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Woman Announces Pregnancy, Sister Claims It Was “To Spite Her” and Starts Calling Everyone

by Charles Butler
December 18, 2025
in Social Issues

A family group chat turned into a low-key battleground over who gets to shine. One sister shared a happy photo of her new dog, the kind of sweet update that normally gets everyone spamming hearts and compliments.

Then the older sister swooped in fast. She tossed in her own pregnancy announcement within the hour, and it landed like a loud cough during a toast.

The younger sister says this has happened for years. Engagements, graduations, new relationships, anything good, the older sister finds a way to make it about her.

Now the younger sister has her own news. She just found out she’s pregnant too, and she knows her older sister hates sharing the spotlight. So she’s tempted to do something petty on purpose. She wants to announce her pregnancy using the exact same wording her sister used, like a copy and paste boomerang.

It sounds hilarious. It also sounds like it could light the whole family on fire.

Now, read the full story:

Woman Announces Pregnancy, Sister Claims It Was “To Spite Her” and Starts Calling Everyone
Not the actual photo

'WIBTA If I announce My Pregnancy Right After my Older Sister Using Her Exact Announcement Message?'

I'm a 26 year old woman. My older sister Tiffany (31F) has an issue with needing attention and one-upping me and my other sister Chloe (28F).

Ever since we were kids if we had something big happen or won any type of award Tiffany would inject herself and try to pull attention away.

It was never really confronted and our parents would tell Chloe and I that "you know she is self-conscious and paranoid about not having attention, just let it go".

As an example she told Chloe that she couldn't introduce her new boyfriend (now husband) to our family or bring him to events when they started dating

because they got together the same month that she (Tiffany) got engaged and it would pull attention from her

because everyone would want to get to know they new guy instead of focusing on the wedding. She tried to ban him from the wedding which got overruled.

Additionally she tried to schedule her wedding the same day as my college graduation, knowing it was my graduation,

but trying to pick it anyway because it was the "perfect day" and "I already got the experience at my highschool graduation so it doesn't matter if I miss this...

(She got overruled on this one too).

Well fast-forward to 3 weeks ago.

Chloe got a new dog that she is very excied about and sent a photo to our family group chat saying "We are excited to announce a new member of...

Everyone was messaging back commenting on how cute the dog is, how excited they are that Chloe got a dog, etc.. Well cue Tiffany.

Not an hour after Chloe's message she sent this: "Well congrats on the new dog. Speaking of new additions... Baby T is due this November! :-) "

I was pissed. This exactly the same type of crap she always pulls and I knew how excited Chloe was about this dog and I felt it was a passive-aggressive...

I saw Chloe later and she was putting on a brave face, but it was clear that she knew Tiffany had done this to one-up her yet again.

Here is where I would be the a__hole: I know for a fact that Tiffany's worst nightmare is for one of us to be pregnant at the same time as...

because we would be taking attention from her. Well, I found out yesterday I am pregnant with my first and here is where I need judgment:

Would I be the a__hole if I announce my pregnancy in the family group chat using Tiffany's exact message. EG: Well congrats on the new baby.

Speaking of new additions... Baby M is due this January! :-)". Petty? Very. But would I be the a__hole?

Quick edit that came up in a comment: My husband and I are over the moon about this step towards starting our family! I am a couple months along,

but didn't have symptoms (nausea) so we only just found out. Given I'm a couple months in we are ready to tell the family.

Any way that we tell people is going to p__s of Tiffany, it's more a question of doing this or phrasing it more delicately to microscopically reduce her anger.

(Also, I am genuinely happy for her on her pregnancy, I'm just frustrated that she was petty yet again. I hoped she would be over that by now, but it...

UPDATE: Wow this blew up! I'm going to add a little more info after reading some comments.

My husband and I live across the country and the rest of the siblings live at least a couple hours from each other, the last family get-together was Christmas so...

Due to distance majority of our big announncements happen over the group chat (although usually pregnancies come with photos and some kind of fanfare).

INFO: I shouldn't have used the word overruled (on the weedding), with the boyfriend Tiffany's fiance said they should get to know him at a few events

and get a sense for his vibe and then make the call on the invite. Boyfriend is a super chill , kind guy, so Tiffany said he could come and...

With my graduation my parents said they would be attending and fiance stepped in saying there was another date that month that he liked better/would work better.

I did call my parents and let them know, and they are excited, though told me that I should be delicate in how I phrase it to not upset Tiffany....

but my husband and I have been trying for awhile and we are super excited.

They told me I should gush over her and say how happy and excited I am for her and then add how excited I am to have kids so close...

I'm not honestly sure how happy about that I am though.

I want my child to have family and cousins, but I'm not sure how much I want him/her to be around Tiffany since she is a major gossip and negative...

I would much rather have him/her be around Chloe's kids.

I also called Chloe, asked how she's been and generally caught up then told her. She is thrilled for us and super excited to be an auntie again.

We talked a little about the back and forth in the group chat and she laughed and said,

"It was inevitable, if it wasn't a baby it would have been a new thing about one of her other kids or a new recipe or something."

She said she would leave it up to me how I announce it. She also sent me more photos of Bess, and honestly: cutest fricking dog I've ever seen.

Chloe has had a really tough year and Bess is her husband's gift to her for weathering the storm and being amazing

(everyone in the family knows this, so it was very apparent Tiffany was trrying to quash all that).

We've put up with Tiffany's shenanigans for years and never pushed back because we wanted to be sensitive to her insecurities,

but in the last couple years she has really upped the ante.

Chloe's kids have allergies so Tiffany went and called several members of the family saying that she just "doing it for attention" and that the kids aren't actually allergic (they...

She only calls me to gossip about other people and when I've shut it down or said "you seem really concerned and I'm not there to see for myself

so maybe you need to talk to the person directly if it really is this big of an issue" she comes up with excuses and then will ghost me for...

I am honestly worried that she will try to name steal/gossip or lie about my husband and I to family members no matter what I do.

I should be able to find out gender through blood test in a few weeks (Tiffany has not announced gender yet) and I'm leaning towards announcing to everyone else then..

Also, to everyone who commented along the lines of as Palpatine/Sidious said: Dew it! Thanks for the laughs! 😆

It wouldn't let me update the post originally so I put it in the comments, but here is the 2nd Update:

UPDATE #2:. So a lot happened over the last few days and this update is a little long.

So first: one of my parents told Tiffany, not sure if it was an accident or they thought it would help to forewarn her, but based on the aftermath it...

She then called a sibling asking if they knew then burst into tears saying I got pregnant just to spite her.

At this point, Chloe called me and said sh\*t was hitting the fan, oh, and by the way, guess who just found out she's also pregnant with her third?!

We talked about how we want to do announcements and both figured I should bite the bullet and send something sooner rather than later.

My husband and I had done a little photoshoot a few days ago, so I sent a cute photo announcement to the group chat (New Year, new adventure!

with our ultrasound photo and a New Years gold sparkle theme). And before anyone asks: I didn't include anything about Tiffany in the announcement, or follow any script.

Congratulations poured in and everyone was excited. Tiffany sent one text: 'Fun.'

Well come to find out a couple days later that she called not one, but several others to demand whether or not they knew.

Note: this was before we sent the announcement to the group (I think she believed it was a huge c__spiracy against her).

A couple of people asked her why she was telling everyone when it was my announcement and that when my husband and I want people to know we will tell...

but it's not her news and not her place to spoil it. Also, in case there were complications it is super sh\*tty of her to tell people when we don't...

The rest were mostly silent saying that they were excited for both of us: Tiffany on her last, and me on my first.

Well apparently that went over like a lead balloon and Tiffany was sobbing telling them how selfish I was to do this to her..

She hasn't spoken to anyone in the family since then.

Lastly, I told Chloe about the suggestion to include Bess in her announcement when she decides to make it and she loved it.

Not sure what she'll ultimately settle on to announce her baby, but a Bess photo is looking like a strong contender.

She will probably announce sooner rather than later, so I may have one more update for y'all when Chloe's announcement drops.

Thank you to everyone who gave their input. I know we all probably have someone in our life that we wish we could stick it to and get that one...

Everyone has had a bully, an attention h__, an intrusive coworker, etc. and we all long for some justice to happen.

When it came down to it I realized something I think I've known all along:

that Tiffany has dug herself into a hole thinking that everyone is always trying to one-up her and believing that everyone is against her;

even those who genuinely just hope she focuses on making her life the best it can be and not comparing herself to anyone else.

She has repeatedly hurt/turned people against her with constant pettiness and passive-aggression and that makes for a pretty lonely life.

There is nothing I could do that is worse than what she has done to herself, and even if there was I wouldn't want to.

My hope is that she realizes one day that the world isn't against her and that it doesn't diminish her successes when someone else has a big milestone.

Final note: when Chloe and I talked we also agreed to stop putting up with things and start calling out comments that are inappropriate/rude/passive aggressive etc.

and back each other up when it happens.

We are also going to let our parents know moving forward that we will address any comments that fall into those categories and we hope they will support us

because it doesn't help anyone and makes everyone else's life harder due to walking on eggshells when we try not to "rock the boat".

UPDATE #3:. Ok, I thought the last update was my final one, but another character has reared her head.

Chloe announced her pregnancy, and people were excited, including another female family member

(not a sister, but I want to keep it vague so this isn't found by family) who we'll call Britney. She pops in with a message saying,

"Congrats... well, not to steal the spotlight or anything, but I'm also pregnant!" This was within 20 minutes of Chloe's message.

Now, there is a bit of history between Chloe and Britney (Chloe was requiring accountability over a major boundary cross

and Britney tried to brush it off. It was completely inappropriate and there's been some tension ever since,

mostly in the form of passive-aggressive jabs on Britney's side about Chloe) so this was pretty damn intentional on her side.

My husband, being the direct, straightforward person he is, was fed up at this point and texted, "Dang Chloe, sorry everyone keeps overshadowing your announcements.

Huge congrats to you and \[Chloe's husband's name\] on the newest addition!" Chloe responded with a "poor me" gif that was clearly a joke to clear the air

and said, "We've all just got a lot of exciting news to share with everyone; it's a big year!" Despite her lightening the mood the chat went silent after that.

There haven't been any new comments since. I think he has well and truly killed that particular group chat

and the grapevine is saying that Tiffany is calling out my husband for "being rude" and "sticking his nose where he doesn't belong".. I hope this is it, but at...

PS We do know our gender and have our name picked out, thank you to everyone who gave input; we are keeping the name under lock and key until the...

This whole thing feels exhausting in a very specific way. Not the big, dramatic screaming kind of exhausting. More like the slow drip of someone turning every happy moment into a contest.

The dog announcement turning into a baby announcement, that’s the kind of move that makes people stop sharing good news at all.

And once that happens, everyone loses.

I also get why OP’s brain went straight to petty payback. After years of being told to “just let it go,” the first time you hold a match, it feels powerful. Then you remember you also live in the house you’re about to set on fire.

That’s where this story gets interesting, because it turns into a question about boundaries, family patterns, and what kind of peace OP wants in the long run.

At the center of this story sits a pattern, not a single text message. OP describes a sister who grabs attention fast, especially when someone else gets it first. That behavior often shows up in families where people learned to compete for emotional oxygen.

They did not learn to share it. A useful lens here involves triangulation.

Triangulation happens when someone pulls a third person into tension to manage feelings and control the room. It can look like gossip, dramatic updates, or timed announcements that force everyone to react.

In a group chat, triangulation spreads even faster. One person posts good news. Someone else redirects the spotlight. Now everyone must pick where to look, and someone always feels punished.

OP’s parents also play a role, even if they mean well. They coached OP and Chloe to accommodate Tiffany for years. That often teaches the loudest person that pressure works. It also teaches everyone else that discomfort counts less than keeping the peace.

Sibling dynamics matter here because they last. Many Americans grow up with siblings, so these “old roles” can stick hard into adulthood. People still slip into the same positions, like the peacemaker, the star, the scapegoat. That can happen even when everyone has jobs, spouses, and kids.

Now add pregnancy announcements. Pregnancy brings attention, questions, support, and family excitement. For someone who fears losing attention, that can feel like a threat. OP even reports that Tiffany called it her “worst nightmare” to share pregnancy timing. That line matters because it reveals entitlement to the spotlight.

So what should OP do, if she wants something better than endless escalation?

Start with a goal that stays calm and practical. OP wants to share joyful news. OP also wants to stop rewarding sabotage. Those goals can coexist, but OP needs a strategy.

First, align with Chloe privately. Chloe already showed support. That alliance reduces Tiffany’s ability to isolate one sister at a time.

Second, announce in a way that feels like OP, not like Tiffany. A copycat message may feel satisfying for ten minutes. Then it invites a new round of drama about tone, timing, and “disrespect.” OP already saw how quickly Tiffany spiraled, even when OP stayed polite. OP can remove fuel by staying warm and direct.

Third, set a boundary about group chat behavior. Boundaries work best when they describe your action, not someone else’s character. OP can say she will not engage in competition posts. OP can also say she will address passive-aggressive comments in the moment. That matches her update plan.

Fourth, control sensitive information tightly. OP already decided to lock down the baby name. That sounds smart, given the family gossip pattern. Private details deserve private handling.

Fifth, keep the marriage unit solid. The Gottman Institute emphasizes that couples do better with in-laws when they stay aligned and protect the partnership.

In this story, OP’s husband stepping in with a supportive message helped shift the vibe. That kind of calm solidarity matters. It signals, “Our family decisions do not run through the group chat’s loudest person.”

Finally, expect pushback. When someone benefits from a dynamic, they often escalate when you change it. That does not mean the boundary fails. It means the boundary works.

OP does not need to “win” the chat. OP needs to protect her joy, her mental space, and her future child’s environment. This story lands on a blunt lesson. Families can celebrate more than one person at a time. When someone refuses to share, the healthiest move involves clearer boundaries and less performance for the audience.

Check out how the community responded:

A big chunk of commenters basically said, “Do it,” and demanded the messy aftermath like it’s a season finale. Petty fans heard “copy the text” and replied, “Hit send.”

bookreader-123 - Do it but tell chloe beforehand so she knows you are in her corner

Tashaslittlemoods - NTA. Be the chaotic baddie and do it hahahaha

LuigiMPLS - YWBTA if you don't share the aftermath. DO IT.

Confetti4Teddi - NTA. Do it.

Familiar_Set_9779 - Do it, also announce the babys name and make it ugly shel probably steal it, then give yours their real name at birth!

Other people wanted OP to announce in a cuter way, so Tiffany can’t claim OP “copied her,” and still can’t handle sharing attention. They basically said, “Stay classy, let her be the problem.”

Mela777 - NTA, but I’d be a bit pettier. Instead of using her language, say something like “Congratulations! It will be so exciting to watch our babies grow up together!

Having cousins that are close in age is such a blessing. And I’m glad I won’t be on this journey to motherhood alone. Even though I am a bit behind,...

throwaway20648 - Eh, if I were you, I would do something unique to you and your husband and your new addition. Maybe a photo with your sisters new dog holding...

Maybe a cute Pinterest inspired announcement? Make it unique to your family and much cuter than hers. It will still bother her, and you will not have stooped to her...

Kirbywitch - Frankly I’d make a huge fuss about the dog. I’d go see your sister and snap tons of photos. Or ask for photos. And post them.

Announce yours a different day, that way your baby’s day is most likely all about them.

Then came the “protect your info” crew, who assumed Tiffany would swipe a baby name like it’s a limited-time coupon. They yelled, “Keep the name secret, and get creative.”

FairyFartDaydreams - NTA she deserves a little bit of her own medicine. Whatever you do DO NOT announce the actual baby name.

She will steal the name as she is likely due before you.

Master-Street-5412 - I would send a picture of your other sister’s dog holding an ultra sound saying I have a cousin on the way. but that’s just my level of...

This story has humor all over it, but it also has a real family problem underneath. OP and Chloe grew up learning they had to shrink their joy to avoid upsetting Tiffany. That “keep the peace” habit trained everyone to protect Tiffany’s feelings first.

Now OP’s pregnancy changes the stakes. A baby brings attention, vulnerability, and new boundaries. OP already learned that Tiffany can turn even good news into a loyalty test.

So the best move looks simple, even if it feels hard. Announce the pregnancy in a way that feels joyful and personal. Keep details private until OP feels safe sharing them. Back Chloe up loudly when Tiffany tries to hijack her moments. Then let Tiffany manage her own feelings, because OP can’t do that job anymore.

What do you think? If you had a sibling who always one-upped you, would you go petty once, just to prove a point? Or would you skip the drama and set a boundary that changes the whole dynamic?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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