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Woman’s Refusal To Update Her Contact Info Led To A Year-Long Battle Of Malicious Compliance

by Leona Pham
November 13, 2025
in Social Issues

When you change your number, you expect a clean slate. For Christine, her past had other plans. Three years later, she was still getting appointment reminders, family texts, and even messages from her old employers, all meant for the “new” Christine.

One person decided to take matters into his own hands and get her to really change her number. His method? Nothing short of creative and borderline malicious compliance. By the time he was done, no one, not even her boss, was willing to deal with the old number anymore.

Christine’s old number leads to canceled appointments and chaos

Woman's Refusal To Update Her Contact Info Led To A Year-Long Battle Of Malicious Compliance
not the actual photo

'You won't change your phone number? Challenge accepted!?'

Christine used to have my phone number 3+ years ago. Clearly she did not want the ‘baggage’ in her life to follow to the new number.

Debt collectors, old flames (male and female - she was prolific if nothing else), and others.

I can understand this and Christine, I hope your new life is better today.

Debt collectors gave up pretty quickly. I have not heard from one of those for 2 years now.

Some of the old flames were very persistent but eventually gave up as well. The last call/text from her past lovers was a year(ish) ago.

The big challenge was family, personal appointments (mostly text confirmations,

Y to confirm, N to cancel) from doctors, hair dressers, nails, etc, and her employer.

I still get the odd call/text from family that can’t understand why Christine didn’t share her new details. Sorry, I can’t help you understand her motivations.

As the calls/texts would come in, I explained it’s not her number anymore please get her to update her details.

Normal stuff for someone changing their number. People would say, 'thanks, we will get her to update'.

Over time as this continued I started getting frustrated. I cited HIPAA to medical and became a bit of a nuisance to others.

That helped a bit but largely there was no change.

As personal appointments kept coming in more than a year later, enough was enough. I accepted the challenge of forcing change.

I ignored confirmation messages until the day before when the last confirmation typically gets sent out.

I cancelled everything! Gynaecologist-cancel, hair appointment-cancel, lawyer app - cancel.

If they called to confirm, sorry Christine can’t make it anymore.

Slowly, she started changing her number. No one wants appointments they make getting cancelled after waiting for weeks or months.

Good luck getting in again in any reasonable timeframe.

The best was just over 1 year in I got a text from her boss.

He wanted her to come in early for a special meeting the next day. I did the only reasonable thing and politely quit for her.

The next day, I got a very terse text from her boss saying how unprofessional, unkind, not funny, etc., that my text was.

My response “Get Christine to f’n change her number.” I then got a very expletive filled text from Christine.

My response, “change your number or I will keep cancelling all your appointments”.

At that point, I don’t think she realized how her appointments were getting canceled.

A second, even more expletive-filled text followed. I 'lol'ed in response.. Guess what? No more personal appointments.

Still the occasional family member though.... How lazy can you be?

TL/DR: I got a new number, old number owner would not change her details with anyone. I fixed it!

In this situation, the OP’s frustration is entirely understandable. Over a period of years, they were subjected to a constant stream of messages and calls for Christine, the previous owner of the phone number.

Debt collectors, personal appointments, and messages from family members kept interrupting their life, and despite repeated requests to update her contact details, Christine did nothing.

From the OP’s perspective, this wasn’t just an inconvenience; it was a violation of their personal space. As time went on, what began as minor annoyance escalated into a larger issue, leading the OP to take drastic actions to resolve it.

From a psychological standpoint, the OP’s response may stem from feelings of powerlessness and frustration.

According to psychologist Dr. Carl Pickhardt, when boundaries are repeatedly violated or ignored, people often experience a heightened sense of helplessness. Over time, this can lead individuals to act out in ways that feel more like regaining control than simply addressing a situation.

The OP’s decision to cancel appointments and essentially take matters into their own hands can be seen as a response to feeling unheard or disregarded. When external circumstances seem to be beyond one’s control, resorting to action, even drastic action, can offer a sense of regained autonomy.

However, it’s important to consider a different perspective. Christine’s failure to update her contact information might not have been rooted in laziness or malice but could have been a form of avoidance or fear.

As Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist and author of Untangled, explains, people often delay taking responsibility for things that feel overwhelming or unpleasant. This could be a case where Christine, intentionally or not, avoided confronting the consequences of updating her details, preferring to ignore the issue rather than face the discomfort of dealing with it.

From this lens, the OP’s actions could be viewed as a disproportionate response to what might have been a simple communication failure.

Dr. Damour suggests that when people feel ignored, they sometimes resort to behaviors that are out of proportion with the situation in an attempt to be seen or heard. The OP’s actions, though extreme, are a classic example of how frustrations can build up over time, leading to irrational or revenge-driven decisions.

The psychological theory behind this is aligned with Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in relationships. While originally applied to romantic partnerships, the concept is also useful in understanding boundary violations in other relationships.

The OP likely reached a point of emotional flooding where feelings of resentment and frustration became too overwhelming, prompting a breakdown in communication.

Dr. John Gottman highlights how persistent negative interactions can escalate into behaviors like contempt (seen in the OP’s harsh response to Christine’s boss), ultimately leading to toxic cycles.

In conclusion, while the OP’s response may seem extreme, it’s rooted in a common emotional reaction to boundary violations and the feeling of being unheard.

From a psychological standpoint, understanding the dynamics of frustration, communication breakdown, and avoidance helps shed light on the escalation of this situation. The challenge remains in finding ways to address such issues in a healthy, constructive manner, something that the OP and Christine both might have benefited from in this case.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

This group shared stories of creatively handling misdirected communications

Brief-History-6838 − about 10 years ago I started getting COUNTLESS random sales calls. Everything from insurance, stock market tips, ISP's, you name it.

All looking for a woman with a very unique name. It all just started randomly one morning with no warning.

I got 12 calls all looking for the same woman, next day even more.

I had no idea wtf was going on Eventually one of the women who called told me that this person had entered a competition on Facebook

and listed my phone number as hers. So she intentionally had me spammed for a competition she had entered. I was pissed.

I did a quick search and found her on facebook (she was the only one with that name in my entire country).

Turns out we had a mutual friend, my next door neighbour. She was dating his little brother at the time and he didnt like me very much.

All the pieces began to fit together, he probably gave her my number.

I contacted her about this situation and she denied all knowledge of what was going on.

I began telling people "sorry, she was hit by a car last week and didnt make it". Eventually the calls stopped. Still get stock investment bs every couple months though....

SpiderWeaverArts − Hah! I had the same thing happen to me. She texted me angrily herself

after I sent a real weird text back to the Girl Scout troop chain I kept getting added to.

She said it wasnt her fault her boyfriend was a d__g addicted (her words) and had to get a new phone.

I just told her getting a new phone does not prevent you from telling your family or daughters troop and school that your number changed???

Then I sent her a screenshot every single time someone texted me something meant for her.

She apologized after the 3rd one I sent and said "oh god, that must be so annoying"

These commenters suggested using misdirected communications as an opportunity to have a little fun

hotlavatube − Family members still text eh? I think Christine just got pregnant by. .. what was the boss's name again?

CocoaAlmondsRock − Save Christine's number. Share it with anyone who calls looking for her. Fingers crossed the debt collectors call again...

adude1016 − I had the same situation, but ended up with an invite to join their March madness pool.

I signed in and my team name was “Rosie has a new number”. They booted me instantly but things finally started changing after that.

This group recounted their experiences with phone number mix-ups

traypo − I had to force a phone company to change my newly assigned number because it was a single digit from a pizza shop.

The phone company refused so I started accepting orders. They changed it real fast.

dacorgimomo − My husband still gets texts and calls for a guy who had the number 10-15 years ago. The guy is dead.

LostTurd − My favorite is to calmly say I am sorry to inform you they have passed away I am the family member.

We are still sorting everything out as we work our way through this unexpected tragedy.

Then you can just get off the phone or have fun making up a fake death story.

"It was awful, the train ran her over and she was literally just a talking head. She didn't suffer long maybe 5 minutes before she quit shaking" then hang up.

These commenters highlighted the frustration of dealing with persistent and invasive miscommunications

cigardan69 − Once she texted you back I would have kept the number to pass out to anyone looking for her

Grognac_the_Red − My family got scammed. Numbers we had for over 15 years were suddenly locked, and then two months later given away.

So many things were keyed to my number- bank accounts, memberships, etc. All of them required a 2 step authentication.

According to my friend, eventually the new number owner started texting people back and asking to be removed from things,

so I called her and told her my whole situation, apologizing for the hassle, and I started resetting all my things while she was on the phone with me.

It turned out pretty funny in the end.

wkendwench − My sister in law gave my phone number to a debt collector. He kept calling even after I told him,

although I am A “Last Name” but I wasn’t THE “Last Name” he was looking for and please stop calling me about Jennifer’s debts.

He got n__ty and aggressive “I know it’s you Jennifer just pay your bills and I’ll stop calling”.

I had to school him on federal laws regarding debt collection and how he was breaking the law with his tactics

(calling outside of restricted hours providing details of Jennifer’s debt when I wasn’t Jennifer, etc. ) he mocked me so I did the only thing I could.

I did an internet search based on his phone numbers that he called from, found out what company he worked for,

reported him to the FTC, then called his employer and had a chat with a supervisor explaining to them

that a complaint had been filed with the FTC and why. He never bothered me again. I hope you were fired Michael you d__k.

These commenters expressed amusement and disbelief at how some people neglect to change their information on important accounts

justaman_097 − Well played. If she couldn't change her number for important things like doctors, lawyers, bosses, and family,

I guess she was too stupid to change it on things like banks or cards that require 2-factor authentication.

She left herself at risk. It's a good thing that you're a good (but petty) person.

serraangel826 − 12+ years later and my daughter still gets texts from CVS for "Taylor". No, her name isn't Taylor.

[Reddit User] − People keep using my email address like this, so I cancelled a dudes return flight.

He wouldn’t know until he’s at the airport because they sent the confirmation to me as well

What do you think? Was the Redditor justified in cancelling all those appointments, or should they have just let it go? Would you have done the same thing? Share your thoughts below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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