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Is Twice a Week Enough? The Internet Debates Personal Cleaning Routines After a Family Dispute

by Charles Butler
March 31, 2026
in Social Issues

We all have those certain topics that are best kept between very close friends. From relationship woes to little health quirks, sharing a secret is a sign of deep trust. But what happens when a conversation about a partner’s personal grooming habits accidentally insults the very person you are talking to?

A Redditor recently shared a story about a chat with her boyfriend’s sister that went from helpful to hurtful in seconds. It started with a complaint about a boyfriend’s hygiene and ended with a shocking realization about the sister’s own routine.

This story dives into the delicate world of daily habits and the awkwardness that follows a slip of the tongue. It is a relatable look at how our personal standards can sometimes clash with the people we care about most.

The Story

Is Twice a Week Enough? The Internet Debates Personal Cleaning Routines After a Family Dispute
Not the actual photo

AITA for saying it’s disgusting to shower twice a week?

for context: my boyfriend’s sister was complaining to me that her boyfriend has stinky foreskin (we’re quite close and I never repeat this stuff to her brother lol),

and I asked her if he cleans under it when he showers, to which she said yes, and then I asked her how many times he showers

to which she said twice a week. personally, I shower once a day, maybeee I’ll miss the occasional day in a week if I’m really tired

but it’s usually only a day. to this I said “ugh that is disgusting, twice a week is nowhere near enough”

and then she got super offended and hurt because SHE also only showers twice a week because she wants to ‘preserve the natural oils on her skin’.

I tried to backtrack to keep the peace but she knows it’s b__lshit and now she won’t talk to me.

she’s been off with me for a few days and I can’t even discuss why with my boyfriend because how am I supposed to tell him

his beloved sister has a boyfriend with a stinky penis. am I the a__hole for this? I’m not sure if I should apologise to her.

in all honesty she does not smell, but I still think the twice a week rule is ridiculous because you still get that buildup of sweat and dirt

and I don’t think washing twice a week is sustainable to keep it off.. edit: typo

edit 2: so I’ve been given the NTA flair which I am happy about, but tbh reading a lot of comments has made me more open minded

to not everybody showering everyday. me personally, I have to shower everyday. I have bad body acne (this has been a thing even since before I

incorporated daily showering, I simply didn’t win the hormone lottery) and I wash with a medicated shower wash because I have an additional skin condition,

so I pretty much have to shower everyday to regulate that. aswell as this I try to go for regular walks everyday,

and as it is quite hot in England at the minute I will feel disgusting if I don’t shower at the end of the day.

however, many people in this sub have commented that they are depressed or they even have skin conditions such as eczema which prevents them from showering everyday,

and I can’t possibly comment on those situations as I’ve never been in them. for that I am sorry and I now realise that showering

habits really aren’t such a black and white area. with that being said, the biggest takeaway from this is that you should definitely wash your

bits everyday, especially if you are intimate with another person. nobody likes the taste of d__k cheese, people!

This situation is like a scene from a sitcom that makes you want to hide behind a pillow. It is so easy to speak without thinking when we are comfortable with someone. We all have different baselines for what feels clean or healthy. The shock of finding out a friend’s habits are so different from our own can lead to some very candid reactions.

It feels especially tricky because the sister was actually coming to the Redditor for comfort. Finding out that you share the same habits as the person being criticized is a tough pill to swallow. It is a gentle reminder that sometimes, even when we think we are right, how we say things matters just as much as what we say.

Expert Opinion

The disagreement over showering frequency is actually a very common conversation in the world of wellness. While social norms often lean toward a daily scrub, dermatologists suggest that our skin might have other ideas. This clash between social expectations and biological needs is exactly what happened in this family.

According to research shared by Healthline, many skin experts believe that showering every single day can strip the body of essential moisture. For individuals with sensitive skin or conditions like eczema, less frequent washing can actually be a medical recommendation. However, this advice usually applies to the limbs and torso rather than high-sweat areas.

The psychological aspect of hygiene is equally important. Dr. Abigail Marsh, a psychology researcher, notes that our disgust response is a tool used by the brain to protect us from illness. When the Redditor used a strong word like “disgusting,” it triggered a defensive response in the sister. This is a common hurdle in communication.

Experts at the Gottman Institute often discuss the importance of “softening the startup” during a conversation. A blunt critique can feel like a personal attack rather than a helpful observation. This is why the sister felt so hurt by the comment, as it felt like a judgment on her character.

Maintaining a healthy microbiome is important, but social harmony also requires some middle ground. Medical experts often suggest “selective washing.” This means focusing on key areas like the underarms and feet daily while letting the rest of the skin rest. Finding a balance between these two approaches could have saved this friendship from the current cold war.

Community Opinions

The online community was quickly divided over whether daily showers are a requirement or an option. Many people understood both sides of the sudsy debate.

Personal Hygiene Needs: Readers pointed out that different skin types and lifestyles require different cleaning schedules.

Baileythenerd − NTA- I mean, if you had known about it, you could've phrased it better. But showering twice a week? That's gross tbh

flutterby727 − Slight YTA. I’m assuming that was a knee-jerk response, but then you backtracked. She knows that wasn’t sincere.

All you can do is apologize for hurting her feelings... Honestly, though, once a day is too much unless you work outside or play a sport.

MarkedHeart − YTA Different people have different needs, and those needs change over time. I used to shower at least once a day, but if I did that now, my...

The Middle Ground Strategy: Some commenters suggested that a full shower isn’t the only way to stay fresh.

Tansy3 − YTA, kind of. She's right that it's healthy to not shower too much...

But, only showering twice a week does not necessarily mean that you only clean yourself twice a week.

You can keep your intimate and underarm regions clean by other means.

Holmes221bBSt − NAH honestly. There’s no one size fits all to showering...

However I will say cleaning your stinky/private bits daily is important & they both should be washing their pits, b__t, and genitals daily.

Zubinka − NTA, tell her, they can shower their whole bodies twice a week if they wish, but they absolutely need to wash some parts daily.

Social Grace and Awareness: A group of netizens felt the Redditor could have been more careful with her choice of words.

sunbuns − NTA but go ahead and apologize for making her feel bad/judged.

Tell her she doesn’t stink and clearly it works for her, but it might not work for her boyfriend.

merkk − YTA - You don't automatically need to shower every day...

You're just used to it and your automatic reaction is it's gross if you don't because that's what you grew up believing.

The Hygiene Red Flag: A few users remained firm that low-frequency washing is a dealbreaker.

Mr_Ham_Man80 − NTA. What do either of them expect when showering twice a week?

Does she think she smells like a summer rose down there on the same hygeine routine?

Hotcrossbuns72 − NTA and LMAOOOOO @ ‘how am I supposed to tell him his beloved sister has a boyfriend with a stinky penis? ’

The thought of the stench is making me gag.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

When you find yourself in a situation where you have accidentally judged a friend’s habit, the first step is to lean into empathy. It is helpful to remember that everyone’s biology is unique. If you have unintentionally hurt a friend, a sincere and gentle apology is the best way to move forward.

You can say something like, “I realized that my reaction was a bit impulsive, and I am sorry for making you feel judged. I value our friendship more than our different routines.” It is also useful to learn more about why people choose different habits. Understanding their perspective can help you avoid making the same mistake twice. Focus on keeping the peace and showing that you care about their feelings.

Conclusion

This story is a quirky reminder that the things we do in private can sometimes become public in the most awkward ways. While we might have strong opinions about hygiene, kindness is the most important part of any relationship. The Redditor and the sister are both learning how to navigate this sticky situation.

What is your personal take on the daily shower debate? Do you think the sister was too sensitive, or was the Redditor a bit too blunt? We would love to hear your thoughts on how to handle these delicate family secrets. Please share your experiences with us in the comments.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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