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Widowed Mom Makes Teen Son And Daughter Share Bedroom While Relying On Food Banks To Survive

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A heartbroken widow stretches pennies in a cramped one-bedroom, skipping meals and crashing in the living room to shield her three kids from homelessness. Her 16-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter rebel against shared quarters and privacy partitions, oblivious to food-bank reliance and mom’s “fasting” facade.

Reddit aches over this post-loss survival scramble, torn between raw sacrifice and teen pushback. The toddler adds chaos; commenters clash on gratitude deficits versus desperate parenting in grief-fueled poverty.

A grieving widow forces teens to share a bedroom amid financial hardship.

Widowed Mom Makes Teen Son And Daughter Share Bedroom While Relying On Food Banks To Survive
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for making my teens 16M and 14F share a bedroom?'

Throwaway account. My husband unexpectedly passed away a few months ago, and I became a single mother to 3 kids. Age 16M, 14F and 2F.

Due to the significant decrease of income, I was no longer able to continue renting where we were, and I all I can afford is a 1 bedroom apartment.

Currently, I am sleeping in the living room with my youngest 2F. I gave the bedroom to my 16M and 14F and asked them to share in the meanwhile.

I tried adding a privacy screen in the middle so they feel like they have their own space, but they are telling me that this isn't acceptable.

Each of my kids used to have their own rooms, so this is a massive change for them.

I have been looking for a better paying job for months and so far have had no luck.

I can't get a 2nd job because I can't afford to pay someone to care for my daughter 2F outside daycare hours.

Neither of my kids 16M and 14F are willing to help, and they say my youngest is not their responsibility.

I know this situation isn't ideal, but I don't know what else I can do. For the past month, I've not been eating anything for 2 days a week

and just telling the kids I'm trying out the fasting trend for weight loss purposes.

But the truth is, I can't afford to feed us all, and I have been using the food bank.

Prior to this, I had never had to use food bank services before, and I am so thankful that it exists.

I am both thankful and deeply ashamed at the same time. Would I be the AH for telling my teens that they must share the bedroom?

Would it be better if I suggested my son sleep in the living room with me and have both my female kids share the bedroom instead?

I do not live in the US but it is not common for teenagers of opposite s__ to share a bedroom. That is something I do absolutely recognize.

Edit: Gosh, I really wasn't expecting so many responses when I checked back. Thank you, everyone.

All this time, I did feel it would be unfair to put adult problems on my kids. However, I will be giving them a surface level talk about our finances.

I'll also be bringing them with me to the food bank. Hopefully, they'll be more understanding.

Edit 2: The bedroom is larger than the living room. I am able to fit 2 single beds into the bedroom

and the kids have space to store their clothes while still having the room divider in the middle. The living room is smaller.

I currently have my youngest and my own clothes stored in the hallway due to lack of space.

It is right next to the washroom and kitchen, so there is a lot of foot traffic.

The living room also doubles as dining space because there is no dining room.

A widowed mom is among three kids, a tiny one-bedroom apartment, thriving with help from food banks. This Redditor’s setup screams “desperate times,” but her teens are treating the shared bedroom like a personal apocalypse. Let’s unpack this family fiasco with a side of empathy and a dash of tough love.

First off, the core clash: privacy versus practicality. Mom’s cramming two single beds and a divider into the bigger room while her clothes live in the hallway hustle. The living room is kitchen-adjacent chaos with zero zen.

Meanwhile, the teens crave independence. Understandable, though, at 16 and 14, hormones are raging, and opposite-gender sharing feels worlds away from their old solo sanctuaries.

But mom’s in pure survival gear, skipping meals to stretch groceries. Mean while, the kids are likely buried in grief, lashing out at the closest target: this cramped new normal.

Flip the script to the teens’ side, they’re grieving too, thrust from privilege to food bank lines without a heads-up. Refusing to babysit the 2-year-old? Oof, that’s a red flag for “not my circus.” Yet, in many cultures, older siblings pitch in as a rite of passage.

Broaden this out: family dynamics post-loss often fracture under financial strain. According to a 2023 report from the American Psychological Association, over 60% of widowed parents report heightened child conflict due to economic stress. The shared bedroom also represents bottled-up emotions exploding.

Enter expert wisdom for that credibility boost. Zishan Khan, a board-certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, told Business Insider: “They see firsthand how to navigate difficult situations, such as adjusting spending during times when money is tight and how to re-budget when an unexpected expense comes up.”

Spot-on here! OP’s edit about a surface-level money chat and food bank field trip is genius. It could flip entitlement to empathy, motivating the duo to alternate babysitting for mom’s potential second job, turning shared struggles into shared strength.

Neutral solutions? Ditch the secrecy – family meeting stat. Layout the budget pie chart (visually, if possible), brainstorm teen jobs (hello, weekend gigs), or free childcare swaps with neighbors.

Gender tweak: son in the living room, daughters in the bedroom? Viable short-term pivot for modesty. Long-game: community resources like grief counseling or job training programs.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Some declare NTA and insist teens must understand and help with the crisis.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Explain to the kids what is happening and that you are trying to fix the situation. Take them to the food bank with you.

They need to know that you're doing your best during a difficult time. You don't need to hide this from them.

madelinegumbo − NTA Literally, what do they expect you to do? I get that they're upset,

but they're both old enough to understand that things are tough for your family and you can't magically make an extra bedroom appear.

rennyyy853 − NTA, and I feel like your teen kids are being too harsh. They’re refusing to look after the baby just because it’s not their responsibility?

Throughout my 19 years of existence, I’ve had to babysit my little siblings… like A LOT.

They may be annoyed by this, but if I were you as the parent, I’d make it their responsibility to look after the baby so you can perhaps work more.

As for the rooms, try to tell them nicely that you’re doing your absolute best, but this is all you’re able to afford right now.

One last thing, I’m very sorry for the loss of your husband. Sending you all the love! 💕

EverElizabeth − NTA. Your kids are going to have to understand that this situation is not ideal for any of you and you are all trying to adjust.

Teens don’t have all of the insight of an adult, but your kids are old enough to understand what’s going on.

You may have to be completely honest with them about how poor the situation really is (not being able to feed everyone).

If they truly want to help change things, they can offer to babysit while you get another job or could even try working a few hours,

but, for now, they will have to accept that this is how life is and that you are doing everything you can to just provide for their basic needs.

Others judge NAH due to shared grief and sudden life changes.

Rredhead926 − NAH. Your teens are old enough to know your financial situation.

If they really want their own rooms, then they're going to need to help - either by baby-sitting so you can get a second job or by getting jobs themselves.

It would probably be better if you and your daughters shared the bedroom, while your son sleeps in the living room.

DogsReadingBooks − So sorry for your loss. I’ll say NAH. You’re all grieving.

You’ve all been through a huge change in the last few months. This is hard on all of you.

Some urge full transparency about finances to motivate teen cooperation.

RiverSong_777 − NAH and I’m sorry for your loss but your teenagers are old enough to be told how dire your situation is right now.

You’re starving yourself and they’re not even willing to help out with babysitting

so you can get a job that would pay for a bigger place with separate bedrooms for them. They need to know!

They also need to know that while the whole situation sucks, they have a way to make a better life for all of you possible.

It’s two of them, they could share the responsibility while you go and earn the extra money you all need.

PersonalSchedule3558 − NTA Maybe your kids don't understand the gravity of your situation, but they absolutely need to step up.

Whether it be getting a job, baby sitting, or helping out wherever they can.

Pull them into a family meeting, explain the reality of what is going on, and tell them they need to have a think about what they can do to help.

If all they can do is complain about sharing a room and having to babysit, then they need to know that it is the least of your problems.

Educational-Good-652 − NTA. Are your kids aware of how bad your financial situation is? Maybe sit them down and spell things out to them.

They're teenagers, they can take it, and hopefully it will help them understand that you have no option for now. I'm sorry for your loss.

Some propose linking babysitting to earning money for a larger home.

chaosandpuppies − Could you maybe explain to the older two that if they take turns watching the baby

that you can work more and potentially get a bigger apartment? NAH. I'm so sorry for your loss.

In this tear-jerker tale, one mom’s quiet heroism clashes with teen turmoil, reminding us grief doesn’t pause for perfect living arrangements.

Do you think forcing the shared setup builds character, or should mom cave for peace (and maybe swap rooms by gender)?

How would you rally the troops if family finances hit rock bottom, honest talks, chore charts, or all of the above?

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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