When it comes to relationships, personal hygiene can be one of those topics that no one really wants to bring up, but sometimes it’s absolutely necessary. One Redditor found herself in a dilemma when she discovered her boyfriend wasn’t properly washing himself, particularly in a rather crucial area. After bringing it up to him, he brushed it off, and now she’s questioning whether this is a dealbreaker for her.
Is her desire for basic hygiene too much to ask, or is she overreacting to something that might not be as serious as it seems? Keep reading to see how this hygiene issue is creating tension in their relationship and whether it’s a valid reason to break up.
Her boyfriend’s refusal to wash his b__t in the shower has left her questioning if she should end the relationship over hygiene
We’ve all been in relationships where small things start to bug us, but when do those small things become deal-breakers? This Reddit post explores a situation that might seem trivial to some, but for the OP, it’s causing real discomfort and forcing them to question the future of their relationship.
The emotional core here revolves around hygiene, something that can seem like a personal preference, but for many, it’s also an indicator of how much someone cares for themselves and their partner.
In this case, the OP noticed something that many might consider basic: personal cleanliness. Hygiene is not just about physical health; it’s also tied to self-respect and how we show care for others. When the OP pointed out to her boyfriend that his lack of hygiene could cause discomfort for her, it wasn’t just about the cleanliness issue itself, but the emotional distance that started to form as a result.
For the OP, this situation is about trust, communication, and feeling valued, all of which hinge on a partner’s willingness to meet certain basic standards of care.
From a psychological perspective, habits like hygiene are often learned during childhood. If a person’s parents didn’t emphasize certain behaviors, it might not even occur to them that it’s a problem. This seems to be the case with the boyfriend, his hesitation to use his hands to wash himself might stem from discomfort or unfamiliarity.
However, it also signals a lack of willingness to make changes for the sake of a relationship, which can be troubling.
According to Dr. Laura Berman, a relationship therapist, “When partners communicate about discomfort and the other doesn’t respond, it can create resentment over time. Basic self-care can be seen as a form of self-respect, and when one partner doesn’t demonstrate that, it might signal deeper emotional or relational issues.”
The OP’s frustration is understandable; hygiene isn’t just about cleanliness; it’s a way of showing respect for oneself and others. If the boyfriend isn’t willing to make this change, it might feel like a breach of that mutual respect. However, the boyfriend’s reluctance might not be a reflection of his feelings toward the OP, but rather a deeper issue with his own comfort and self-awareness.
In the end, it’s up to the OP to decide whether this issue is something they can live with or if it’s a deal-breaker. It’s a question of boundaries and self-respect. But it also begs the question: can one person’s hesitation to change outweigh all the good aspects of the relationship?
Would it be worth trying to find a compromise, or is this just too fundamental an issue to overlook? What do you think? Is it too harsh to consider breaking up over hygiene, or is it a valid reason to rethink the relationship?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
This group roasted the idea of dating someone with poor hygiene, especially regarding basic cleanliness
![[Reddit User] − NTA. If a grown man can’t clean his ass he probably isn’t wiping it well either. It’s a dealbreaker for me.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/wp-editor-1762490917145-1.webp "Woman Considers Breaking Up With Boyfriend Over His Refusal To Wash His B**t")
These commenters emphasized hygiene as a major dealbreaker and the potential consequences of staying with someone who neglects it
This group reacted with disbelief and humor at the idea of someone being “too uncomfortable” to wash properly, calling out the absurdity
These users expressed their strong distaste for people who neglect basic hygiene, even suggesting social consequences for non-washers
Can this relationship survive this stinky situation, or is it time to walk away? Do you think she’s overreacting, or is this a valid reason to reconsider the relationship? Share your thoughts below!
