Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Criticized Her Body And Tried To ‘Fix’ Her

Relationships should lift us up, but when someone we trust consistently criticizes our appearance, it can feel like we’re being torn down.

This 23-year-old woman has been dating her boyfriend for a year, but over time, his “concerns” about her body have become more hurtful than helpful. From sending her workout plans to constantly comparing her to other women, his comments have led her to question her self-worth.

Now, she’s wondering why he pursued her if he’s so critical of her body, and if her self-esteem can ever recover after being made to feel unattractive.

Was she wrong to stay in a relationship where she felt judged, or is it just a matter of him not understanding how damaging his actions are? Keep reading to find out how others feel about this troubling dynamic.

A woman’s boyfriend constantly criticizes her appearance and pushes her to lose weight, damaging her self-esteem

In relationships, feeling seen and valued for who you are isn’t just important, it’s essential. When someone you care about repeatedly comments on your appearance in a negative way, it chips away at your confidence and sense of self.

That’s exactly what happened to the OP. She began her relationship feeling secure in her body, but over time her boyfriend’s constant criticisms, “advice,” and comparisons to other women left her ashamed and questioning her worth. What started as pursuit and attention transformed into control and emotional harm.

At its heart, this situation isn’t about weight or food choices. It’s about how one partner’s behavior affects the other’s sense of self. The boyfriend’s comments, telling her she’s “average,” comparing her unfavorably to other women, and pushing strict eating and workout plans, significantly undermined her confidence.

Even though he framed it as wanting her to “stand out” or “be confident,” the effect was the opposite. His focus on her body made her feel as though her worth depended on his approval rather than on who she is.

Experts on relationships and body image consistently show that repeated comments or judgments about a partner’s weight can contribute to anxiety, lower self‑esteem, and body dissatisfaction.

According to Psychology Today, critical comments about weight or appearance, even when intended as “motivation”, can lead to “body image disturbance and emotional distress,” especially in intimate relationships where trust and acceptance are expected.

Another expert perspective from Verywell Mind emphasizes that emotional abuse often involves patterns of degrading remarks, control, and conditional approval.

The article explains that when someone ties love or approval to meeting specific expectations, especially related to appearance, it can deeply erode self‑worth and foster dependency on the abuser’s judgment.

When the OP’s boyfriend showed pictures of other women and said the OP needed to lose weight to “be like that,” it wasn’t encouragement; it was comparison and judgment.

Comparisons like this, especially when repeated, tell the partner that they are not enough just as they are. That kind of dynamic undercuts confidence and creates insecurity where there wasn’t necessarily insecurity before.

The OP’s realization that her boyfriend’s behavior was harmful, and her decision to break up, is an important step toward healing. Recognizing that someone’s love shouldn’t be conditional on changing your body or appearance is crucial. True emotional support comes from acceptance, encouragement, and respect, not criticism and control.

For anyone who’s experienced similar treatment, rebuilding self‑esteem starts with affirming that your worth isn’t defined by someone else’s standards.

Reconnecting with supportive friends, focusing on personal strengths and interests, and, if needed, talking with a counselor can all help restore confidence. True connection shouldn’t make you feel ashamed of your body; it should make you feel valued for who you already are.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

This group of Redditors strongly urged the user to break up with their abusive partner, pointing out that the boyfriend is manipulating and emotionally damaging them

These commenters suggested that the boyfriend’s actions are about control and manipulation, and that the user should leave him

This group advised the user to end the relationship quickly, with some offering specific safety advice

While the boyfriend might claim that he is “helping” the woman, his behavior is a classic case of emotional manipulation. His constant criticism and comparisons are designed to make her feel inadequate and dependent on him for validation.

The best course of action is to break free from this toxic relationship, focus on self-love, and surround herself with people who support and respect her. What do you think? Should she leave him, or is there any hope for change in this relationship?