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Woman Kicks Husband Out Of Delivery Room After He Brings His Mom Instead Of Hers

by Leona Pham
December 31, 2025
in Social Issues

There are moments when logic simply cannot compete with raw emotion, and childbirth is often one of them. When pain, fear, and anticipation peak at the same time, even strong relationships can be tested in unexpected ways.

The original poster found herself overwhelmed during labor and suddenly desperate for her mother’s comfort. She trusted her husband to make that happen, but when he returned, he brought someone else instead. The emotional fallout was immediate and intense, involving hospital staff, family dynamics, and a moment she can never redo.

In the aftermath, both she and her husband feel disappointed, embarrassed, and betrayed in different ways. With hindsight setting in, she is now questioning whether her reaction was understandable under the circumstances or whether it unfairly punished the wrong person. Keep reading to see how this delivery room conflict sparked a lasting debate.

A woman in labor asks for her mother, but her husband returns with someone else

Woman Kicks Husband Out Of Delivery Room After He Brings His Mom Instead Of Hers
not the actual photo

'AITA for having my husband out of the delivery room when he brought his mother instead of mine?'

This happened a few weeks ago when I delivered my son. We had an agreement before that my husband would be by my side during the delivery.

When the moment comes, I suddenly had a change of mind and started to miss my mother desperately as if I would never see her again.

I knew she had lessons that day but wanted her by my side, so I asked my husband to call and drive her here.

When my husband came back maybe an hour later, he came back with his mother, not mine.

He explained that my mother was in a middle of a lecture and he was afraid that they could not make it in time

before she sums it up, so he drove his own mother who lived nearer instead.

I got angry and started wailing uncontrollably, crying for my mother like a child.

The nurses ended up removing him and I had no family beside me during the whole unpleasant process.

I continued to cry even after seeing my son and only stopped when my mother finally arrived much later.

According to her my husband did not call her, instead left her a message and she only saw it after dismissal.

Now thinking back that was extremely embarrassing and I had no idea how I lost it like that.

I feel sorry that he was not able to witness the process because of my last minute change of mind

(it was supposed to be just me and him) and he expressed his disappointment too.

However, I am also angry that he did not bother to make an effort to let me see my mother when I felt I needed her and instead took this...

I guess both of us feel betrayed to some extend, but which one of us is the AH? I want to know.

Intense emotional reactions often arise not from careful thought, but from moments when the body and mind are under extreme strain. Childbirth, one of life’s most physically and emotionally demanding experiences, can heighten fear, vulnerability, and the need for comfort beyond what anyone anticipates.

In this situation, the original poster was not simply reacting to her husband bringing the “wrong” person into the delivery room.

She was processing a sudden wave of vulnerability during labor, which triggered a longing for familiar emotional support. When her husband returned with his own mother instead of the one she asked for, her emotional reserves overflowed.

Her tears, and the confrontation that followed, reflected more than embarrassment; they revealed the profound impact that unmet expectations and perceived lack of attunement can have during moments that are deeply personal and intense.

A fresh perspective on her response comes from understanding how emotional support affects birth experiences. Research has shown that the presence of a chosen support person during labor significantly influences a birthing person’s comfort, sense of control, and satisfaction with the birth process.

Studies indicate that when women have the emotional presence of someone they trust, it enhances their perception of safety and can even reduce stress and pain during labor, while a lack of support can be experienced as isolation or abandonment.

This highlights that it’s not just physical presence, but emotional resonance and alignment with the person’s needs that matter in such a vulnerable moment

Interpreting this within the context of the Reddit story sheds light on why both partners feel hurt. The OP’s emotional plea for her mother was not simply nostalgia but a deep-rooted need for familiarity and reassurance at a time when her body and emotions were in overdrive.

Her husband’s decision to bring his own mother, practical from his perspective but misaligned with her emotional state, inadvertently deepened her feelings of being misunderstood. Neither intention was malicious; rather, each reflected different coping mechanisms under extreme stress.

Understanding emotional support during childbirth also provides insight into how couples might handle similarly charged moments in the future. Rather than viewing the incident solely as a failure or betrayal, it may help to see it as a mismatch of emotional needs and expectations under pressure.

A useful path forward could involve talking through each person’s emotional triggers and support preferences long before intense moments arise. When parents understand each other’s emotional language, even the most emotionally taxing moments can become opportunities for connection rather than division.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These commenters backed OP, stressing that labor pain justifies emotional reactions

anonbiotch01 − NTA - Hun, you were in LABOR. Of course your feelings are gonna be amplified.

I would've reacted the same as you if my husband brought his mom instead of mine. Also, congratulations on your newborn :)

ZelGalande − NTA - you were in labor and under a lot of stress. It sounds like he did the bare minimum to try to reach your mom.

Also you didn't directly make him leave, the nurse did for the sake of your stress levels which was reasonable.

At that point assuming there was now no longer time for him to go back for your mom and return in time,

having your husband there would only make your stress levels worse because you were upset

At that point assuming there was now no longer time for him to go back for your mom and return in time,

having your husband there would only make your stress levels worse because you were upset

LegoCaltrops − NTA. He (and you) both need to remember that while he was undoubtedly worried about you & feeling helpless, you were also, as well as in enormous amounts...

You were the patient. Until that baby is born, your needs come first. His needs need to take a back seat.

It sounds like you & he need to have a very honest conversation about trust & support, otherwise you're potentially setting off down a path of

not being able to trust him to put your (& the baby's) needs first, because he'll always be running to his mummy.

Been there, done that. It took me far too long to have the honest conversation.

We came a hair's breadth away from divorce. And the relationship with my PILs is irrevocably damaged.

This group roasted the husband for treating his mom as a replacement support

Cynderaquil − NTA. Your husband is though. Yeah, because MIL is a great substitute for a lady, who is asking for her mother, going into child birth.

It’s not like she needs the woman who raised her over the person who gained title “mother” by law to be there. /s

onlymejustt − NTA. My mom is my best friend and when I need her, I need her, and she listens. Vice versa.

My MIL is NOT a substitute for my mom and never will be. I would be absolutely livid. That was supposed to be special and he could’ve been more considerate...

I understand his worrying BUT you were having a whole ass baby. He should’ve gotten over it and gotten your mom.

MarsNirgal − NTA I was ready to say N-AH or even Y-TA if he had made a honest effort to reach your mom and being unable to get her had...

his own mom as the only source of support he could gather, but the thing is he didn't do that.

These users leaned NAH or soft ESH, urging empathy for both partners

QuitaQuites − INFO: you said he left her a message, which seems like he would have to call to do that?

NAH it sounds like he tried and didn’t know what to do in terms of him picking what he perhaps thought was the next best thing.

Then you were upset and panicked and so it’s not your fault he was removed, you were also o__rwhelmed by the moment.

Shanesaurus − NAH. You, for obvious reasons. I can't help but feel for your husband a little bit. In that situation, he was excited as well.

He would have been looking forward to supporting you and being with you through this process.

When you changed your mind last minute and asked for your mum, I imagine he felt a little deflated and useless, maybe like he's insufficient.

He shouldnt have brought his mother but he wouldn't have been thinking clearly.

I would cut him some slack and move past this and enjoy your newborn. Congrats to you both!

ridiculousblastoff − Soft ESH. (I thought about N. AH, but I think everyone is owed an apology here, rather than that everyone should move on).

Sometimes, our behaviour can be understandable during circumstances, but that doesn't mean the behaviour wasn't hurtful or irrational.

I firmly believe in acting with grace, and acting in good faith towards the people you care about. You were in labour, which is obviously a difficult moment.

Reacting wildly out of character during labour happens sometimes, and someone can't fault you for the behaviour in the moment.

Afterwards, however, you can look back and realise your behaviour could have been really hurtful to your husband.

He is your life partner, the father of your baby, and it's a special moment for him too that you didn't want him to see (and, due to circumstances, he...

I do think you should look back on that and, while realising you're allowed some leeway there, understand that this was a difficult moment

for your husband that you escalated in behaviour that, while understandable, wasn't entirely fair.

I think recognising that and apologising to your husband in other words, acting in good faith, understanding his side, and not getting caught up

in "wanting to be right" would be not only kind, but do a lot towards managing his emotional response.

Likewise, your husband owes you an apology as well. I understand his behaviour, too.

He wasn't the one in labour, but fathers can and often do become emotionally compromised, panicky, and not entirely "rational" or "logical" during birth.

He might not be going through what you were going through, but it was a big moment too, and the woman he loved was obviously in distress and y'know, pain.

He didn't call your mother, which he should have, but if we're realistic we all know her phone was probably on silent during a lecture, and

she wouldn't have called him back until after dismissal anyway. In his panicked state, he did what made sense and made fair effort.

Understanding that your mother would take a while, he did what he thought might be the next best thing, and call his own mother.

He didn't know why you suddenly wanted something different, but he couldn't give it to you, and he tried finding an alternative.

Like you, he should recognize his behaviour is understandable in light of the circumstances, but that upon looking back, an apology might be warranted.

He shouldn't get caught up in "being right" either, and should recognize that his efforts were not exactly above and beyond, and that he can and should apologise for that.

These Redditors criticized OP, saying the husband was unfairly shut out

buckminster_fully − YTA - It’s interesting to read the range of responses. Former OB nurse, so I’ll admit to these biases.

I’ve been subjected and witnessed SO’s being subjected to a wide range of bad behavior from delivering mothers, so pregnancy isn’t a pass for ladies for me.

Are you going through something terrifying, beautiful, and highly emotional? Absolutely!

I think you made a demand that cut him out of this beautiful moment that he did attempt to fulfill.

He didn’t have much time to fulfill it, so I don’t agree with those saying he didn’t try hard enough. His child is in the process of being born!

That’s something you don’t want to miss. He probably rushed through trying to meet your request but wanted to be back in time for baby’s arrival.

Look, it happened, but it’s not something to get incredibly hung up on either. Take care and congratulations.

Wonderwoman2707 − YTA. He tried to get your mum, and couldn’t so he tried to bring some sort of backup.

You’re not the A H for how you behaved during labour, because you obviously had no control, but you are the A H to still hold a grudge.

He missed his child being born and you’re mad at him? I’d feel overwhelming guilt if I made my husband miss his child being born, whether it was your fault...

SanctimoniousMonk − YTA You robbed your husband of a once in a life time event due simply to poor planning.

Your mother is also an AH for not planning to be there and being in a lecture in the middle of your delivery.

I assume your labor didn’t start a few minutes after her lecture, but rather hours earlier? She could’ve canceled it and been there.

Your husband was probably incredibly nervous and not thinking 100% straight either.

He made a decision and it was the wrong one, but he should’ve never been put in that situation.

This group questioned logistics and felt key details were missing

MisterSouvlaki − Am I the only one that finds it odd that OP demanded that SO leaves the hospital, finds the MIL and drives her back to the hospital,

instead of doing the rational thing of calling the MIL to get a cab and get there, while he stays with his wife?

OP was basically telling him that she does not consider him a life partner but a privileged errand boy.

NAH because I understand that in a stressful situation such as this one, they both made poor calls.

ferrous_second_vowel − There's a lot of missing INFO here, and I'm surprised (and saddened) that people are so willing to deem OP's husband an AH without it.

According to \[OP's mother\] my husband did not call her, instead left her a message This is contradictory.

Which is it? Did he leave her a message (which means he called)? Or did he not?

Is it possible that he tried to reach your mother, couldn't, then went with what he thought was the next best option?

When my husband came back maybe an hour later, he came back with his mother, not mine Your husband's mother was closer,

and it still took him an hour to bring her to the hospital? How far away was your mother?

Was she far enough that, if he went and got her, he could have missed the birth of his child, and you would have had no one there with you...

my mother was in a middle of a lecture Is this true?

If so, would it have been possible/feasible for your husband to burst into the room during lecture unannounced (since they didn't talk by phone),

tell her to end her it immediately, then drive her back to the hospital without her getting in trouble or losing her job? When my husband came back Are you...

Do you know for certain that he didn't just call his mother, and she was the one who answered, and was able to drive herself to the hospital?

Full disclosure, I'm an expectant father in the US. Where I live, once I get to the hospital, because of the pandemic, I'm not allowed to leave; if I do,...

Are there similar rules where you live? There's also a very strict limit to what people are allowed into the hospital to be with you. Were both of your mothers...

As it stands with how you've laid out the situation, both you and your husband did things in a high-stress moment that, in hindsight, you regret.

That would make me lean towards a light E S H/N A H, worth nothing more than apologies to each other. But the answers to these questions could sway that.

This commenter agreed OP deserved grace due to childbirth stress

[Reddit User] − NAH- I feel like you are allowed to go crazy while giving birth

This story struck a chord because it sits in the gray space between emotional survival and lasting consequence. Many readers agreed that laboring patients deserve unquestioned support, while others couldn’t ignore the heartbreak of a parent missing a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

Was the husband’s choice a misguided attempt to help or a failure to truly listen? And should moments of extreme vulnerability come with permanent forgiveness?

Where would you draw the line in a situation like this? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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