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Woman Blames Boyfriend For Losing Job After He Walked Out On Her At Lunch

by Annie Nguyen
January 2, 2026
in Social Issues

In a relationship, sometimes we push our partners to do better, thinking we’re helping them grow. But when the pressure gets too intense, it can backfire in ways we didn’t foresee. One man found himself in this exact situation when his girlfriend’s poor work performance led to a critical lunch break disagreement that cost her a job opportunity.

After months of punctuality issues and lack of focus at work, he reached his breaking point during a lunch date.

He walked out of the restaurant, leaving her behind when she didn’t meet his timeline, and now she’s blaming him for her failure to secure a full-time position. He feels frustrated, but is he wrong for walking away or should he have stuck it out?

Read on to find out why this situation is causing a divide in opinions about accountability, expectations, and how much partners should push each other.

A man ditches his girlfriend at a restaurant after a lunch dispute, unknowingly contributing to her job loss

Woman Blames Boyfriend For Losing Job After He Walked Out On Her At Lunch
not the actual photo

'AITAH for ditching my girlfriend at a restaurant, which contributed to her failing her probationary period at work?'

I [27m] have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, Cindy [26f], since university.

Last September, Cindy's company went under.

She took this hard because she loved her workplace, loved her colleagues, and loved her boss.

Unfortunately, they just weren't making that much money, so the plug was pulled.

When Cindy came home and delivered the news to me, I asked if she wanted me to introduce her to my boss.

Having the same major, we work in the same field, and my company is almost always hiring.

Cindy said yes, and I texted my boss on the spot.

After delivering her CV to him and a short interview process, she was hired in a three-month probationary position.

I was really excited to be working with Cindy.

We could save money on gas by carpooling, spend more time together, and have lunch together too.

Unfortunately, things did not pan out. To be frank, Cindy was a horrible employee.

She showed up to the office 15-20 minutes late virtually every day.

I had to give up on carpooling with her because I have a morning meeting, and I need to get to work 15 minutes early every day.

Cindy's favorite activity at work was opening up a blank Google doc and looking at her phone under her desk.

The hour we get for lunch was often an hour and a half for Cindy, and she really accomplished nothing in her time there.

This continued for three months. Last Monday was a rare occasion where Cindy was actually ready on time to go to work together.

Perhaps this was because of my gentle urging for her to get her s__t together,

or perhaps it was because her probationary period was ending soon, but we were able to carpool.

We went out to lunch together, and Cindy ate way too slowly. I was looking at the clock and encouraging her to get a move on,

but at the end of the meal, right when we had to leave to make it back on time, Cindy decided she wanted another refill of her soda.

I told her time was up, but she was adamant that she absolutely needed another refill.

To make matters worse, the restaurant was crowded and we couldn't flag down a server.

I put the cash for the meal and a tip on the table, and I told Cindy that I was leaving, with or without her.

Cindy played chicken with me here, thinking that if she refused to move, I'd have no choice but to wait.

But I walked to my car and drove back. Cindy showed up 20 minutes later visually flustered.

The restaurant was a 10-minute walk away, so I'm pretty sure she did end up getting her refill.

She has been furious with me since. Last Friday, Cindy got her final judgment for her probationary period.

Due to poor punctuality and general lack of direction, my company decided not to hire her for a full-time position.

Cindy blames me. She says I made her late, and that I ruined everything.

Last night, she asked how she was supposed to pay her part of her rent without a job,

and I responded, 'Yes, that's a good question. How will you be paying?'

This threw oil on the proverbial fire, and now she doesn't even want to fight about it anymore. Was I an a__hole for what I did here?

Update: Last week, I [27m] talked about how my girlfriend, Cindy [26f], blew her probationary period for the job I got her completely.

She was chronically late, unproductive, and she took 90-minute marathon lunch breaks.

She claims that I sabotaged her because instead of being late when getting back to work,

I left her at a restaurant when she wanted another refill of her soda. Anyway.

Cindy decided that she was going to take some time off of work for her mental health.

Knowing that she had absolutely no savings, I asked how she was going to contribute to rent, groceries, and utilities,

but Cindy said that wasn’t my concern. I decided to be upfront and flat-out tell her not to expect me to financially support her.

She responded by calling me a “low provider,” whatever that means.

It's also not right because I'm more of a no provider. I'm not into arrangements where I financially support a woman for companionship.

At this point I knew that our relationship was basically over,

but I decided that I’d stay in the apartment we rent for the next two months (as we have paid our rent in full until the end of May) and...

Then Cindy began taking steps to actively sabotage me at work.

For example, last Friday, when I was getting ready for work, I couldn’t find my shoes.

After letting me look for them for 15 minutes, Cindy finally said that she washed them.

I’m fairly sure Cindy has never washed anything other than a plate or her own laundry,

but on Friday morning, she abruptly decided to wash my shoes. Right. They were soaking wet.

I had to wear an old pair of Crocs that were two sizes too small to the office that day.

On my way home, I bought new shoes and kept them in my car.

Then Cindy began spamming me with texts during a meeting on Saturday (one I had told her I was having),

saying there was a guy banging on our door. She insisted I needed to come home right away.

I checked our Ring camera and saw nothing. When I texted her back saying so, she said it must have been the neighbor or something.

It’s worth mentioning here that I can see the neighbor’s door on the camera too, and nobody was banging on it either.

I got the picture of what was going on, and realizing the next escalation would be having my tires slashed or brakes cut,

after work that day, I went back to our apartment, gathered my belongings, and left.

Cindy naturally went off the rails, but I got out safely. Now I’m at my buddy’s house for a few days until I can find a new living situation.

Thank you for all the advice you gave me. I’m sure this can act as a cautionary tale in various ways.

Unfortunately, I'm kind of out of it after all this drama, so I'll leave that part up to you.

When couples talk about the future, especially major milestones like buying a home, planning a family, or advancing careers, there’s an unspoken expectation that they’ll support each other not just emotionally but practically, too.

For many people, having a partner who shows consistent, positive support can affect confidence and performance in other areas of life, including work performance and emotional regulation.

Some research in psychology has found that perceived partner support is linked with better emotional well‑being and overall life satisfaction, suggesting that support (or lack of it) from a romantic partner can play a meaningful role in how someone handles stress and responsibilities.

In the OP’s story, his girlfriend Cindy was on a three‑month probationary period at a new job, a trial phase that many employers use to evaluate whether an employee is a suitable long‑term fit.

During probation, employers typically assess performance, punctuality, and ability to meet expectations. If the employee isn’t meeting those standards, it’s common for them not to have the position extended to full employment. (Smart Workforce)

Cindy’s consistent lateness and lack of engagement were factors within her control at work, and those patterns likely had a stronger impact on her job outcome than a late lunch that day.

However, what the research on social support and job performance does point to is that when employees feel supported, they are more likely to experience higher job satisfaction and better performance, whereas a lack of support can contribute to stress and disengagement at work.

From a relational standpoint, the connection between how partners act toward each other and how they function individually is well documented. If a partner consistently feels criticized or unsupported, especially during stressful life transitions like starting a new job, that can worsen stress and make it harder for them to perform at their best.

Couples researchers describe this as part of how work‑family spillover operates: stress or conflict in one domain (relationships) can influence experiences and behaviors in the other (work).

In the incident at the restaurant, the OP’s decision to leave instead of waiting with Cindy was a response to momentary frustration, not a supportive intervention.

While it’s understandable that the OP felt pressured by the time constraints, leaving her alone in that situation was not a constructive way to help improve her work performance or emotional state, especially when she was already under strain due to her probation.

A more compassionate approach, like prompt communication, expressing concern, or helping Cindy prioritize time management, might have supported her better both emotionally and in practical terms.

Afterwards, Cindy failed her probation. It’s plausible that a combination of ongoing performance issues and the emotional climate of her relationship influenced her work experience, rather than this single episode being solely to blame. Failures to meet workplace expectations are typically rooted in sustained patterns of behavior during probation, not one late lunch. (Smart Workforce)

When the OP responded to Cindy’s concerns about rent with a lack of empathy, it likely worsened the relational strain.

Research on social undermining in relationships shows that when one partner is critical or unsupportive, especially during stressful life events, it can contribute to psychological stress and conflict within the couple.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

This group of Redditors pointed out that the responsibility for the situation lies with Cindy and her consistent tardiness

Talkingmice − If she seriously believes she wasn’t hired because of that particular day and not all of the other ones, she’s delusional af.

You even tried helping her to be punctual but she didn’t give af NTA, not your responsibility at all

Terrible_turtle_ − Good grief. They didn't let her go because she was late from lunch once.

Good for you for not risking your job to play stupid games. NTA

AreYouZerious12345 − Nope she fcked around & is in the process of finding out. NTA

These Redditors highlighted that Cindy’s behavior was the cause of her own downfall, with some even predicting she would shift the blame onto the OP, who was not at fault

agohawks − Guess you found out why that company went under. NTA.

cowandspoon − NTA. The only person in this story responsible for Cindy’s predicament, is Cindy.

If this is how she handles adult responsibilities, I’d be reconsidering her role in my life.

AwayBid9705 − NTA Prepare for her to tell y'all's friends it is all your fault.

These Redditors suggested that Cindy’s lack of responsibility and consideration for the OP’s reputation

bookwormsolaris − NTA. Cindy is way past the age where she should know how to manage her time.

Her actions also had a chance of lowering your reputation in your boss's eyes, so this is pretty s__tty of her

GuiltyBluebird2339 − Please tell me you can see what she is doing??? She doesn’t want to work.

It was a jump but she stretched her wee little self all the way to being without a job and somehowwww you are at fault?

So now, it’s only fair that you pay her part of the rent and utilities and food.

It’s the least you can do for getting her fired. She set this up. Please please say you can see it. Op, you are getting played. NTA

FAYGOTSINC21 − NTA but that relationship is over, over.

Probably for the best though, would you honestly want to deal with such an unreliable and entitled person for the rest of your life?

This group questioned why the OP is still in a relationship with someone who is unreliable, lazy, and inconsiderate

cassowary32 − INFO why are you still dating this person? ? I can't imagine her laziness and inconsideration is only work related.

AellaReeves − Why are you with a person that would risk making you look bad at your job for recommending her?

Prudii_Skirata − NTA Not only was she f__king off at her job, but she was f__king off at a job

that she was given by borrowing your clout and making you look like an a__hole because you vouched for her.

These Redditors echoed the sentiment that Cindy’s habitual lateness and irresponsibility were deal-breakers

Time-Improvement6653 − So it's your fault she was late every other time and dicking around at work?

NTA, and she needs to grow TF up. Plus she can apologise for the fact that you vouched for her and she shat on the opportunity!

MyLadyBits − Do you want to tie yourself to the way she lives her life? You sound incompatible.

SAHD292929 − NTA She was fired the moment she started coming in late habitually. You are lucky you didn't go down with her.

Is the boyfriend justified in walking out, or did he make the situation worse? Was Cindy right to blame him, or is she deflecting responsibility for her own actions? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 9/9 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/9 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/9 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/9 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/9 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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