Woman Refuses to Eat In-Laws’ Food After Repeated Food Poisoning

For a person with severe food allergies, every shared meal is a risk assessment. For one woman, visiting her in-laws has become a guaranteed trip to the bathroom, thanks to their repeated failure to accommodate her severe onion allergy.

Despite her allergy being known for over a year, her in-laws repeatedly use contaminated utensils and hidden ingredients, causing her severe illness. When she finally drew a boundary and told her husband she wouldn’t eat their food anymore, his response was shocking: he accused her of “overreacting” and “overthinking.”

Now, she is considering refusing their food entirely, even if it causes a family rift.

Now, read the full story:

The OP is not being a baby; she is dealing with a serious health threat that her in-laws are ignoring and her husband is enabling. An onion allergy, especially when combined with IBS, can lead to dangerous dehydration and severe gastrointestinal distress.

The in-laws’ behavior has moved past simple mistakes into willful negligence. They actively shooed her out of the kitchen to hide their cross-contamination and then joked about it. They are prioritizing their desire to “host” and control the meal over her physical safety.

The biggest problem here is the husband. His refusal to stand up for her and his dismissal of her symptoms (“overthinking,” “over reacting”) shows a profound lack of care and prioritization. He is more concerned with keeping the peace with his parents than with his wife’s health.

The husband is exhibiting classic signs of enabling behavior, placing his wife in a continuous cycle of harm to avoid confrontation with his parents. The in-laws are also violating a critical boundary: they refuse to let her cook for herself, insisting she eat their food, which they know makes her sick.

When a partner consistently minimizes a known, serious health issue, it constitutes a failure of support. As licensed therapist Jor-El Caraballo explains, “A partner should be your primary advocate. When they downplay your pain to appease their family, they are prioritizing their comfort over your well-being, which erodes trust and safety.”  

The OP is not asking for a major lifestyle change; she is asking for basic food safety. Given the severity of her reaction, she is considering urgent care for dehydration, her refusal to eat their food is not an overreaction, but a necessary act of self-prespreservation.

Check out how the community responded:

The entire community ruled NTA, directing their anger primarily at the husband for his enabling behavior and disregard for her health.

Redditors strongly affirmed that she must prioritize her health and bring her own food, regardless of the in-laws’ feelings.

Users offered practical advice on how to handle the inevitable confrontation when she brings her own meal.

The OP needs to stop seeking validation for her boundaries and start enforcing them immediately. Her health is at risk, and her husband’s enabling behavior is a serious threat to their marriage. She must bring her own food, and if her husband or in-laws object, she must make it clear that their feelings are less important than her ability to stay hydrated and healthy.

Should she confront her husband about his lack of support, or simply refuse the food and let him deal with his parents’ reaction?