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Man Files For Divorce, Having No Idea About His Wife’s Secret, She Reveals, Then He Outsmarts Her

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A 34-year-old Redditor, worn down by a cold marriage, faced his wife Alice’s verbal jabs: crooked shoes, salty dinners, for two years. Despite date nights and therapy, her icy rejections pushed him to lawyer up for a clean divorce, splitting house and cars like pizza.

When he dropped the D-word, Alice’s shock unveiled a game-changing secret, sparking a sister’s shady wrath. Reddit’s AITA debates this saga of heartbreak and clever moves, questioning if his exit was justified or a plot twist too sharp for their frosty union.

Man files for divorce, without realizing her affair, but she accidentally confesses, now the divorce takes a different turn.

Man Files For Divorce, Having No Idea About His Wife's Secret, She Reveals, Then He Outsmarts Her
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for 'tricking' my soon to be ex-wife?'

I've (34M) been married to Alice (33F) for seven years now, the last 2 years have been completely dead bedroom with Alice being extremely closed off.

I tried to start date nights, but she would cancel them. Tried to start couples therapy, and again, she would cancel appointments day of.

I did, however, start independent therapy which has helped a lot.

Overall, she has been extremely frigid. I would get home and she would just tear me apart,

judge everything from how crooked my shoes are in the shoe cubby to how salty dinner is when I cook it.

And before you ask, yes, she does work. I also do the majority of the cooking (I find cooking relaxing/therapeutic).

After two years of this, I finally decided to talk to a lawyer and get my options.

Alice seemed as miserable as I do, so I talked to a lawyer about how a straight down the middle split divorce would look.

Basically, we would have to sell the house, each one keeps a car, and we split the equity of the house,

each of us keeping our own retirement accounts. I am fine with this, and I asked the lawyer to start writing it up.

Alice in the past had some issues with her temper, so I made sure to record the conversation on my phone, just in case.

Well, two months ago was when I sat her down and told her I was thinking and neither of us have been happy for a long time,

we should just pull off the band-aid and get divorced. Alice then shocked me with her first question: "How long did you know?".

I didn't know what she thought I knew, but I played along and said since the beginning: "You knew for half a year and didn't say anything?"

I have to say, I was very emotionally divorced from this woman already, partially thanks to a good amount of therapy, so I kept playing along. I asked why him...

She then spilled her guts that 'Frank' was there for her and everyone else in the office found him charming.

Frank was her boss, so now I had more. We danced around more and she handed her phone over to me defeated thinking that I already knew the worst.

I took screenshots of their conversations and forwarded to my email. Alice wasn't crying, she wasn't begging, but she did act 'sad'.

She packed up a bag of stuff and left. I took the recording and the screenshots and sent them to my lawyer.

After a brief phone call with my lawyer, we decided to not go with the 'clean split', but instead I keep the house, the cars, and whatever is in the...

Papers were drafted and sent to her, which she has not contested with her thinking I had a mountain of evidence of her infidelity.

Divorce is now underway, with just the clock running until the final decree.

The problem starts when my sister Sam (31F) bumped into Alice in the grocery store.

I talked to Sam about the marital problems and how I wanted a clean split. I didn't, however, tell her about the adultery.

Alice told her that she cheated and Sam was confused. Sam called me last night, asking if I knew Alice was cheating when I got a lawyer.

I told her, no I didn't, Alice volunteered the information when I asked for a divorce and I played along to get more info.

Sam said she was disappointed in me using 'mind games' to trick Alice into agreeing to a less than even split in the divorce.

Sam said it was stunts like these that are borderline 'gaslighting'. So, I got to ask, should I have kept with the even split divorce?

Edited to add: We live in a state that allows both no fault divorce and fault divorce, and there is a prenup with a cheating clause involved.

I originally sought to do a no-fault even split, basically wash our hands of this sham, get on with our lives.

We're not going to try an unrealistic 90/10 either. In the end, it will be more 65/35.

She had a lawyer read and agree to the settlement, which she had signed.

Like I said, now we're waiting out the clock; our state has provisions on 'cool-off periods' and s__t.

I didn't have papers ready or drafted when I talked to Alice. With how miserable she was, I figured she would want the split as well..

No idea why my sister is so hung up on the 'dishonesty' I had to 'trick' Alice.

A divorce was about to happen, until the wife spilled the beans, accidentally turned herself in. Then the divorce papers had their agreement rearranged. Did he play dirty or play smart? Why don’t you decide yourself, after listening to the experts’ and Reddit community’s opinions?

Meeting your soon-to-be ex’s confession with a poker face is totally next-level strategy. This Redditor’s tale is less about love lost and more about trust torched.

After two years of a chilly marriage, he was ready to call it quits with a fair 50/50 split. But when Alice assumed he knew her secret: her cozy chats with her charming boss, Frank, she handed over her phone like it was a hot potato.

Suddenly, the divorce deal shifted from even-steven to a 65/35 split in his favor, thanks to a prenup with a cheating clause. Was this a cunning trap or just Alice tripping over her own guilt?

Let’s zoom out: infidelity shakes marriages like a snow globe, leaving everyone disoriented. According to a 2023 study by the Institute for Family Studies, about 20% of marriages face infidelity, often leading to trust issues that ripple into divorce decisions.

Here, Alice’s frosty behavior: snapping at his cooking, dodging therapy, might’ve been her guilt talking. But was the Redditor’s “play along” tactic shady? Not quite. He didn’t plant the idea. Alice spilled it herself.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships”.

Alice’s betrayal wasn’t just about Frank. Her emotional distance was a slow-motion wrecking ball.

The Redditor, armed with therapy-honed calm, seized the moment to protect his interests.

His sister Sam, though, cried foul, calling it “mind games”. But is it manipulation if you’re just listening to someone’s unprompted confession?

Navigating family dynamics in divorce is trickier than a tightrope walk. Sam’s grocery store chat with Alice left her clutching pearls, accusing her brother of gaslighting.

Yet, the Redditor’s move was less about deceit and more about letting Alice’s truth-telling fumble reshape the deal.

For those in similar spots, transparency with a lawyer and clear communication can prevent these family feuds.

See what others had to share with OP:

Some believe the individual is justified in using the wife’s admission of cheating to influence the divorce settlement.

virtualchoirboy − NTA. The extra money you're getting out of the divorce are going to help with the extra therapy you're going to want

to help you process all the signs you missed. At least, that's the answer I would give to Sam. .. :-)

Crimsonwolf_83 − NTA and never tell your sister anything of importance again.

Organic2003 − All is fair when dealing with a cheater. You did great and found the truth of your life. I hope you get everything in the divorce

[Reddit User] − NTA. Simple case of misandry from your sister. If the roles were reversed and it was you who had cheated

I would bet your sister would be wanting Alice to get the better deal. You didn't trick your wife. She owned up to adultery.

Statimc − No she was cheating and that’s what explains her behaviour leading up to the divorce: alienation of affection,

follow through with what your lawyer suggested.

Particular_Title42 − NTA. You didn't trick her at all and she should get a less than even split. She broke her vows. And no, absolutely not gaslighting.

[Reddit User] − Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Also, tell your sis that's not what gas lighting is.

Your almost ex running her mouth isn't you gas lighting her.

Intrepid_Potential60 − NTA, cmon now, when someone pukes information, it isn’t your fault.

Proud-Geek1019 − NTA. As a woman who was cheated on, I wish I had the evidence you do (I got it, but after all was said and done).

Why should she get half when she is the reason the marriage fell apart? She is the one who cheated, not you.

So no, your sister seems to be backing your soon to be ex simply because she’s a woman.

Others question the sister’s reaction and loyalty, suggesting she may be biased or unreliable.

bhyellow − You didn’t “trick” her. She mistakenly spilled the beans on herself. Your sister is a traitor.

l3ex_G − Nta is your sister okay? She finds out your wife cheated on you and then said she’s disappointed that you played mind games?

I hope she isn’t married.

QueenMother81 − Tell Sam to mind her MF business

makeitmakesense2023 − Umm that’s a really odd position for YOUR sister to be taking here.

It’s entirely none of her business for starters but don’t you think it’s quite odd that she is more concerned

that you changed direction than that this woman had been cheating on you that whole time? Carry on!

So do you think this Redditor crossed a line? Alice’s confession flipped their split from fair to favorable, and while he’s walking away with the house and a bit more, Sam’s calling it foul play.

Do you think he was wrong to let Alice’s guilt rewrite the deal, or was it just smart strategy? How would you handle a sibling stirring the pot in your breakup drama? Drop your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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