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Wife Calls Husband ‘Unreliable’ After He Misses High-Risk Pregnancy Appointment For Sister’s Minor Injury

by Layla Bui
December 14, 2025
in Social Issues

Sometimes life forces impossible choices, and the consequences can hit harder than expected. For parents navigating pregnancy complications and a young child with special needs, every decision carries weight, and emotions can run high.

This man faced such a moment when he had to choose between his pregnant wife’s medical appointment and rushing to his sister’s hospital. A minor injury turned out to be less serious than first reported, but by then the tension at home had escalated.

Scroll down to see the full story and the reactions from people weighing in on whether he handled it correctly or let his family down.

A man chooses a family emergency over his pregnant wife’s critical appointment

Wife Calls Husband ‘Unreliable’ After He Misses High-Risk Pregnancy Appointment For Sister’s Minor Injury
not the actual photo

AITA for missing my wife’s appointment because my sister was in the hospital?

I29m have been with my wife 29f for 6 years.

My wife is pregnant and suffering from complications and we have weekly appointments since she’s high-risk.

She also has very high anxiety about this pregnancy since we have lost in the past,

so I always make sure I’m off or available on days of her appointments to go with her.

We also have a 4-year-old son, who has autism. Our son is specifically hard to get up and ready,

especially quickly, he throws tantrums or hides when he does not want to do something,

it can be a struggle trying to get him out the house.

A few days ago, was our appointment, but I got a call from my mother saying my sister was being rushed to the hospital

and it was super serious. I explained to my wife, head there 40 minutes away.

I find out it’s not as serious as they thought and my sister had a minor concussion and dislocated knee.

My mom is known to be dramatic. I tell my wife, and she’s furious bc I missed the appointment

and she ended up being late because our son wasn’t cooperating and how he screamed most the appointment.

When I’m there, it’s easier to calm him down when he gets o__rwhelmed.

She told me she seen where my priorities were. I told her it wasn’t my fault,

I didn’t know my sister wasn’t actually seriously injured, and she told me she’s my wife, carrying our child,

and that she needed me there but I wasn’t reliable.

She began ranting about what if she found out that day something was wrong with the baby,

and I wasn’t there. I said but you didn’t, and she completely flipped.

She’s still being weird to me, and been nagging me not to miss this next appointment.

I know it’s probably the pregnancy hormones but Am I really the ah?

When your heart is pulled in two directions at once, every choice feels like a sacrifice. It’s easy to judge decisions from the outside, but in the moment, people are trying to protect the ones they love while navigating fear, obligation, and guilt.

In this story, the OP wasn’t just “missing an appointment”; he was trying to respond to what he believed was an urgent family crisis, while also managing an already fragile family life, including a high-risk pregnancy and a child with autism.

At the core of this situation are competing emotional currents. The wife’s anxiety is rooted not only in typical pregnancy nerves but in the very real threat of losing another pregnancy, which research shows is a significant risk factor for heightened stress and anxiety throughout pregnancy.

High‑risk pregnancies often involve persistent worry about outcomes and fear of loss, especially after past losses, amplifying emotional reactions and making support and reassurance feel essential.

Meanwhile, the OP’s reaction to his sister’s hospitalization was driven by instinctive concern and urgency, based on the information he had at the time.

Miscommunication and incomplete information in emergencies can drastically change how decisions are perceived after the fact. These two responses, fear and protection, were well‑intentioned yet tragically misaligned.

While most people saw the OP’s absence as a mistake, it may help to consider how deeply stress reshapes people’s priorities. How one person estimates risk and urgency often differs from how another experiences emotional vulnerability, especially when pregnancy hormones and past trauma heighten sensitivity.

From a psychological perspective, conflict like this isn’t simply about being “right” or “wrong,” it’s about how stress interacts with attachment, fear, and perceived support.

According to an article on Psychology Today about partner support during pregnancy, “Mothers who perceived stronger social and emotional support from their partner… had fewer symptoms of emotional distress later in pregnancy and after giving birth,” underscoring how vital reliable presence and reassurance are to pregnant women’s emotional well-being.

This expert insight highlights why the wife’s reaction felt so intense: consistent support during pregnancy can reduce anxiety and improve emotional outcomes for both mother and baby.

When she feared her partner wasn’t there, her anxiety surged, not because she doubted his love, but because her physiological and psychological state amplified the fear of abandonment at a moment of vulnerability.

Understanding this doesn’t excuse hurtful moments, but it does humanize them. Conflict under stress often exposes deeper needs for reassurance, connection, and shared resilience rather than a simple right/wrong outcome.

Instead of blaming, couples might benefit from pre‑planning for emergencies, clear communication about triggers and expectations, and compassion for how stress reshapes priorities. In doing so, they can strengthen their bond and weather future conflicts not as adversaries, but as partners facing life’s unpredictability together.

Here are the comments of Reddit users:

These commenters agreed OP was not at fault, given the apparent emergency with his sister

Nessie51 − NTA. I’m so sorry it’s in this situation that no matter what you did, you were going to upset someone.

Your mum is TA for being overly dramatic

and your wife should not make you choose between your sister and her, that’s unfair.

I would wait till she calms down slightly and have a gentle conversation about this,

acknowledge her anxiety and how you want to be there - and you are.

This may be like this, though, throughout the whole pregnancy…

HIOP-Sartre − With the benefit of additional info provided by you,

which is that your mother said your sister was in a motorcycle crash and that it was serious, I’m gonna say NTA.

I don’t care how dramatic your mother tends to be.

If you hear “motorcycle crash” and “serious,” the appropriate response isn’t, “Eh, I’m sure my sister’s fine.”

Something needs to be done about your mother’s overdramatic tendencies, tho.

No_Listen7182 − NTA. i get her anxiety is really bad,

but you thought there was an emergency with a family member. That is excusable

ExcitingCauliflower − NTA, you didn't know the injury wasn't serious.

I understand that your wife is having a stressful time,

but she seems completely self-centered and unresponsive to reason. You did not miss the appointment on purpose.

If your sister was seriously injured, it makes complete sense for you to visit her.

Hopefully, you work things out with your wife if this is an unexpected response on her part.

Automatic_Mood_8261 − NTA (I’m 36 weeks pregnant and have regular appointments due to being higher risk)

even if your mom is known for being over the top/ dramatic, how are you supposed to determine

if she’s being dramatic or if it’s actually serious without seeing it yourself?

You were told she was in a major accident.

While your wife is high risk, it was a routine weekly appointment.

I’d be pissed if my husband heard a family member was in the hospital

and chose to go to a routine appointment with me instead. It sucks but s__t happens.

I’m glad your sister is okay and your wife’s appointment seemed to have gone well.

I think everyone is heavily focused on the idea that you know your mom is dramatic

but there’s honestly no way to tell. Imagine if you brushed it off as your mom being dramatic

and your sister was actually in life life-threatening condition? then you’d be the AH for not being by her side.

it’s kind of a lose lose situation.

I do agree that you could have handled your wife being upset better, but i am sympathetic to the situation

Calealen80 − NTA You didn't have all of the information to work with when you found out about your sister,

and it's not the right time, (as the emergency is happening), to ask probative questions.

What seems odd to me through this whole discussion is that everyone is failing to read the part

where you explained the situation to your wife before you left.

Its not like you just ran off unexpectedly and called her once you were on the road or at the hospital,

you literally had a discussion with her about it before you left.

If she had any issues with how serious she thought it was, literally any problem at all,

she should have voiced those concerns at that time, so there is absolutely no way that this is on you.

She is a grown ass adult.

If she can't speak up about a problem before if happens, then she has to take some responsibility

and share the blame for her prenatal appt. not going the exact way she wanted.

She had the ability to intervene beforehand and chose not to

DueMap4190 − I'm going with NTA. Had I gotten a call like that, my wife, with her in the OB-GYN's office,

she'd have told me to go. And with what you'd been given I think you should have.

DQ608 − NTA most people would drop everything if they heard a loved one was in a serious accident.

Doubly so, when hearing it was a motorcycle accident, they are called donor-cycles for a reason.

I disagree with commenters saying that rushing to the hospital was unreasonable

because you can't do anything but wait to hear from the doctors.

If things takes a turn for the worse could be the last chance to see your loved one.

You don't know and no one wants to take the chance and miss that opportunity.

Depending on the situation, OP could have been there to help make vital medical decisions

that his sister was unable to make due to her condition.

His mother is dramatic but unless this is the third "serious drop everything emergency."

This month which turned out to be an exaggeration, I can understand why OP wouldn't hesitate to go to the hospital.

While the pregnancy is high risk, the appointment was a routine appointment.

If there was bad news, the only thing OP could have done in the moment was comfort his wife,

which he can do when he gets back from the hospital if worse comes to worse.

Plus OP would have been terrible at calming her down while he is freaking out himself about his sister.

His anxiety would have likely exacerbated hers.

[Reddit User] − NTA as far as you know your sister could have been dying,

your wife's ire should be on your mother's shoulders not yours.

These Redditors highlighted that the situation was tough, with both sides understandable, and advised empathy for the wife’s stress

Jerratt24 − NAH. A pretty tough situation to be in.

But, you aren't a doctor so not sure why you were required to be there immediately?

Mom was stupidly dramatic; you should've clarified the situation.

Edit: guys I posted this before any mention of an accident

dunnodudes − This is a tough one. If your wife has anxiety about the pregnancy,

you really need to prioritize being there for her and helping ease her anxiety.

I completely understand your decision-making with the info you had. Just be careful moving forward.

Sincerely apologize and promise to put her first and be there for her.

Ultimately going to say NAH… Be careful, my wife had a lot of resentment

and years of working through this for a somewhat similar situation.

She completely felt abandoned and lost trust in me. Fair or not, it can really strain a relationship.

Try to imagine the fear and anxiety she is feeling. She needs you.

Lumos934 − NAH, except for your Mother.

Honestly, if I heard “sister”, “motorcycle crash” and “serious” I’d have done exactly what you did;

my rational brain wouldn’t have been able to kick in to ask “hmm can I trust that this isn’t as serious?”

You made a very difficult judgment call and unfortunately, it was the wrong one

but I don’t believe the call was in bad faith. Your wife is talking about hypotheticals on her side with the baby,

but there are those for you too; what if it had been serious and it was your last chance to see your sister?

That being said, I think you owe your wife an apology for adding to her stress,

not considering your family when you made the decision to drive 40+ mins away

and not taking a second to assess the validity of your mother’s claims.

I’d also be interested to know whether this has happened before?

Does your mother have a habit of dragging you away from your family for “emergencies”;

your wife’s reaction was intense, and aside from pregnancy hormones/anxiety,

I’m wondering if there’s also a precedent of things like this happening before?

A final note; you should also look at contingency planning for appointments in the future;

do you have friends or loved ones nearby who could watch your son?

Is there someone else your wife would trust to be at an appointment with her if you can’t make it?

I wonder if having these measures in place would help reduce your wife’s anxiety

and make her feel less reliant on your decisions.

I imagine a lot of her anger is coming from feeling helpless/dependent and it’s going to take time

and effort from you to rebuild her trust. Wishing you and your wife all the luck for the pregnancy and birth.

Aggressive_Cup8452 − Nah. It could have gone both ways.

Now you know that your sister was not seriously injured but at the time you did not and chose accordingly.

It sucks that you missed the appointment but apparently nothing too mlbad happened.

But your wife is high-risk pregnant and I can not imagine the anxiety she's going through.

And anxiety sometimes manifests itself in lashing out to the person near you.

ozziejean − NAH After my miscarriage, every ultrasound appointment made me cry despite trying to hold it in.

I hope she can move on but if she I'd just being different towards you,

and asking you to go to the next one after her horrible experience, I don't think I'd say she was an AH.

You made a choice with the limited information you had,

she has the benefit of hindsight and had an awful experience when she was feeling vulnerable

In the end, Reddit didn’t see a careless husband or a controlling wife, just two people drowning in fear from different sides of the same storm. One reacted to a potential loss in real time; the other processed her fear alone, after the fact.

Do you think the husband made the only reasonable call with the information he had, or should pregnancy always come first when the stakes are this high? How would you handle a moment where every option feels wrong? Drop your hot takes in the comments below!

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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