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When His 14-Year-Old Asked, “Why Don’t You Hug Me Anymore?” This Dad Froze

by Sunny Nguyen
October 9, 2025
in Social Issues

The TV was on, the house calm, and a dad sat watching when his 14-year-old son came in and sat beside him, close enough to feel the warmth.

Out of nowhere, the boy softly asked, “Can I get a hug?” The dad said sure, surprised, but curious why his son had to ask. That’s when his son’s words hit hard: “You never hug me anymore.”

That one line changed everything. The dad hugged him, feeling both love and guilt rush in at once. The next morning, the boy asked for another hug before heading out. It was simple, real, and full of meaning.

But now the dad can’t stop wondering, had he failed his son by letting that closeness fade? Was he a bad parent for needing to be reminded of something so basic?

When His 14-Year-Old Asked, “Why Don’t You Hug Me Anymore?” This Dad Froze
Not the actual photo

Son’s Tearful Hug Request Moves Dad to Rethink Affection

My son asked me why I didn’t hug him anymore?

For context my son is 14 and I’m his dad.Yesterday I was watching tv on the couch and he came in and sat beside me. Like right up against me.

I asked what was up. He said nothing. A few moments later he says “I guess I was wondering if maybe I could get a hug.”

I say “sure. Why do you ask?” I was just curious if something was wrong. He says “I don’t know. I guess you never really hug me anymore.”

I tell him I’m sorry and I give him a hug. We hug for a while. Honestly it felt a little awkward. I’m not sure why. All in my head...

When we let go I see a tear. I ask what’s wrong. He says “Nothing. It just felt nice. I’m sorry.” I say it’s okay. I ask if he wants...

He sits beside me and I put my arm around him and we watch tv in silence. I felt tense at first but I started to relax a little over...

The next morning I go and give him a hug. He says “it’s okay you don’t have to hug me all the time or anything.” I say I want to....

Anyways I guess I’m a terrible parent cause my own son has to ask me to hug him and act like I care about him and for some reason I...

When Growing Up Changes the Rules

As kids grow older, affection often becomes complicated. Parents who used to get bedtime cuddles suddenly find their kids shrugging them off or rolling their eyes.

So it’s easy to pull back and assume they’ve outgrown it. But sometimes, what looks like independence is really a quiet need for reassurance.

This dad’s story hits home because it’s not about neglect, it’s about how easily love slips into silence when life gets busy. His son didn’t accuse or blame him; he just asked for something he missed.

That simple moment showed that even teenagers, who might seem distant or self-sufficient, still crave that safe connection.

The father’s confusion wasn’t coldness. It was a mix of habit and fear of being “too much.” Maybe he thought his son wouldn’t want hugs anymore.

Maybe he assumed growing up meant growing apart. But the truth is, those small acts of affection matter more than words ever could.

Expert Opinion

Parenting experts often say emotional closeness doesn’t stop at childhood, it just changes shape.

Dr. John Gottman, author of The Science of Trust, wrote, “Affection builds emotional security; even awkward moments strengthen bonds.”

The dad’s willingness to hug again, despite feeling unsure, was exactly what his son needed.

A 2023 study by Child Trends found that 61% of parents reduce physical affection as their kids enter their teens, often thinking it’s what their kids want.

But that’s not always true. Many teens, especially boys, still crave affection, they just might not know how to ask for it without embarrassment.

The son’s quiet bravery to speak up shows emotional maturity. It’s not easy for a teenage boy to say, “I miss your hugs.”

That moment wasn’t just a hug; it was trust in action. It said, “I still need you, even if I don’t say it all the time.” And the dad’s quick response showed that love doesn’t always need a perfect script, just presence.

Breaking the Cycle of Distance

Many parents, especially fathers, were raised in households where affection wasn’t shown openly.

They may love deeply but express it through actions, working hard, fixing things, providing. For them, hugging feels vulnerable or awkward. But breaking that pattern matters.

When the dad hugged his son again the next morning, it wasn’t about routine. It was about rebuilding trust.

That small moment told his son, “I heard you. I’ll try.” And sometimes, that’s all a kid needs, to feel seen, not brushed aside.

If this dad keeps making small gestures, a pat on the shoulder, a “good job” after school, or a quick hug before bed, he’s not just showing love. He’s teaching his son that real strength isn’t about holding back emotions; it’s about sharing them.

What He Could Do Next

The good news? It’s never too late to reconnect. Experts recommend simple, consistent actions to keep emotional bonds alive.

A nightly check-in, a quick car chat, or casual hugs help build security. The dad doesn’t have to overdo it, just make it normal again.

He can also talk openly about feelings. Saying something like, “I didn’t realize I stopped hugging you, I’m glad you told me,” helps teens feel respected and understood. It shows that their voice matters, even in emotional conversations.

According to Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a social psychologist who writes for Psychology Today, “Parents who acknowledge their children’s emotional needs without judgment create the strongest long-term trust.”

That insight fits perfectly here. This dad’s willingness to listen and adjust already sets him apart from those who dismiss such moments.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit poured out love and support for this dad. 

rosebud032019 − He felt comfortable enough to mention it, that’s a sign you’re doing things right. Keep it up!

Incognito9658 − Did you grow up in a home where you didn’t get hugged?

essres − It's quite common. They grow up, get less huggy, want more space etc and before you know it you've stopped hugging your kids

We need to normalize hugging in the family Going to give my 14 and 11 years olds a big hug when I get home now

Most readers saw the son’s honesty as beautiful and the father’s guilt as proof he cares.

cens6 − As someone who grew up in a hugless home I remember as a teen literally ACHING for a hug for so long.

I now make sure to hug and cuddle my teens as much as they’ll let me

because I never want them to feel that terrible feeling of needing to be touched/comforted/loved and having no one in their life to give it to them.

Parents, please hug your kids at every single age. They need it. We need it. Everyone needs it.

Notebook47 − My daughter is 13 and needs hugs all day, every day. My 17yr old son hasn't been cuddly since he was probably 10-ish.

Everybody needs human touch. I usually approach my son and tell him I'm in need of a hug and ask if he's feeling generous.

I get a half-hearted hug from him a couple of times a week. I persist with this because I need him to know I'm always there for him. Being a...

PhilosophyStudent91 − Is this a conditioned response? Sorry first thought off the top of my head screams is this about men being conditioned to not emote verbally or physically?

Is that why it felt awkward to you? His response of you don't have to do it often sounds to me like

he's being conditioned by society (and you?) that this need is somehow not a good one.

That he needs to taper it to sometimes only.

Others shared stories of their own parents pulling away too soon.

EmotionPuzzled2861 − My husband grew up with a very unaffectionate but loving father. His Dad never knew how to say or show his love.

I made sure with our sons that I always said I love you and hug them if they are going anywhere away from us. To this day I say I...

My husband has caught on and now does that with not only just our sons but his father.

It's actually pretty funny and sad at the same time to hear his father say right back at you. There's never a shame showing your love to someone.

Block444Universe − When do you feel you started thinking it’s awkward?

When kids become grown ups we are conditioned I guess to treat them as such, even though they will always be our babies.

If you just keep hugging him off and on, on purpose, consciously, the awkwardness will go away and you will both feel better for it :) AND it will start...

It’s ok to feel weird, but I think it’s important that you work through it. Your boy will become a much more confident adult for it.

It’s already great he came and asked. Keep being a good person and you will see that it will make you a good dad. All the best!

Lokitusaborg − I make it a point to be physically affectionate with my children. People underestimate how much kids, especially young boys need it

because society often times puts barriers in there (e. g, you’re a baby, you’re weak, momma’s boy)

and it is detrimental to their self image and creates downstream issues.

CrazyGround4501 − Break the cycle; as your son will do to his.

The Bigger Lesson

The dad’s moment of doubt became a turning point. He didn’t lecture, scold, or brush his son off. He listened. He hugged. And by doing so, he reminded both of them that love can always be renewed, no matter the age.

If anything, this moment proves that parenting isn’t about being perfect, it’s about showing up, even when you stumble. Every parent pulls back sometimes without meaning to. What matters is noticing when a child reaches out and being brave enough to reach back.

Conclusion & Call for Discussion

This dad’s story reminds us that affection doesn’t have an expiration date. One small hug reopened a door that had quietly closed, proving love doesn’t fade, it just waits for a moment of courage. His son’s honesty gave him the chance to reconnect, and he took it.

If you’ve ever drifted from someone you love, a child, a parent, a partner, remember this story. It’s never too late to start again with something as simple as a hug. So, readers, what do you think?

Have you ever had a family moment that brought your heart back to life? Did you take the chance or let it pass? Share your thoughts below, because sometimes, talking about love helps us feel it again.

 

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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