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When Politics Tear a Family Apart: One Woman’s Emotional Decision to Choose Peace

by Carolyn Mullet
January 19, 2026
in Social Issues

Family gatherings are usually a time for shared memories and comfort. But for some of us, these meetings turn into emotional battlefields where beliefs and boundaries are constantly tested. We all know that politics can be a sensitive topic around the dinner table. Yet, it is rare to see it reach a point where a father would choose a stranger over his own child.

A young woman named Alicia recently found herself at the center of an internet storm. After discovering her father was complaining about her online, she decided it was time to share her own perspective. What followed was a series of revelations about broken trust, mismatched values, and a stepmother who added fuel to the fire. Her journey to finally going no contact is a poignant look at what happens when a relationship loses its foundation of respect.

Let’s explore this update that had everyone on Reddit talking.

The Story

When Politics Tear a Family Apart: One Woman’s Emotional Decision to Choose Peace
Not the actual photo

I’m the daughter of political dad. I have receipts?

I’m “Alicia”. Those aren’t our real names, thankfully. There are screenshots of two conversations with him in my profile.

One from the day of this incident in 2018, and one Facebook messenger conversation from 2020. I have more and may post them

but for now that should be enough. Yes I made a throwaway for this, I don’t want it attached to my main.

My friend actually saw the post first and told me about it, and I considered for a while whether or not I should respond.

It also took me a minute to find the conversations. I did want to address some things because even though the post was lacking details,

most of the comments I was able to read were spot on, and this was very validating for me.

• As most of you guessed, yes, he is a Republican Trump supporter and I am progressive. And yes, we are in the US.

• this was pre Covid, he came out as an anti-vaxxer during the pandemic. • Janice is horrible lol.

On the outside she seems sorta ok but she’s all about manipulation and control.

If you aren’t wholly grateful for every little thing she does she employs guilt trips.

She’s definitely the “respect your elders” type. There’s more to the story there but I’m not going into it.

• we used to all have family dinners at their house once or twice a month.

The atmosphere had been strained for a while because dad and Janice didn’t want Mary and I to comment about politics.

They were allowed to say anything they wanted but we weren’t allowed to respond.

We were told it was DISRESPECTFUL to disagree with them in their own home. I thought it was very hypocritical

and it pissed me off. When I lived with them I never really stated my opinions much out loud

because I wanted to keep the peace. Because I had to live there. As I got older and moved out

I stopped being quiet about it and I think it shocked them. I was tired of listening to racist

misogynistic nonsense and not saying anything about it. I was civil about it, I didn’t name call

or make it personal. Them on the other hand is a different story. Apparently I’m a “liberal extremist”

according to my dad who said that to my face. Because I believe in civil rights

and equal rights for everyone. Ok. • That day at Christmas my sister and I were talking about

climate change amongst ourselves and they butted into the conversation and it exploded from there. We weren’t talking

to them, at all, and they started being passive aggressive and accusing us of thinking they were stupid,

which neither of us said. My sister had apparently had enough of it all and walked out. She was

never invited over again. I continued to visit but I too was eventually told I wasn’t going to

be invited again. • the topic on tv in the café was about whichever mass shooting or police shooting

had just unfolded at the time, I don’t remember specifically. I also don’t remember the exact wording of

my dad’s comment, but it was something about guns and/or minorities. My comments in response were about

gun control and statistically the demographic of most mass shooters (white men, sorry not sorry), and he as

a white man took offense to that. So did the other boomer white man at the table next to us.

I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have started it but I was SICK of him getting in his

little comments and thinking I wouldn’t say anything back because we agreed not to talk about things like that.

• After my dad’s initial snide comment and I started listing statistics, my dad told me to stop talking.

I said “why? I’m not ashamed of anything I’m saying”. Neither of us were being loud by the way,

it was a private conversation at a normal speaking volume. At that point the other man sitting with his wife

said loudly “well I’d like her to shut up!” And started saying things about how what I was saying

was stupid. I sat there in shock and just as I was about to collect myself and tell him

to fuck off my dad turned around to him and said “you know what sir, I agree with you”

which put me into shock again. I literally could not believe that just happened. My dad then stood up,

muttered happy birthday at me, and walked out. The man continued to spout angry nonsense in my direction

while his wife tried to calm him down, and I tried to think about how fast I could get

to the police station next door if he tried something. I sat there for a few minutes in shock

and his wife came over to me and started apologizing profusely. I eventually left too and tried not to

cry on my way home. • not that it matters a whole bunch, but we drove there separately

and had paid for our food already. So he didn’t leave me without a way home and didn’t stick

me with the bill. • ever since I started speaking up about my opinions my dad has been very

patronizing and condescending. It’s funny though because even then at first when we’d debate something

we would be civil and I could get him to listen to me. I even got him to indirectly

admit that he’s pro choice once during a conversation. He doesn’t identify as that but when we

spoke logically and reasonably about it he admitted that at least in some situations abortion should be allowed.

I said congratulations that makes you pro choice, and he didn’t have anything to say to that lol

I think it’s the buzz words and the faux news that’s really tripped him up and it’s unfortunate.

• he and Janice live very much in their own little fantasy land and don’t like being

reminded that it isn’t real. They’ve stopped going to family events partly because of this and partly

because of Janice’s medical condition. AND I think partly because no one likes her. I already

turned off messages and I don’t really want to be responding to a bunch of comments,

I might turn them off altogether at some point if that’s an option but we’ll see how this

goes. This has already gotten waaayyyy more attention than I’m comfy with, but I didn’t want to leave

everyone hanging. There were some really insightful comments that gleaned a lot of truth without knowing the full

situation so I wanted to give some closure. And also to say thanks, this has helped me a

lot. As for what I’m going to do about it in real life, probably nothing, because

I’m pretty much done trying to do anything but keep up a surface level relationship. Once in a

while he tells my sister he misses me, as if he doesn’t understand what happened. We’ve had so

many conversations about this that if he doesn’t get it by now he never will, and

I’m done trying. If you’re wondering why I don’t just cut him out completely, I’m not

really sure myself. I guess I just don’t have it in me right now. EDIT: because

a lot of people seem confused, which, fair, this is an update to my previous post

that had been removed. I posted it in a comment here, it’s close to the top.

My previous post was a response to my dad’s post which someone else linked in the

comments. This update was for people who already read those two posts, without that context and

history, this is going to make zero sense to you. Hope that clears things up a

bit. Check my profile for the history, but basically I found a post from my dad

complaining that I barely talk to him and posted here to give the missing reasons. I’m

deciding to go no contact with him because of texts he sent me this morning, screenshots

in my profile. It speaks for itself but the summary is he sent me a photo

of him and Janice meeting Mike Pence, which like that’s fine by itself I don’t care

but he’s decided to rub it in my face knowing I don’t want to hear about

it. Then he tried to gaslight me by saying he sent it to “honor Mike Pence’s

wishes” and that it’s a “positive message”. I told him not to contact me anymore. I

don’t need this nonsense in my life. Honestly it’s thanks to these posts and Reddit that

the decision to cut contact was so clear to me, but I have to admit I’m

shaking as I write this. It’s obviously not the outcome that anyone wanted.

Reading Alicia’s update feels like witnessing someone finally taking a deep breath after being underwater for a long time. It is so hard when a parent uses “ideology” as a weapon to poke at their own child. You can really feel the shaking in her words as she describes that moment of going no contact. It is a decision that involves a huge amount of grief and relief all at once.

It is truly heartbreaking to think of her sitting in that café on her birthday. Imagine being insulted by a stranger while your father nods along in agreement. That is a kind of emotional betrayal that is very difficult to recover from. Alicia’s courage to stop engaging in the baiting is really inspiring for anyone who has felt similar pressure.

Expert Opinion

This situation highlights a growing social phenomenon often called “affective polarization.” This happens when our political differences become so personal that we stop seeing the “other side” as family. Instead, we begin to see them as enemies to be defeated or corrected. It is a very difficult cycle for any family to break.

According to reports from the PEW Research Center, nearly forty percent of Americans have had political disagreements with family members. While many are able to navigate these moments, others find the conflict is just a symptom of a much larger respect issue. When a father baits his daughter with controversial photos, it signals that he values “the win” over the bond.

Psychology researchers at The Gottman Institute discuss the concept of “disdain.” When one person feels their views make them superior to another, the relationship enters a danger zone. Alicia’s dad labeling her as a “liberal extremist” for her basic beliefs is a form of name-calling that shuts down healthy communication.

Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist specializing in family estrangement. He explains that most adult children who go no contact do not do it because of politics alone. They do it because of the patterns of disrespect and the refusal of the parent to listen. For Alicia, the politics were just the lens through which her father showed he didn’t respect her voice.

Finding the strength to step away from such a cycle is often a necessary act of self-care. It allows the adult child to stop defending their existence every time they get a text message. It creates a space where they can finally find their own peace away from the “baiting” and the “gaslighting” that Alicia described so vividly.

Community Opinions

The community response was a mix of intense sympathy and shared experiences of navigating similar family divides.

Many readers wondered if the father’s behavior was more like a playground bully than a parent.

refertothesyllabus − I’m sorry is this man a toddler?

mak_zaddy − [Dad’s Original Post] OP welcome to the NC with parents club.

My mom would do this ALL the time with Joe Rogan podcasts and then would get mad when I pointed out why the guest was problematic...

zanne54 − Oh, so he's capable of honouring someone's wishes. Pity he can't seem to respect yours. Naw, he's just full of s__t.

Several commenters pointed out that the father seemed to be intentionally baiting her into a fight.

SahjoBai − He texts you something he knows you won’t like, then when you call him on it, claims you’re doing something wrong.

It’s all so disingenuous. He wanted to bait you and then claim some moral high ground.

NothingAndNow111 − What a bizarre thing to do. Like, why send you that? What is the point other than picking a scab?

Other users shared their own stories of losing parents to extremist views or polarized social circles.

Bruce_Arena_Jr − As a father of a daughter and a reformed catholic conservative,

I cannot understand how any right winger can call themselves “pro-woman” or “pro-family”...

I’m sorry for your personal circumstances and hope your father wakes up.

tmarie1135 − My dad doesn't know that I'm LC with him - he just thinks I'm really busy (which in fairness I am).

The last time he came to visit me I told him I couldn't support Desantis because he clearly hates women... but you're not alone.

A few readers noticed that the father’s need to be right outweighed his desire for a healthy connection.

EastSeaweed − I’m sorry your dad is such a vile and misogynistic piece of s__t. You’re so much better off without him.

LeatherIllustrious40 − Wow. His desire to argue politics trumps his desire for a healthy relationship with his kids. Very sad... OPs dad is just a narcissistic a__hole.

Remarkable_Move8152 − (Note: This was OP's clarification on her original identity).

My friend actually saw the post first and told me about it, and I considered for a while whether or not I should respond... this was very validating for me.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

Setting boundaries with a family member who purposefully pushes your buttons is an act of bravery. You might feel guilty at first, but it is important to remember that your peace is worth protecting. You are not obligated to engage in debates that make you feel small or unsafe.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, you might try a period of low contact. This involves limiting conversations to surface-level topics or non-controversial events. However, if that person continues to cross those lines to “pick at a scab,” it is okay to take a larger step back. Surrounding yourself with friends and a community that validates your experience can make the healing process much gentler.

Conclusion

Alicia’s story is a difficult reminder that even our closest family ties can sometimes become a source of pain rather than support. While cutting contact is a heavy decision, it is often the only way to find quiet and calm in a chaotic relationship.

How do you handle family members who seem determined to turn everything into a debate? Have you ever had to set a firm boundary for the sake of your own mental health? We would love for you to share your experiences and insights in the comments below as we all learn how to build more respectful bonds.

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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