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Woman Refuses To Hand Over Engagement Ring After Fiancé’s Family Tries To Reclaim It

by Annie Nguyen
December 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Some objects carry far more meaning than their price tag, and for this woman, her engagement ring represents love, loss, and survival. After her fiancé died suddenly, his family accused her of lying, sued her, and demanded the ring, only to lose in court when she proved it was never an heirloom.

Now, years later, his sister has resurfaced with a new request, insisting the ring belongs with her future marriage. When the woman refused, friends began calling her selfish and cruel, leaving her questioning everything she fought for.

Is she wrong for protecting the last tangible reminder of her fiancé, or are others crossing an unforgivable line? Read on to see where people land on this emotional conflict.

After her fiancé dies, his family demands the engagement ring she refuses to return

Woman Refuses To Hand Over Engagement Ring After Fiancé’s Family Tries To Reclaim It
not the actual photo

'AITA for not giving my engagement ring to dead fiancé family?'

Dead fiancé name “John” & I’ll start at the beginning, about 4yrs ago.

I was engaged to John, after dating for 4yrs. When he proposed, the ring he used was 2 sizes too big.

We went to the store, that he bought it from (2 weeks before proposing) & he kept the receipt.

Gotten the right size & kept same style.

We did plan to have to wedding, after 3yrs of planning & saving.

10 months after the proposal, John passed away in a car accident. I used the savings for wedding to pay for his funeral.

The day after the funeral, John’s brother came to me asking for the ring.

I asked why, his response was that the ring had been passed down their family for 5 generations.

Told him that was BS, because I have proof of the ring was brought for me, less than a year ago.

We argued for a bit & he then stormed out.

Then I get the calls from john’s family, saying I’m a liar & demanding the ring.

Then I got a letter from their lawyer, in the letter they also demanded that I reimburse them for costs of John’s funeral.

So I got myself a lawyer, showed the proof, about the ring & I paid for the funeral, in court & I won.

I thought that madness was over, until john’s sister recently messaged me.

She & her BF are engaged, but haven’t gotten a ring & she wants John’s ring.

After I said no, she went crazy & messaging non stop demanding.

I have blocked her over & over, but she finds a way around it.

I was having brunch with my friend, my mobile was on the table, a message from sister popped up & my friend saw it.

My friend knows about everything, before sister’s 1st message.

I explained about her messages, friend believes I’m AH & I should give her the ring.

She told my other friends & they are all saying the same things. Now I’m doubting myself. So AITA?

Edit to add: Thank you all for your support. I didn’t expect that this post would have so much attention.

I’ll try to reply to all your comments. I’m adding more info, as requested & to answer the repeated questions.

Extra info about the ring: this ring is part of a company,

that designs jewellery based on movies & mass produce each style in different sizes, this company started after 2000.

When we went to the store to get right size, John asked for ring 1 to be swapped with right size & same style ring 2.

If he did modify ring 1 with any family diamonds, he would have asked for ring 1 to be resized.

After the swap & when telling his parents about the engagement.

I showed them the ring and John told them about where he brought it & about size swap.

Parents never said anything about an heirloom ring & family diamonds.

It was after the funeral is when they started saying their great great great grandparents were the ones

that brought this ring & it’s a heirloom.

Extra info on funeral costs: John’s parents messaged me about not being able to afford the funeral.

My thoughts at the time was the reason they couldn’t afford is

because sister is about to start college & put the wedding fund for good use, because the wedding isn’t gonna happen anymore.

I paid for everything for the funeral, the parents didn’t pay at all.

I guess during my grief/shock of John’s death, might have made me forget that

his family owned most of the business & housing accommodations in town.

It was during court that I found out that he had life insurance, that money went to his parents & it was 2x the cost amount of his funeral.

Extra info about court: when I received their lawyer letter, I thought it might be fake.

But I call my friend (who is a lawyer), I explained the situation to him & asking him to check if this letter is real or fake.

He told me to meet him with the letter and all my documents for the ring & funeral.

He said the letter is real & he will help me. I did thought that after their lawyer see my proof, that be the end of the madness.

But next thing I knew, we are in court. Most of the time I was confused, but I just spoke the truth & showed all my proof.

The judge awarded me to be reimbursed for funeral costs, legal fees & emotional distress.

Reason why John’s sister wants the ring: In her 1st message asking for the ring, she said that John would want her to have it,

it would feel like John is part of her next step in her life & let his spirit know he is not forgotten.

Sister knows that the ring was brought by John, because she was at the engagement party.

At the party, we told everyone how the proposal went & about swapping rings, due to size issue.

I should have mentioned that the ring is LOTR themed & we were planning on LOTR themed wedding, because we met at an LOTR event.

I recall sister telling john to change the ring to Disney theme,

her protests of our theme idea & saying Disney wedding instead, during the engagement party.

to explain why my friends think sister should have the ring.

The friend from brunch, who saw the messages from sister & told the others about this, read sister’s 1st message asking for the ring.

Friend believes these a good valid reasons from sister.

Friend also believes that the ring should actually be used, not stuck in a box somewhere or most likely lost.

I pointed out that I do use the ring, I wore it during engagement, court madness with his family & kept it on for an year after won the case.

Then only wearing the ring on his birthday and anniversary of our 1st meeting, when he proposed & when he died.

Friend called me a sad selfish AH & stormed off.

Next thing I know, my other friends started messaging me about me being an AH & sister should get the ring.

After the sister’s recent messages, I have called my lawyer friend, I sent him screenshots of her messages & we got a meeting this week.

I am also rethinking my friendship with the friends, that says I’m AH & should give the ring to sister.

So after this, I’ll update you all. Thank you very much for your support.

Loss is not just an event, it is a transformative emotional experience that reshapes who you are. When someone loses a partner they planned a life with, every memory becomes significant, every object tied to that person carries meaning, and holding on to what remains can feel like the last tether to a world suddenly irreversibly changed.

Grief isn’t predictable, and its expression varies widely, sometimes for years, especially when that loss is sudden and unshared by others.
Psychology Today

In this story, the dispute over the engagement ring was never about the metal and stone. For the OP, it symbolized her enduring connection to John, the life they envisioned together, and the deep personal loss she continues to carry.

The repeated pressure from his family to turn over the ring, even after legal validation of her ownership, likely reopened emotional wounds instead of allowing space for her grief to unfold naturally.

Importantly, grief does not follow a clear timeline or end simply because others think it should. Becoming defensive or setting firm boundaries is a psychological response to emotional invalidation and intrusion.

For John’s sister, asking for the ring may feel like a way to carry her brother forward, but for the OP, it represented surrendering a deeply personal link to her past love, not a gesture of cruelty.

Psychologists studying bereavement emphasize that grief is deeply individual. Verywell Mind explains that bereavement involves intense emotional responses, such as sadness, anger, and longing, that are shaped by the nature of the relationship and cannot be rushed or judged by others.

The emotional attachment to keepsakes arises because these items help individuals process and regulate feelings connected to loss.

Similarly, grief research highlights that symbolic objects, like jewelry belonging to a deceased partner, can serve as “linking objects” that allow the bereaved to maintain a continuing bond with the deceased, supporting emotional connection and identity integration long after the person has passed.

Interpreting these insights, the OP’s refusal to relinquish the ring was not selfishness; it was psychological self-protection in a context of unresolved grief and repeated pressure. When grief is pushed aside or contested, it can intensify pain rather than heal it.

The legal verdict confirmed what the OP already felt: the ring was hers, both legally and emotionally. Respecting that boundary is essential for her ongoing well-being.

Advice here centers on respecting individual grief processes. Instead of assigning moral rightness to who “deserves” the ring, it helps to acknowledge that objects tied to love and memory cannot be transferred without consent. Emotional healing is not about giving up memories but integrating them in ways that support personal growth over time.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These Redditors urged legal action, saying the family’s behavior is harassment requiring lawyers or restraining orders

YouthNAsia63 − Talk to a lawyer. You are being harassed by the greedy, lying, litigious family of your deceased partner.

None of them deserve a damned thing from you, much less your engagement ring your fiancee bought you.

His sister can get her ring out if a gum-ball machine for all you care.

It is not your problem or responsibility to provide her with jewelery.

NTA And you need better friends, if they are siding with the sister. Your ring was important to you. It is yours-why would you ever lose it?

CaptHarpo − I would have your lawyer send a cease and desist letter to the sister demanding that she stop harassing you.

Sometimes a lawyer letter can be enough to shut people up. NTA

Alarming-Benefit-202 − NTA. It would be a little different if the ring were a family heirloom, but it clearly isn’t.

Perhaps you should get a restraining order, or sue for harassment?

RichSignal7022 − NTA Your fiancé's entire family and your so-called friend are the AHs.

Not sure whether you can get a restraining order for this sort of thing,

but seeing as it's been proved in court that they haven't got a leg to stand on it might be worth looking into it.

This group agreed the ring was a personal engagement gift, not an heirloom, and fully belongs to OP

[Reddit User] − NTA - this ring was purchased for you by your fiance, with the intent that you be the one to wear it.

Although I am sympathetic that John's family is still grieving, this was intended by your fiance to be yours, not his family's heirloom.

Sorry for your loss. I hope your friends will come around to understand why you hold onto this ring.

probablygoinginsan3 − NTA if the ring isn’t a family heirloom and was bought for you I think it’s more than fair that you keep it,

especially as something that means so much. You already paid for his funeral

and I think that was very kind of you as a fiancé and not a wife. Get your lawyer to make them stop harassing you.

I guess the only silver lining here is that you won’t be entangled with these people forever

Thiccc-Pickle9419 − I’m so sorry for your loss :( I’m a little confused about why your friend is siding with john’s sister?

You’ve stated that John had purchased your engagement ring and that you had proof and a receipt from the purchase,

so the ring wasn’t passed down from his family whatsoever. He bought that ring specifically for you.

For the family to harass and berate you about the ring that they have no ownership to is wild to me.

It is also not your fault his sister’s BF didn’t buy her an engagement ring.

It isn’t your responsibility to give her the ring your late fiancé purchased for you???

Idk I think it’s a little weird that she wants your ring and not a ring from her actual bf…

especially since it doesn’t have sentimental value to her.

SnooPets8873 − NTA and what kind of friends are these? I think you need to reassess.

They either don’t know that the ring was purchased for you as an engagement ring,

a romantic gift that has nothing to do with his family, or they aren’t people who care about you.

These commenters backed blocking everyone involved, calling the demands audacious and emotionally abusive

Ok-Profession-9372 − NTA. I'm really sorry they are harassing you.

Block them on everything and if necessary get a restraining order if that's a thing where you live.

You suffered a horrible loss and the engagement ring is yours to remember John by.

Plus you paid for the funeral. These people are next level audacious taking you to court and then continuing to demand the ring.

FactDifficult8132 − NTA. That family has some nerve. So do your so-called friends.

Remember1959 − NTA, tell those wannabe thieves where to go, and tell your ‘friends’ they’re welcome to pony up for her ring.

Then block the lot of them. Sorry for your loss.

This group described the fiancé’s family as manipulative or greedy, exploiting grief to claim what isn’t theirs

celticmusebooks − No one who is an actual friend of yours would suggest you give away your engagement ring.

John's family sounds like a band of grifters. Just keep blocking them-or you could tell them you've sold the ring

and donated the money to John's favorite charity so even if you were so inclined you couldn't give them the ring.

NTA The whole part about the brother contacting you the day after John died

and lying about it being a family heirloom is SUPER creepy-

and then trying to sue you for funeral expenses that you'd already paid is bizzare.

Axel-Grinn − NTA. They’re treating it as though because the wedding didn’t happen,

you aren’t part of the family nor deserving of the ring he gave you and it’s not fair to not ask,

but demand that you give it up when it’s a treasured gift he gave you before passing.

They’re being so low and terrible and I’m sorry you going through that

These users questioned the family’s logic, doubting how they could believe the ring was ever theirs

L00king4AMindAtWork − NTA assuming all of this is true, which I'm going to.

But what I can't figure out is WHY they all have this firm belief that the ring was a family ring.

Sounds like there's existing proof it was from a store.

Are they all completely insane, or is there something that complicated this information?

Like, did he take the diamond from another ring and have it refitted into a storebought ring, for example?

That said, I think you need to make a choice here:

Is the personal value of the ring worth more to you than the peace of never having to deal with these psychos again?

That's something only you can decide.

[Reddit User] − Where is Johns parents in all of this? Why didn’t they or his family pay for his funeral?

What kind of lawyer did his family have that allowed their case against you to escalate to court

proceedings to recoup funeral expenses if they didn’t pay for it and had no proof they paid for it nor proof that the ring was theirs?

Something doesn’t make sense with all that. In regards to your question, obviously NTA.

Keep blocking and if the harassment continues contact the police.

The ring wasn’t an heirloom. It wasn’t communal property. It wasn’t a bargaining chip for grief. It was a gift, given in love, and defended in court.

Do you think the woman was right to keep it despite pressure from family and friends, or should grief change ownership rules? How would you handle friends who turn on you during mourning? Share your thoughts below.

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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