Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t making a change, it’s realizing that no matter how much you try, it still isn’t enough for someone else. That kind of pressure can slowly wear you down in ways that aren’t always visible at first.
That’s what this young woman is dealing with after already losing a significant amount of weight. What began as an effort to improve herself has turned into a constant cycle of criticism from her boyfriend, who keeps pushing her to go further.
Despite her progress, his expectations don’t seem to stop, leaving her feeling confused, hurt, and unsure of where to draw the line. Scroll down to see why this situation has people deeply concerned.
A young woman worries as her boyfriend pressures her to lose more weight despite already being thin
Sometimes, love can become dangerous when one person’s approval starts feeling more important than another person’s health. The most painful part is that the person being harmed may still try to explain, soften, and prove themselves worthy of basic kindness.
In this situation, the 22-year-old woman is not simply facing a boyfriend with a preference. She is living with someone who repeatedly calls her “fat” after she has already lost 30 pounds and reached 100 pounds at 5 feet tall. That matters.
Using the CDC adult BMI formula, 100 pounds at 5 feet is about a 19.5 BMI, which falls within the CDC’s “healthy weight” range of 18.5 to under 25. His stated target of 70 to 80 pounds would place her far below the underweight cutoff of 18.5, which makes his demand alarming, not romantic, honest, or health-focused.
A fresh perspective here is that this may not be about attraction at all. It may be about control. Many readers may focus on the number on the scale, but the deeper issue is that he keeps moving the goalpost. She lost weight, changed her diet, exercised daily, and still did not receive reassurance.
That pattern can trap someone in a psychological loop: “Maybe if I shrink a little more, I will finally be loved properly.” It is a heartbreaking illusion because the problem is not her body. The problem is his cruelty.
Samantha DeCaro, PsyD, director of clinical outreach and education at The Renfrew Center, explains that comments implying a partner’s body needs to be “fixed” count as body shaming, and this behavior may be classified as emotional abuse. She also notes that genuine concern for health should not focus on manipulating someone’s body size or shape.
The National Eating Disorders Association, in a page reviewed by Kim Dennis, MD, lists warning signs that include preoccupation with weight loss, food, calories, dieting, dramatic weight loss, and excessive rigid exercise despite strain or injury.
That expert insight fits this story closely. The woman has already cut out foods, jogs for at least an hour daily, feels afraid that losing more may be unsafe, and is still being pressured by the person who should care about her well-being. His comments are not neutral feedback. They are shaping her behavior, self-image, and sense of safety inside the relationship.
The realistic solution is not to convince him that she is thin enough. A person demanding an unsafe weight does not need a better explanation. She needs outside support, medical reassurance, and a safe plan to protect herself. Trusted friends, family, a doctor, or a therapist could help her separate love from coercion before his words cause more damage.
At its core, this story is not about weight loss. It is about a young woman being taught to distrust her own body, and the most compassionate answer is to help her trust herself again.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
These Redditors called the relationship abusive and urged OP to leave
![[Reddit User] − I try not to say this often but you should probably get out of that relationship. That's incredibly toxic and manipulative.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/wp-editor-1777865245568-1.webp "Woman Loses 30lbs, Boyfriend Still Calls Her Fat—Now He Wants Her Down To 70lbs")
These users suggested he’s projecting insecurities or manipulating OP’s self-worth
These commenters joked about “losing weight” by dumping him
![[Reddit User] − If you wanna lose weight, i say : lose the boyfriend. You'll feel better then ;)](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/wp-editor-1777865087221-4.webp "Woman Loses 30lbs, Boyfriend Still Calls Her Fat—Now He Wants Her Down To 70lbs")
These folks shared experiences and stressed healthy weight over his demands
Sometimes the biggest warning signs don’t come all at once. They build quietly.
A comment here, a standard there, a goal that keeps shifting just out of reach. Before long, what felt like love starts to feel like pressure.
She’s already done more than enough. The real question now isn’t how to meet his expectations. It’s whether those expectations should matter at all.
If someone asks you to become less of yourself just to be loved, is that love worth holding onto?
