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Woman Checks Husband’s Dashcam, Can’t Believe What He Did To Their Elderly Dog

by Annie Nguyen
January 21, 2026
in Social Issues

Trust is one of those things you rarely question until something feels slightly off. In long relationships, people often choose reassurance over suspicion because doubting someone you love feels worse than being wrong. Sometimes, though, the details do not quite line up, and ignoring that discomfort only makes the eventual truth harder to face.

In this story, a woman returned from a short trip believing her family dog had simply run away under unfortunate circumstances. While she and her young daughter were heartbroken, her husband appeared oddly composed. When unexpected news arrived days later, it raised more questions than answers.

Acting on instinct rather than certainty, she made a decision that crossed a boundary and uncovered something she was not prepared to see. Now she is asking whether discovering the truth justified how she found it. Read on to see why commenters were sharply divided.

A wife doubts her husband after their elderly dog vanishes and his story starts unraveling

Woman Checks Husband’s Dashcam, Can’t Believe What He Did To Their Elderly Dog
not actual the photo

'AITA for checking my husband's dashcam footage on his car without his consent?'

I (34F) live with my husband (37M) and daughter (7F).

My daughter and I recently went on a short trip out of state while my husband stayed

as he had work and was supposed to look after our dog. On the last day of our trip we got a call from my husband

who was acting distraught and said that our dog Ellie had run away and that he could not find her.

He claimed she just bolted away from him in the park, into some bushes and he could not find her.

Our dog is quite small, a mini poodle mix and almost 13 years old, she is still active but it is really unlike her to run away from us

and I was suspicious but chose to believe my husband and me and my daughter were in grief but did not want to blame him.

When we came back home, he seemed surprisingly ok unlike us.

Ever since the pandemic, my husband started working from home and he has always been annoyed at

how much attention we gave Ellie and hated how Ellie begged to sit on our laps and his while he worked.

A few days later we got a call from an animal rescue in a neighboring state quite far from us that she had been found.

I picked the phone and it was on our landline which we almost never use these days but was the contact on the microchip.

I told my husband and he just said "that is great, I am so happy" but it felt kind of blunt and insincere.

I said it is strange that she got so far and he responded that someone must have stolen her and then abandoned her.

This made little sense to me as to why that would happen. When he was out drinking with his buddies,

I copied the videos from his dashcam for the days I was away and saw that he had indeed taken Ellie far out of state,

and clearly dropped her in front of his car thrown a frisbee like object into a field, yelled fetch and drove off without her.

I was livid and confronted him and he just stupidly muttered how he dropped her there so she could find a farm and

have a better life and then the next day got really angry at me for viewing his dashcam and called me an my daughter AHs.

Once the dashcam footage came to light, the debate quickly shifted from “Was it okay to check his camera?” to a far more uncomfortable question: What kind of mindset allows someone to abandon a longtime companion and then justify it as kindness?

Research suggests this behavior is rarely impulsive. A peer-reviewed study published in the journal Animals examined why people abandon pets and found that individuals who relinquish animals often hold emotionally distant attitudes toward them, viewing pets as burdens rather than family members.

The study also noted that these attitudes are frequently paired with rationalization, reframing abandonment as “necessary” or even “beneficial” to reduce guilt. This aligns closely with the husband’s claim that the dog would “find a better life,” a narrative that conveniently softens the reality of what he did.

Another important layer is emotional attachment. Research published in Society & Animals highlights how insecure attachment styles and low empathy are associated with higher tolerance for animal mistreatment.

According to the authors, people who struggle with emotional bonding may see animals as interchangeable or less deserving of care, especially when the animal competes for attention within the household. In family settings, this dynamic can quietly escalate when resentment builds and goes unaddressed.

Experts in human-animal relationships emphasize that pets often function as emotional anchors, particularly for children. When a trusted caregiver deliberately removes that bond, it can feel like a double betrayal: the loss of the pet and the realization that a parent figure was responsible.

Psychologists note that this kind of experience can undermine a child’s sense of safety and trust in adults, even if the child isn’t fully aware of the details.

From a broader perspective, both studies underscore a shared theme: abandonment is rarely about the animal’s well-being. It’s more often about the human’s unmet emotional needs, lack of empathy, or desire to reclaim control.

When confronted, individuals may deflect blame, focusing on privacy violations or technicalities rather than addressing the harm caused.

In situations like this, experts generally recommend prioritizing safety and emotional stability over reconciliation. Rebuilding trust requires accountability, genuine remorse, and professional intervention, not defensiveness or reversal of blame.

Ultimately, this case reflects a deeper truth documented in psychological research: how someone treats those who depend on them, especially when inconvenient, reveals far more than their explanations ever could.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

These Redditors mocked the husband and backed leaving him for cruelty and betrayal

GardenSafe8519 − NTA. Keep your dog and daughter and leave the husband in another state to find another family he'd have a better life with.

Edit: holy farm cow (dog husband) didn't expect top comment . Thanks for all the awards.

These commenters agreed the husband showed extreme cruelty and cannot be trusted again

Deep-Manner-4111 − Wow. NTA. You had a gut feeling and were absolutely right. This is horrible.

What your husband did is SICK and cruel. He left an innocent animal to die. Obviously what you do now is up to you.

But if it were me, I would never be able to trust him again. The entire relationship would be ruined.

He needs to seek therapy if he is so insecure that he is jealous of a dog. Pathetic excuse for a man.

Athenacosplay − NTA, he abandoned a family member.

My dad did this s__t to us as a kid with one of our dogs he didn't like and I still haven't forgiven him.

I hope he realizes how fucked up this was.

BTW my dad was also seeing prostitutes behind my mother's back at the same time but we didnt find out for 10ish years.

All I'll say is that someone with thar little empathy and willingness to lie might be doing more behind your back than you realize.

sarpon6 − NTA. Your husband did something immensely cruel and it sounds like he planned it -- poorly-- and

now he's deflecting by calling you and your daughter (seriously, your daughter? ) AHs.

My ex brother-in-law did that to my dog over 40 years ago. I haven't forgiven him yet.

These users supported divorce, calling the husband’s actions a clear dealbreaker

Janellewpg − NTA I personally would straight up divorce him my dogs are my family.

Then he turns around and gets mad and calls you names.

That’s the same tactic that cheaters use when their significant other finds something. Trying the ol’ uno reverso on you.

stfrances2968 − NTA. This is a dealbreaker for me. I would never look at him the same way again. Nor would I trust him.

elevanns − NTA. This is divorce territory.

These Redditors focused on child safety and were alarmed he insulted a seven-year-old

JhihnX − NTA. Run. Really, OP, I don’t know what else to say. He drove out of state to dump your senior dog.

Next time, he’s going to hit her with his car. He called you and your seven-year-old daughter assholes.

If your dog is still in the home with you, move her to a friend or family’s. Like, tonight.

Stunning-Evening-585 − Nta it's animal cruelty and if he called your 7 y/o an ah you need to start filing for divorce

Agitated-Jaguar3012 − He called a 7 year old an ah? What’s she got to do with any of this? Is she his kid?

Cuz if not, you should probably rethink your relationship. I call my kids ahs but not in the sense that they actually .

ARE they just do ah things sometimes cuz they’re feral. Also, he’s jealous of a 13 year old dog. This guy super sucks. NTA.

These commenters advised saving dashcam footage as evidence and preparing legally

WhiteJadedButterfly − NTA, keep a copy of the footage as evidence

Substantial_Home_257 − Glad to see in the comments you’re getting a lawyer.

Make sure you have copies of that video saved in multiple places. What an awful thing to do to a dog.

And you. And your daughter. NTA. Obviously.

These users emphasized animal cruelty and explained how dumping pets often ends in death

angie50576 − Leave his ass immediately. He abandons a 13 year old dog in a field to fend for itself? Unforgivable.

ReplacementOptimal15 − Just FYI, pets that are dumped don’t find a nice little ranch to go live on.

They get hit by cars, they get attacked by other animals, they starve to death because they don’t know how to find food,

they get shot by farmers who don’t want stray dogs on their property. Your husband had a very good chance of k__ling that dog

and I am so glad everything turned out okay because it usually doesn’t. Thank you for being smart and getting rid of him, obviously NTA

This commenter questioned the story’s plausibility and mocked the husband’s recklessness

RickRussellTX − NTA. If this story is even true, then it's perfectly obvious who the a__hole is.

And who records themselves doing something like that? He's either an i__ot, or he wanted to be caught.

What shook readers most wasn’t just the act itself; it was the complete lack of remorse afterward. Many sympathized with the wife’s decision to look for answers when something felt off, especially when the truth involved a vulnerable family member.

Do you think checking the dashcam crossed a line, or was it a reasonable response to a disturbing situation?

If trust is broken this deeply, can it ever be rebuilt, or is walking away the only option? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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