Finding out your parents spent your college fund is a nightmare scenario for any young adult. But finding out they spent it on a luxury Disney cruise and home renovations while pretending to have your back? That is a betrayal on a whole different level.
A young man on Reddit is wrestling with this exact reality. Years ago, his mother liquidated his $40,000 college fund and a $10,000 inheritance to fund a lavish lifestyle. Now, as his father retires, a new opportunity has appeared: the chance to sue for a portion of his dad’s pension that was legally awarded to his mom.
He wants to know if he’s wrong for trying to get his money back, even if it leaves his mother struggling.
Now, read the full story:
This story hits hard because it combines financial betrayal with emotional manipulation. It’s not just about the money; it’s about the broken promise. The mom didn’t just spend the cash on bills; instead she spent it on visible luxuries like a Disney cruise, creating happy memories for the kids that were essentially stolen from their own future.
The OP describes a classic toxic dynamic: the “villain” dad who was actually paying support and setting aside money, and the “victim” mom who used emotional alienation to keep the kids on her side while draining their accounts.
The fact that the courts previously let her off with a “slap on the wrist” because she was broke adds a layer of injustice to the situation. It sends the message that if you spend the money fast enough, you won’t have to pay it back. But now that a pension, a guaranteed stream of income, is entering the picture, the OP sees a window for justice. It’s a messy, vindictive, and completely understandable impulse.
Financial Infidelity and The Cost of College
This situation highlights a massive issue in divorce law: enforcement. A divorce decree can say anything it wants, but if the money is gone, it’s gone. This kind of “financial infidelity” between parents often leaves the children as collateral damage.
The stakes here are incredibly high. According to the Education Data Initiative, the average cost of attendance for a student living on campus at a public 4-year in-state institution is over $26,000 per year. Without that $40,000 head start, the OP is looking at taking on high-interest loans that could cripple their financial start in adulthood.
Furthermore, recovering these funds is legally complex. Family law attorney David Centeno notes that while you can file for contempt of court when a spouse violates a divorce decree, the court’s ability to extract money depends entirely on the debtor’s ability to pay. The OP’s idea to target the pension is creative, but pensions are often protected by strict laws (like ERISA in the US), making them hard to garnish even for debts like this.
Check out how the community responded:
The vast majority of users urged the OP to seek professional help immediately, warning that this is above Reddit’s pay grade.
Many users were fully on the OP’s side regarding the morality of the situation, even if the legal side is murky.
Some users offered a reality check, suggesting the dad might share some blame or that the money wasn’t legally “stolen” in the way OP thinks.
Others warned about the emotional and financial cost of dragging this back to court.
How to Navigate a Situation Like This
If you believe a parent has misappropriated funds meant for you, the very first step is to gather evidence, quietly. Do not tip your hand. You need copies of the divorce decree, the grandfather’s will, and any bank statements you can access.
Next, consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law or estate litigation. Do not rely on advice from friends or the internet. The specific wording of the divorce agreement matters immensely. Was the money in a trust? Was it just a “promise” in the decree? These details change everything.
Finally, prepare yourself emotionally for the possibility that the money is gone forever. Even with a judgment, collecting from a parent who lives paycheck to paycheck (or relies on a pension) is notoriously difficult. You have to decide if the potential financial gain is worth the emotional toll of reopening a legal war with your mother.
Conclusion
The consensus is clear: morally, the OP is absolutely in the right to be furious. His future was leveraged for a temporary lifestyle upgrade. Legally, however, it’s a minefield. Suing for a portion of a pension is a long shot, but for $50,000, it’s a shot many in the community feel he should take.
What do you think? Is it fair to go after a parent’s retirement money to pay for a mistake they made years ago, or should the OP accept the loss and move on?
