Woman Considers Breaking Up With Chiropractor Boyfriend Because He Is Anti-Vax

A woman reached a painful turning point with her on-and-off boyfriend of three years when he revealed he would not vaccinate their future children and expected her to leave her fulfilling job to homeschool them in California where schools demand vaccinations. She cherishes her career and the independence it gives her as a future mother.

His position, rooted in his work as a chiropractor and doubts about mainstream medicine, stood out as a serious warning sign, particularly after he accepted unproven claims about immigrants in Ohio. She now wonders whether these opposing beliefs about health, schooling, and family responsibilities form an impossible divide or remain something they could somehow overcome.

Woman debates breaking up with anti-vax chiropractor boyfriend over future kids’ vaccination and homeschooling demands.

Core to the issue is a clash over child-rearing fundamentals. One partner sees vaccines as essential for public and personal health, while the other rejects them outright, linking it to broader distrust in conventional medicine.

This isn’t just theoretical. California law requires vaccinations for school attendance (with limited exemptions), forcing practical choices like homeschooling that neither may fully embrace.

The expectation that she pause her five-plus years at a job she adores highlights deeper assumptions about gender roles and financial dynamics, even if he earns more. Many relationships hit turbulence when core values on safety, autonomy, and lifestyle diverge this sharply.

Broadening out, vaccine-related disagreements reflect larger tensions in family dynamics and decision-making. A study on cohabiting couples found that about 16% had discordant COVID-19 vaccination status, showing how even one issue can create rifts that extend to long-term planning like parenting.

When such views collide early, before kids arrive, it often signals challenges ahead in navigating school, health choices, and daily life. Homeschooling as a workaround adds another layer, as it demands significant time and lifestyle shifts that not everyone is willing or able to make.

As family law attorney Hillary Moonay noted in discussing similar custody battles: “Parents have much stronger feelings about it than they do over a lot of other custody issues.” This intensity often escalates post-separation, turning what starts as a dating disagreement into prolonged legal stress.

In the Redditor’s case, the preemptive nature of the talk allows her to weigh options now rather than later, avoiding scenarios where courts might later intervene based on pediatric advice or the child’s best interests.

Neutral paths forward include open, fact-based conversations with shared resources like pediatricians or neutral mediators, though success depends on mutual willingness.

Broader advice from experts emphasizes discussing values early in relationships and prioritizing children’s well-being over rigid ideologies. If core visions for family life remain incompatible. Recognizing it sooner prevents greater heartache.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some users say the couple has irreconcilable differences over vaccines, child-rearing, and core values, so they should break up immediately.

Some people strongly urge the OP to leave the relationship right away, calling the boyfriend an idiot, grifter, or undesirable due to his beliefs.

Do you think the Redditor’s concerns about career, schooling, and health choices justify walking away, or could compromise bridge the gap? How would you handle mismatched visions on raising children in your own relationships? Share your hot takes below!