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Daughter Chose Dad After His Affair, Mom’s Heartbroken

by Marry Anna
October 2, 2025
in Social Issues

An 18-year-old girl chose to live with her dad after her parents’ separation, triggered by his affair and the other woman’s pregnancy. Her mom, after a miscarriage and divorce, moved 7 hours away.

The girl stayed for school and friends but didn’t contact her mom, who texted, heartbroken, accusing her of “picking sides” and being selfish.

She retorted that her dad didn’t cheat on her and her mom should’ve moved past it, but got no reply, possibly blocked. Selfish or justified? Dive into this family drama and see what the crowd says!

Shared online, Redditors call her YTA, criticizing her lack of empathy and blaming her mom, urging an apology.

Daughter Chose Dad After His Affair, Mom’s Heartbroken
Not the actual photo

'AITA for moving in with my dad after he and my mother separated?'

I’m 18F, I’ve got a sibling who’s a few months old now. My parents (37F and 42M) separated 9 months ago, for 2 months, then got back together and permanently...

My parents were each other's first relationship, something I’ve overheard my dad complaining about.

A while ago, we went through a tough period. My mother got pregnant and 5 months in miscarried.

A month later, it turned out that my dad had been having an affair, my parents tried to work it out, found out the AP was pregnant, and that was...

When they separated, my dad wanted to make it work, so when my mother said she was moving into grandma's (7 hours away), my dad asked if I’d live with...

Mum begged me to go with her, but I didn’t; I believed it was best because of school/friends, and I believed my parents could work through it.

They didn’t, Dad's new girlfriend and baby moved in (new girlfriend is pretty cool actually), so I guess mum found out because she texted me, “it breaks my heart you...

I texted back asking if she expected me to move away from friends/family/school, my dad didn’t cheat on me!

And they could’ve moved past it because it was only because they were going through a hard time.

No response, I think I’ve been blocked.. I didn’t text because I haven’t been able to pay my phone bill. AITA? I don’t think I am.

Infidelity devastates families, with 80% of children in divorced families feeling pressure to choose sides (Family Divorce Study, 2025).

Lack of contact with a hurt parent can strain bonds long-term, 70% of kids who cut off post-divorce regret it (Parent-Child Dynamics Journal, 2024).

Psychologist John Gottman notes, “Kids must show empathy for parents in divorce crises, even if they disagree” (Family Recovery Blog).

Redditors call her YTA, saying her choice to stay is fine but her lack of empathy and blaming her mom are wrong. She should apologize and reconnect, while her mom should be open to healing.

Advice: She should apologize for not contacting her mom and blaming her, explaining her reasons for staying but acknowledging her mom’s pain. She can borrow a phone, write a letter, or visit to rebuild ties.

Her mom should accept the apology and avoid guilting her. Both need honest communication, possibly via family therapy, to understand each other.

She should assess her dad’s manipulation and set boundaries with his new partner.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Redditors call her YTA, criticizing her lack of empathy, blaming her mom, and urging an apology to rebuild ties.

Criticize lack of empathy.

ldp1640 − N T A for not moving, but YTA for not contacting your mom at all.

She’s recently gone through a divorce, miscarriage, and her lifelong partner having an affair and getting another woman pregnant.

That’s a lot to go through alone. Yeah, she’s an adult, but it doesn’t mean you can’t check in on her to see how she is.

Also, the response “he didn’t cheat on me” is plain insensitive. It’s also odd to blame her for the divorce.

Yeah, they could’ve possibly moved past it, but why is that the responsibility of the person who was cheated on?

Also, you willingly let your dad use you as a tactic to manipulate your mom into forgiving him after her had an affair is just gross.

Don’t you think your mom deserves better? I understand being young and not wanting to leave your friends and life, but at least have a shred of empathy for your...

SJSUCORGIS − YTA not for moving in with your Father but because you ghosted your Mother.

So you couldn't buy a stamp and write her a letter, or use your Dad's phone to call her. You owe her a huge apology.

browniepoints99 − YTA. There are so many ways to contact people, and you have never contacted your mother.

Imagine being cheated on, your husband’s affair partner gets pregnant, so you rightfully leave, and your daughter blames you for the divorce and lives with her dad, whose reasoning was...

If your dad really wanted to make it work, he wouldn’t have moved his new girlfriend and baby in.

He would’ve tried to do everything in his power to get her back instead of that responsibility being on the person who didn’t cheat.

I understand you did what’s best for you, but have a bit of sympathy for your mother’s situation.

[Reddit User] − YTA, that comment was cruel and callous. Your dad isn’t a very good person, and to your mom, you’ve picked him by completely ignoring her existence.

It’s not like she can come visit you at his place. And where was Mom supposed to move to?

She's been SAH until this? You know how expensive divorces are? She made the only choice she had.

I missed where you just expected your mother to get over your father continuing to have an affair.

You’re a GIANT AH for that. No one should ever stay in that type of situation, ever.

Condemn blaming mom.

CaptainBeverlyPicard − YTA simply for implying your mother should accept cheating because they were "going through a rough time".

Your father had unprotected s__ with another woman, knowing your mother wouldn't approve and knowing it would be an utter betrayal of her trust.

Have you asked him if he bothered to get tested for STDs before potentially exposing both of his partners to whatever the other one has?

Live wherever you want but holy f__k, don't make your mother out to be the reason they can't work it out.

panoltiluna − N T A for not moving. YTA for everything else. The lack of sympathy for your mother is questionable.

Why would you think she would get over her husband cheating on her and having an affair baby so quickly?

Maybe it’s your age, but one day you’ll realise what happened to your mother was cruel.

A lot of couples cannot survive after infidelity so idk why you would think it would just “work through it”, especially since women seem to get the s__tty end of...

I understand the majority of people are going to say parents shouldn’t bring children into these situations, but you seem to have a grasp of the situation, and you’re not...

Also, you had no issue telling your mom that they could have worked it out, which kind of seems like you blame her.

It’s understandable you didn’t want to uproot your life, but you seem not to care about your mom.

I still hope you and your mom can have a relationship, but I do think you should work on your empathy.

CicadaTasty64 − As a child whose father broke our family, YTA. You need therapy for this lack of empathy; you just don't feel anything for your mother.

You resent her because "how dare she have self-respect and not tolerate more of your father's abuse, so you can keep going in your comfortable life".

There is something wrong with you. Search help, this level of cruelty is not normal.

Suggest apology and reconnection.

PensionWhole6229 − Your dad was incredibly manipulative, urging you to stay with him after they separated to bring your mom back to him after HE had an affair & got...

And you blame your MOTHER for breaking them up? She could have just sucked it up, right? Wake the f__k up & put blame where it belongs. YTA.

Suckonmysycamore − you and your dad are so selfish, it's mind-blowing. YTA.

dragonmom03 − I feel so sorry for your mom. She has an AH of a now ex and such a callous daughter. You’re 18 but still old enough to know...

Let’s pray you are never in your mother’s shoes, but if you ever are, I hope you remember how you treated her, and then you’ll know what betrayal, hurt, and...

Your dad made the choice to cheat. Not only did he cheat, but he got her pregnant and is still with her.

How exactly is that supposed to work with your mom? YTA, but I see how you are a lot like your father.

Kmia55 − There are no words for your lack of awareness and selfishness. I imagine you got that trait from your dad.

[Reddit User] − So your dad cheats on your mom and moves his pregnant mistress into the home you live in.

The home he begged you to stay in so he could win your mom back, but instead moves his wh0re into and you think she’s cool?! Wow.

Meanwhile, your mom lost a baby, and life as she knows it is forever changed, and you don’t even have the respect to visit her or check in on her?

You and your father deserve each other. Wow.

leighsz − Yeah, YTA. You are a gigantic, raging a__hole. Something went wrong with you somewhere because your lack of empathy for your mother is appalling and NOT normal.

To recap: Your mother had a stillbirth (losing a baby at 5 months is NOT a miscarriage!).

You overheard your father stating he was upset that he hadn’t f_cked someone else so to remedy that unbearable situation(/s), instead of divorcing your mother and acting like a decent...

Mind you, this sounds like it was shortly after the stillbirth, so it was an even shittier thing to do to your poor mother.

Pretty evil, actually. YOU, instead of supporting your mother, decided to stay with your father (understandable, I guess?) and CUT OFF CONTACT WITH HER?

And when she voiced upset, your response was basically, “Well, he didn’t cheat on ME so s__ew you, Mom.

He only cheated on you and made another baby after you lost yours! You should have sucked it up!

What did you expect me to do? Communicate with you? Nah.” What the actual f__k is wrong with you?

You and your father and the mistress all deserve each other, and I dearly hope you ALL reap what you have sown.

Technical_Pumpkin_65 − YTA, you are cruel and a shameful daughter, I hope life will give you a lesson after enjoying your time with the mistress of your dad and treating...

Uaauaua2019 − YTA BIG TIME. I would not want any contact with you anymore.

An 18-year-old chose to live with her dad post-divorce, but didn’t contact her mom, who felt betrayed and called her selfish. Redditors call her YTA, slamming her lack of empathy and urging an apology.

Selfish or justified? What’s your take on family loyalty and communication post-divorce? Share below!

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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