An expectant mother, already handling job loss and freelance work ahead of their February baby, faces turmoil as her partner grows miserable in his stable role and threatens to quit in January unless demands are met. He plans to move them in with his parents while starting a website design venture, leaving her to cover expenses on her slim earnings right after childbirth.
She firmly refuses, declaring she’ll take the baby to her own parents alone if he proceeds without security. His relatives and friends label her ungrateful, citing his COVID-era support during her non-essential layoff, yet she stresses the vast difference: that was unforeseen crisis in simpler times, not a chosen risk amid impending parenthood and tough markets.
A pregnant woman warns her fiancé she’ll leave with their newborn if he quits his job without a secure plan.
The core issue boils down to timing and responsibility: one partner’s job misery versus the massive life shift of welcoming a newborn. The fiancé sees himself as indispensable and figures the company will cave or he’ll pivot to freelancing. But the Redditor highlights the harsh reality: quitting voluntarily dumps financial pressure on a pregnant partner already stretched thin in a tough job market.
Opposing views clash hard here. His side frames it as payback for past support during COVID, when life was simpler in cheaper city, with no baby and no fancy car. Yet commenters nail the key distinction: supporting someone through unavoidable setbacks differs vastly from backing a deliberate choice that risks stability.
Financial irresponsibility, especially with a child incoming, isn’t just about money, it’s about trust and shared priorities. Broadening out, this taps into bigger family dynamics around new parenthood.
In the US, where paid maternity leave isn’t federally mandated, many new moms face pressure to return quickly. Studies show more than 25% go back within two months, and about 10% in four weeks or less, often due to financial necessity.
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends ongoing postpartum care up to 12 weeks, yet average leave hovers around 10 weeks total, often unpaid or partially covered. This leaves families vulnerable, amplifying stress when one partner gambles on quitting.
Financial expert Jackie Ruppel, SVP at Johnson Financial Group, emphasizes proactive planning: “Having a child makes an emergency fund even more critical. Should you or your partner lose or leave your job, or need to take a longer leave than planned, an emergency fund will provide peace of mind.” This rings true here. Without buffers, voluntary job changes can spiral into resentment and instability.
Neutral advice? Couples facing this should prioritize open talks about realistic timelines, backup plans, and shared budgets before big moves. Building an emergency fund, aiming for 3-6 months’ expenses, more with kids, and exploring job options together could ease tension.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Some people say NTA because the fiancé’s plan to quit his job before the baby arrives is financially irresponsible.
Some people advise the pregnant woman to prioritize her and the baby’s well-being by leaving the fiancé.
Some people emphasize that supporting a partner through unavoidable hardship differs from enabling a deliberate, risky choice like quitting without a backup plan near the birth.
In the end, this saga underscores how quickly financial choices can test a partnership when a baby’s involved. The Redditor’s line in the sand – leave if he quits without safeguards – feels like self-preservation amid vulnerability.
Do you think her ultimatum was fair given the lifelong stakes for mom and baby, or did she overplay her hand? How would you juggle sibling-like support with real responsibilities here? Drop your hot takes below!
