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Teen Refuses To Abandon Cancer-Fighting Mom For Dad’s Chaotic House Full Of Screaming Noises

by Jeffrey Stone
December 1, 2025
in Social Issues

A 16-year-old’s peaceful world with their cancer-fighting mom tilted sideways when the mostly-absent dad seized the moment to force a move into his overcrowded, screaming household packed with aunts, cousins, and half-siblings.

Home with mom meant quiet nights, a purring cat, personal space, and books everywhere. Dad’s place offered shared rooms, constant chaos, and stuff vanishing in frantic clean-ups. When the teen firmly refused, dad exploded, branded them ungrateful, declared mom unfit, and unleashed the older kids to pile on with “spoiled brat” insults.

A 16-year-old refuses to move into dad’s chaotic house while mom undergoes cancer treatment.

Teen Refuses To Abandon Cancer-Fighting Mom For Dad's Chaotic House Full Of Screaming Noises
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my dad I'm not going to live with him?'

For some background, I'm 16, and I live with my mom and see my dad sometimes.

My parents aren't divorced or married, they just don't live together and never have.

My mom is going through cancer treatment. She didn't want to tell anyone, but my dad found out, and now he wants me to come live with him. I don't...

My dad's house stresses me out. Too many people live there. It's him, his sister, his father, his other kids (24M and 22F), and a revolving door of cousins.

It's so loud. Someone is always screaming. It's technically bigger than my mom's place, but there's nowhere near enough space.

I have to share a room with 22F and any visiting cousins. I couldn't keep anything there

even if I wanted to unless I want it destroyed or thrown away in an attempt to "clean up" because there's too much stuff everywhere.

My mom's house is the opposite. Unless her friends are over, it's just me and her. It's clean, quiet, relaxed.

Of course there's talking and we play music at all hours, but it's a normal volume. There's almost never yelling.

I have a cat (another thing not possible at my dad's), my own room, even my own bathroom.

We have an entire area dedicated to books and records, something that could never happen at my dad's.

I've tried to tell him politely that I want to stay with my mom. Her treatment isn't that major.

She says it was caught early and everything should be back to normal before the end of the year.

He didn't take it well, and is telling me I don't get a choice here, he's my father, and my mother "isn't a fit parent" right now.

I don't agree. My mom is fine! There's not even a custody order in place or anything, and it seems too late to get one as I'm already 16.

We had a huge argument. He's calling me disrespectful and says I need to obey my parents.

His other kids are joining in to say I'm being a spoiled brat and that I'm part of the family and living with my mom isn't "real life".

Meeting the “other side” of the family is usually awkward enough, but being forcibly relocated into a screaming household because one parent is sick? That’s next-level stress.

At 16, most teens already have a strong preference about where they live, and research backs them up. According to a 2023 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, adolescents aged 15–17 who are allowed to have a say in custody or living arrangements show significantly lower rates of anxiety and depression than those whose preferences are ignored.

Courts in most U.S. states and many countries now routinely consider the child’s wishes once they hit 14–16, especially when one home has been the primary residence for years.

Dad’s argument basically boils down to “I’m the father, so obey,” but author Christian Dashielle, in an article for Fatherly, puts it perfectly: “An unwillingness to compromise combined with tactics like yelling or shaming make parents look like drill sergeants to their children.”

That quote fits this situation like a glove. The teen describes a lifetime of occasional visits, not daily parenting. Suddenly flipping the script feels less like protection and more like a control grab.

There’s also the very real issue of stability during a parent’s illness. The American Cancer Society emphasizes that maintaining routine and normalcy is one of the best things families can do for kids when a parent has cancer.

Uprooting a teen from the calm home where the sick parent lives into a high-chaos environment could actually increase everyone’s stress, including mom’s.

Neutral take? The teen isn’t wrong for wanting peace, books, and their cat. Dad isn’t automatically evil for worrying, but bulldozing boundaries and recruiting flying monkeys (aka the half-siblings) isn’t the way over the line.

The healthiest path would be calm conversation, maybe family counseling, and definitely listening to what the almost-adult in the room is saying.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some people believe the dad’s demand is unreasonable and OP should stay with mom since her cancer is manageable.

VisionAri_VA − NTA. My Mom was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year.

Like your mom’s case, it was caught early, she’s already completed her treatment and she’s fine.

And, like in your mom’s case, the treatments weren’t debilitating and her life pretty much went on as usual.

Plus, you’re 16 and likely already caring for yourself to some extent. So between that and your mom’s condition, there’s no need for you to shift houses.

Tell your dad that if the situation starts to go sideways, you’ll let him know. And tell your half-siblings to mind their own business.

On a side note: if your mom were actually sick from the cancer and/or treatment,

did he expect you to just up and abandon her at a time when she most needed help?

WelfordNelferd − NTA. It makes zero sense for you to uproot your life in this scenario. Don't even entertain your Dad's (or his other "kid's") antics.

Stay right where you are with a perfectly clear conscience. Had your mother weighed in on any of this?

Seems to me should would appreciate your staying with her while she's going through treatment... even if it's not "major".

Pandasrthebest − NTA. Your mother is ill and she is still a better parent than him. What’s his excuse?

Some people think the dad and half-siblings are jealous, controlling, or motivated by money/child support.

diminishingpatience − NTA. They sound awful. You're right to make this choice.

The description of your home is very different from the chaos you described at his house.

His other kids are joining in to say I'm being a spoiled brat and that I'm part of the family and living with my mom isn't "real life". They're i__ots.

MaleficentProgram997 − Sounds like everyone's jealous of your idyllic life and don't want you to have it. Stay with your mom. It sounds awesome there.

forgetregret1day − My guess is that this has something to do with money.

If he forces you to live in the zoo he calls a home, he may pay less in child support or whatever agreement they have for your support.

If you’re in the US and 16, let him take his bull crap demand to court. No judge is going to force you to live with him just because your...

Presuming she’s been your primary parent and place of residence until now, his demand is ludicrous,

which in these situations almost always come down to either money or power.

If your mom is happy with you living with her, tell him you are obeying your parent and to contact a lawyer if he wants to push the agenda.

I wish your mom health and you a peaceful life. That’s not going to happen if you have to live with him. NTA.

Some people emphasize that at 16, OP is old enough to choose and can even help/support mom during treatment.

Virtual-Act-9037 − NTA. You are old enough to make your own decision on where to live.

You are also old enough to help your mother while she is undergoing treatment.

That could be by cooking cleaning, or as you are old enough to get a license, driving her to medical appointments.

You could even say that you are showing more "filial piety" by remaining with your Mom

to assist her instead of moving in to your father's home with his other children.

MaybeitsMe0617 − Nta - at 16 in most places you'd get to choose anyway

Some people strongly criticize the father and side fully with staying with mom.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sounds like the biggest tumor here ain't the one in your mom. It's your sperm donor.

This teen isn’t throwing a tantrum, they’re protecting the only stable, peaceful spot they’ve ever known while their mom fights cancer. At 16, with no custody order and a lifetime of primary residence with mom, forcing the move would be a judicial long shot anyway.

So, internet jury: Was the teen right to stand their ground, or should they suck it up for “family”? Would you rather share a bathroom with five cousins or keep your cat and your cat’s sanity? Drop your take below – we’re ready for the debate!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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