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Woman Refuses To Shelve Dream Vacation To Take In Sister’s Kids Amid Her Partner’s Stroke Crisis

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A pre-vacay phone bomb derails dreams, plunges a 26-year-old into sibling sabotage and tear-soaked begs. This Reddit user’s scarred bond, riddled with party wreckage and ghosted loans, cracks wide when her 30-year-old sister, estranged forever, hits crisis: partner’s stroke, jobs teetering, being unable to afford childcare.

Desperate plea? Bailout by kid-wrangling while she hustles. But tickets locked, PTO sealed, that $18K non-refundable Euro anniversary bash with boyfriend, year-long savings dream, looms unyielding.

Guilt clashes with cruelty cries, boundaries barking back. Heroic or hard-hearted?

Woman refuses to take in sister-in-crisis’ children to go on planned vacation.

Woman Refuses To Shelve Dream Vacation To Take In Sister's Kids Amid Her Partner's Stroke Crisis
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for refusing to take in my sister's kids after her partner had a stroke so that I can go on my planned vacation?'

My sister (30F) called me (26F) yesterday morning to tell me that her partner (45M) had been rushed to the hospital.

She was in hysterics and I stayed on the phone with her until she was able to make it to the hospital.

She works and her partner stays home with the kids (I do believe he's on some sort of disability/unemployment benefit though). Together they have three kids who are 7, 5,...

Here's some background on me and my sister. We had actually not spoken for almost an entire year before her most recent call to me.

We have a really strained relationship starting from our childhood, which was exacerbated by our parents.

I'll be honest in saying that my parents always favored me and labeled my sister as a "problem child."

Since her teens, she's been involved with heavy drug use and partying. She graduated high school, but dropped out of community college.

Our strict, traditional Asian parents shunned her from their lives after she dropped out of college.

They effectively disowned her and pretend that they never had an older daughter.

My parents haven't spoken a word to her in almost a decade and they have never met their grandchildren.

For the last decade, I've tried to maintain a positive relationship with my sister, but she's betrayed my trust too many times to count.

Borrowing money and never returning it, stealing my items and pawning/selling them, bringing me into unnecessary drama in her life, etc.

To be honest, I've been trying to distance myself from her for the last 3-4 years since she's caused me nothing but pain, stress, and suffering.

Then last night, she called me again to let me know that her partner had suffered a severe stroke and had emergency surgery.

The doctors say they are still very unsure of his prognosis. She then begged me to take in her children for the time being,

saying how she can't afford any childcare and that she'll lose both her jobs if she's forced to stay with the children.

Now here's the thing, me and my boyfriend's five-year anniversary is coming up.

We've already bought tickets, requested PTO, and made accommodations for a two-week trip to Europe starting from this Friday.

The total trip, including airfare, costed us $18,000, most of which is non-refundable.

I told my sister I'd call her back and let her know after I spoke with my boyfriend. He said it was my choice completely.

I decided that I wanted to go on our anniversary trip, which I had been looking forward to for a full year.

I called my sister back and told her that I couldn't because of our trip. She started sobbing over the phone and lashed out at me, calling me cruel and...

She said that we could afford to just rebook our vacation and we didn't need that money back, but she was going to lose her job and her children if...

It was a really tough conversation, but I stuck with my decision. It's been almost a day since our call and I won't lie, I do feel a lot of...

Family emergencies crashing into milestone moments? It’s like a sitcom episode scripted by Murphy’s Law, where the laugh track feels all too real.

Our protagonist’s refusal to upend her life isn’t just about a fancy trip. It’s a culmination of decade-long wounds from a sister who’s repeatedly crossed lines. Think pawned belongings, ghosted debts, and drama that’d exhaust a reality TV producer.

Diving deeper, the original post paints a vivid picture of fractured roots. Strict traditional Asian parents disowned the sister a decade ago for ditching college, erasing her and the grandkids from family lore while favoritism showered the younger sibling.

Attempts at bridge-building are met with more heartbreak, leading to a year of radio silence before this crisis call.

The stroke’s a tragedy, but the ask feels like dumping lifetime consequences at a stranger’s door.

Opposing views might cry “family first,” arguing blood ties demand sacrifice, especially for innocent kids. Yet, motivations reveal a pattern: why now, after burning bridges?

Parental favoritism sows lifelong rifts, even when children have grown up. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association notes that perceived parental favoritism correlates with higher rates of sibling estrangement and mental health struggles, affecting 40% of adults in uneven families.

Experts like Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist specializing in family estrangement, weigh in: “Estranged siblings often face ‘asymmetrical obligations,’ where one party expects rescue without reciprocity, perpetuating resentment”.

In our Redditor’s case, Coleman’s insight underscores how past betrayals erode the “sisterly duty” tank to empty, making demands feel manipulative rather than mutual.

Boundaries are not selfish, they’re survival. Instead of full immersion, explore compromises like chipping in for short-term childcare (cheaper than $18K!) or linking sis to hospital social workers for aid programs.

There are many offer emergency funds for disabilities or strokes via Medicaid expansions. Even directing to resources like Child Care Resource and Referral agencies could bridge the gap without personal burnout.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Many users claim that the sister’s past bad behavior means no obligation to help with the kids.

[Reddit User] − NTA- normally in this situation, you would be the bad guy. However, with her not talking to you for a year,

plus all the past history of drugs, stealing, and drama, I understand the decision you made.

She's trying to drop all the consequences of her poor life decisions in your lap, and it's just not fair.

I understand the guilt, but she wore you out and used up whatever sisterly feeling you had for her with all her b__lshit.

Totally overused phrase, but particularly apt here: you can't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

burnpsy − This is basically asking if you should waste $18,000 and two weeks of PTO to help someone who's stolen from you in the past.

The answer is no. NTA While the emergency isn't your sister's fault, burning her bridge with you certainly was.

She likely has other people who she could ask for help. And even if you wanted to assist, it would be more effective to pay for a babysitter than to...

It's not like being a blood relation changes anything since from what you're saying you'd be basically a stranger to the kids anyway. No different from just hiring an actual...

wren_boy1313 − If you let those kids in your house, they may never leave. Maybe your sister loses her job and can’t afford rent and asks to move in, too.

Maybe her partner doesn’t fully recover and is on long term bedrest, maybe he needs to move in as well. NTA

BeautifulPhantom1 − NTA, she went up creek without a paddle (granted, through no fault of her own, hubby's stroke)

and then calls you after a year of not speaking because of stealing from you and expects you to drop everything to help her out?

Yeah, that's not how that works.

I suggest she asks her in-laws to help instead while you enjoy the life you planned in that year. Edited to correct the medical condition.

A group of users suggest alternatives like childcare costs or social services instead of taking kids.

Active_Tea9115 − Is there anything you can help with aside from taking her kids?

Like others say maybe you could give some assistance for emergency childcare or direct her to crisis support so she can get the care she needs for herself and her...

ComprehensiveOne3176 − Maybe you could help with childcare costs? NAH

nickis84 − NTA- If her husband is bad off as your sister claims, why isn't your sister talking to the hospital social worker for help?

Her husband was on some sort of disability before he had the stroke, wouldn't they be eligible for some kind of assistance to help your sister out?

[Reddit User] − I'm waffling on N A H, because sister has obviously hurt you to put you in this position.

Ultimately, NTA. She can't burn her remaining bridges and expect people to leap over the waters for her. It's, unfortunately, a product of her own (and your parent's) doing.

Due to husband's medical status, could you perhaps assist her with finding social services to help her as a compromise?

I don't know if there are things like childcare assistance where you are. Maybe finding her information while she focuses on her husband would help. A sad situation all around.

To sum up, this Redditor’s stand for her hard-earned peace amid a stroke-fueled storm raises big questions on redemption’s price tag.

With a history of hurt and kids caught in the crossfire, was prioritizing the trip a fair flex of boundaries, or a missed shot at mending fences?

How would you navigate being the reluctant family lifeline without losing your own spark? Drop your thoughts below. We’re all ears for the drama!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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