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Man Waits Until His Girlfriend Is 39 Weeks Pregnant To Reveal He’s Still Married, Then Backs Out

by Layla Bui
April 15, 2026
in Social Issues

It’s one of the worst moments any expectant mother could face, right before giving birth, when everything should be about the baby, her partner reveals a devastating truth: he’s still married. That’s exactly what happened to one woman when she learned that her boyfriend, who had promised to be there for the birth, had been hiding his marriage all along.

Now she’s faced with the overwhelming emotions of betrayal and uncertainty. How will she cope with the truth, and what steps will she take to protect herself and her child? Scroll down to see how she navigates this painful revelation and what comes next for her and her baby.

Days before giving birth, a woman discovers her boyfriend is still married and won’t be there, leaving her in shock and uncertain how to move forward

Man Waits Until His Girlfriend Is 39 Weeks Pregnant To Reveal He’s Still Married, Then Backs Out
not the actual photo

'I (23f) am days away from giving birth and my (37m) boyfriend just decided to tell me that he can't be at the birth--because he's married.'

I'm just in shock right now. Like I almost feel numb, but I really appreciate everyone here for your help.

I was really happy and looking forward to baby and I just feel really sad right now so I need to take a breather.

Everything is ready for the baby and I'm still excited to meet them, but Jesus.

So first off I know the age gap probably should've been a red flag but I was stupid.

We've been together for two years but he lives in a different city.

When I got pregnant, he said he was going to move to my city and we would move in together, he just needed to finalize some things with his ex...

He told me he was divorced when we met and I never had any reason to question it.

I knew that he had 2 kids with her as well, he told me the truth about that, just not that he wasn't divorced (or even separated).

So fast forward, I'm 39 weeks and he suddenly got uncommunicative which is less than ideal when you're literally about to give birth.

Bear in mind that he was supposed to have been fully moved in here a month ago (blamed covid).

Today I found out I am going to be induced on Monday unless baby decides to come out over the weekend so I contacted him

and I was like okay what's going on? And that's when he told me that he isn't actually separated or divorced,

he never told his wife about anything, and now he felt like he was backed into a corner.

I don't feel sorry for him for that because that's his own fault, but obviously literally four days

before giving birth isn't the time you want to get this news and I have no idea what to do now. Tell him to f__k off, obviously, but what else?

I feel like I mean I CAN take care of the baby but I was preparing to have a partner to take care of it with me, you know?

I don't even know what I'm asking for in terms of advice but any advice for moving forward and handling this is appreciated.

Edit: (in bold this time!) In addition to all kinds of weird comments I'm getting all kinds of weird PMs

so I think I need to just...take a deep breath, walk away, mindlessly binge watch something stupid for awhile and cry my face off tonight.

I called around to a few family lawyers in my area, and the advice I got from posting here has been absolutely brilliant,

but I'm running out of the sass/steam to deal with anything else that's happening here so I'm just going to check out.

I'm going to leave the legal business to the lawyers, pray that he didn't give me false information and I can actually find him,

and try to remember how much I was looking forward to being a mom before all of this happened.

I don't really care if people think it's fake or whatever because I gained exactly nothing (aside from the advice that I needed)

from making this post and I gain exactly nothing from arguing.

To everyone who shared their stories with me: thank you. thank you so much.

you feel like the dumbest f__king person in the world when this happens to you and knowing it happens to people

all the time is a weird comfort even when you wouldn't wish it on anybody.

I don't think of myself as a trashy or generally stupid person, just a person

who was blinded by love and naivety and has learned a really hard lesson a really hard way.

I doubt anything of monumental concern will happen between now and my Monday induction,

but once baby is here I will try to come back and let people know what's happening...

UPDATE on having a baby with my married boyfriend & not knowing he was married

First things first: I had my healthy baby girl on Monday evening. We were discharged shortly after birth due to Covid

so I have been just trying to adjust to everything. Her birth was a dream and I never want to do it again. Lol.

Second: I talked to his wife for over an hour yesterday. I guess he decided to tell her. She wasn't mad at me, thank God.

She'd had her suspicions but was trying to trust her husband which I understand.

She was so nice honestly and even though she isn't angry at me I still feel bad because she's such a nice lady.

She wanted to make sure I was doing okay and that I didn't need anything which made me cry because postpartum hormones are whack.

She's getting a divorce from him (good for her tbh). We are planning to meet up and talk s__t about him once the virus is over.

I have a lawyer and will establish custody and child support legally asap. He hasn't bothered to contact me at all but I don't particularly care.

I didn't want to leave anyone hanging even though it's not a huge update. Thank you to everyone who checked in. It means a lot.

EDIT: Also, I'm all set with everything baby needs! With things being as they are consider donating to a local diaper/formula bank.

Save your money for awards on this post too and put it toward that. Help babies and mamas who don't have the resources I do.

Facing betrayal from someone you trusted is not just hurtful, it’s a deeply destabilizing emotional experience. In your situation, this isn’t merely disappointment. You were preparing to welcome your child with someone you believed would be your partner and co‑parent.

The shock of discovering he was married, not divorced, and that he chose to leave you at a moment when you needed support most cuts to the core of trust. That kind of violation isn’t a minor setback, it’s what psychologists call betrayal trauma, a distinct and impactful form of interpersonal trauma.

Betrayal trauma occurs when someone on whom you depend, emotionally, socially, or practically, violates that trust. This theory, first articulated by Jennifer Freyd, explains why betrayal by a close and relied‑upon person can feel more traumatic than many other painful experiences. It isn’t just the lie itself, but the shattering of assumptions about safety and reliability.

Medical News Today, which bases its content on peer‑reviewed sources, describes betrayal trauma as an experience that can lead to emotional upheaval including shock, anger, anxiety, and difficulties with trust and emotional regulation. These responses are normal reactions to having your psychological safety violated by someone close.

This makes your emotional reaction, numbness, sadness, feeling blindsided, not a sign of weakness, but part of how the brain processes a profound breach of trust. Research indicates that betrayal illusions can disrupt not only our view of the world but also our ability to trust ourselves and others going forward.

Experts on relationships also note that deception and dishonesty erode trust at a deeper level than other forms of conflict.

Trust is the foundation of intimate partnerships, and when it is broken, it shakes your sense of reality about who the other person is and what they cared about. Open communication and honesty are foundational for relational security; without them, it becomes very difficult to feel truly safe again.

Right now, your emotional shock and confusion are absolutely understandable. You were preparing for birth, which is already a psychologically intense moment, and suddenly you’ve been forced to cope with grief, betrayal, and fear alone. It’s normal to want to step away, breathe, and create space before taking further action.

The fact that you are considering your child’s future and seeking legal guidance is a wise step. Family lawyers can help you understand your rights and plan how to secure support for your baby without having to confront this betrayal emotionally at this moment.

Your instinct to take a breather, reach out for support, and prioritize your own emotional stability before responding is aligned with what trauma‑informed professionals advise: you do not need to make critical decisions in the height of shock.

Finally, while betrayal is deeply painful, it does not define your future as a parent. A betrayal this severe likely made your boyfriend’s capacity for honest partnership clear. Your emotional pain is real and valid, but it does not reflect personal failure, only a painful life experience that is shared by many and can be processed and healed over time.

You’re already doing the right things by seeking support, documenting what happened, and taking care of yourself emotionally. Later, when the intensity subsides, therapy or counseling can help you work through the trauma from this betrayal, not only for your own wellbeing but for the emotional environment you build around your child.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These commenters emphasize the importance of contacting a lawyer immediately

[Reddit User] − OP, lawyer here. Do not take it upon yourself to tell his wife or start anything that might be later deemed “drama. ”

Yes, I’m aware it’s easy for me to say this laying here on my couch compared to what you’re going through.

Find a family lawyer immediately upon returning from the hospital. Do exactly as they say. Good luck in this s__tty situation.

LucienBloodmarch − Lawyer the F__K up. Get dna tests, make sure he PAYS YOU what he owes you.

This is horrible and I am so, so sorry he did this crap. He had no right. Do you have angbody else that can be there with you? Mom, friend,...

solidorange87 − It’s Thursday, you’ve got time to contact a lawyer before the birth. Can you do that today or tomorrow? Best wishes!!!

This group advises against contacting the wife directly, suggesting that it would create unnecessary drama and leave the OP vulnerable

RollingKatamari − This is absolutely awful, does his wife know about this?

You have your baby, you give that baby your last name and you get yourself a lawyer!

twep_dwep − Don't worry about his wife right now. Worry about having a safe pregnancy.

Do not delete any texts or emails from him, since they may eventually help you in court.

Once you've obtained an attorney you can figure out how you'll get child support.

kindness-prevails − Echoing what a lawyer said here... DO NOT CONTACT HIS WIFE.

It would feel GREAT and he deserves all the pain he’s about to get, but that just gives her time to lawyer up and s__ew you over.

Get a lawyer first and serve him (and her) the child support payments.

You have the power here, don’t give it up by playing your cards too early.

These commenters stress the necessity of pursuing child support and documenting everything to ensure financial stability and justice

SmegmaTrader − The wife has to know, you need child support.

steppesandsand − you very well should try for financial support. Document everything.

“Backed into a corner” I hate “men” like this. Weak, blame their choices on pressure. Noone was holding a gun.

dabulls508 − Sounds like suing for child support is a good idea. I would gut his a**.

This group offers practical advice for managing life with a baby on their own, sharing tips to make daily tasks easier

run-and-repeat-2018 − I think you’ve gotten loads of good advice in legal terms

but I just wanted to add stuff that could make raising the baby a bit easier on your own.

1. Get a bounce chair they are amazing I can pop my son in it so I can eat or actually use the toilet.

Then you can take the bouncer into the bathroom with you and the baby can see you when you shower

so you can actually shower without the baby crying for you.

2. Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps but I found I couldn’t as I had a huge list of jobs to do and it stressed me out.

So I just did the bare minimum I needed on his first nap and then any other naps I was relaxed and could nap.

3. I got a sling so I could baby wear my son when trying to get things done around the house

and he wanted to sleep it made it easier to get around and do things.

4. Dry shampoo - honestly the first few months I didn’t have time to wash my hair so it saved me.

Honestly it is hard and I had a partner technically but it is doable I hope the birth goes well

and I’m really sorry this is happening it’s a awful situation, I hope you’re ok.

P__Squared − Oh man, every negative belief I have about relationships with large age gaps gets confirmed once again.

Re: what to do, other than getting child support from him there's not much else you can do.

Do you really want this guy in your life any more than absolutely necessary?

[Reddit User] − OP I wouldn't take on the responsability of telling his wife.

That's rage directed at you in a vunerable time & you don't need that noise. That is his mess let him deal with it...f__k him.

Lawyer up post haste, like today & have all further communication go through them.

What would you do in this situation? Should she continue trying to communicate with her boyfriend, or is it time to cut him out entirely? Share your thoughts below!

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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