crew and they would have worked something out for her.

And besides, they couldn't even sit there! It was an emergency row!

Traveling with kids must be exhausting, but it's not a free pass to be an a__hole to whomever you please.

theGlitchbox − NTA you paid extra for those seats, doesn't matter how entitled that crappy parent

is she should have ordered tickets earlier to ensure she could sit next to her kids.

Plus that "b__ch" comment was so uncalled for. I think you could prob post this is in r/entitledparents

AwkBallOfSelfDoubt − NTA. Flight attendant would have booted them later because of the emergency aisle situation.

What you did really didn't matter, but the mom had the sense to not mouth off to the flight attendant.

This commenter adds a humorous, petty jab at the entitled mother

goofberries − I hope you said, "Yes, I did." And smiled at the entitled woman and her brats.

These commenters highlight the mother’s entitlement and the rudeness of taking OP’s seat

Istalriblaka − > Woman doesn't book three seats together for her and two toddlers

> Woman uses toddlers as reason to board before almost all other passengers

> Woman sees empty row before most other people are on

> Woman assumes row is just empty with nobody sitting in it and switches without even asking a flight attendant

> Woman gets upset when row is not empty Clear case of NTA.

mandieh24 − A lack of preparation on her part should not mean an “emergency” on yours. You are not the a__hole.

In the end, this situation wasn’t about kindness; it was about boundaries, safety, and a seat the traveler had legitimately purchased.

While it’s understandable that the mother wanted an easier setup with her toddlers, taking someone else’s seat (especially a paid upgrade) isn’t the way to do it. The traveler stood her ground politely, followed aviation rules, and didn’t owe anyone an apology.

Was the mother overwhelmed? Probably. Was the traveler wrong? Reddit overwhelmingly says no.

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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