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Boss Gets Frustrated After Assistant Is Late Every Day, but Employees Debate If She’s Too Strict

by Leona Pham
July 27, 2026
in Social Issues

Being a manager often means deciding where to draw the line between understanding someone’s situation and holding them accountable.

A few minutes may seem insignificant, but repeated small issues can become frustrating when they affect daily operations and workplace expectations.

One business owner shared her frustration with an employee who arrives late every single day.

The delays are usually only a few minutes, but the employee’s role requires her to be available right when the office opens.

The manager has already spoken with her several times, and although the employee agrees she needs to improve, the pattern continues.

Her partner believes she is being taken advantage of by being too lenient, while she wonders whether she is overreacting to something minor.

Scroll down to see whether readers think this is a reasonable workplace concern or an unfair expectation.

Manager struggles with whether to discipline her assistant for repeatedly arriving late despite warnings

Boss Gets Frustrated After Assistant Is Late Every Day, but Employees Debate If She’s Too Strict
not the actual photo

'AITAH or is my assistant in the wrong?'

I (46F) want to know if I, in fact, ATAH? My assistant (31F) comes in late

every day. Every. Single. Day! It is infuriating!

My BF tells me I should let it go, but it’s constantly 7-10 minutes. In the

recent week she got it down to 3 minutes late. We have had multiple

conversations, and though she has acknowledge the fact she is late, says

she will change it, next day is late again.

My point is when she accepted the job she knew the location and the

hours. My opinion is if your working hours begin at 8AM, 8:01 is late.

Especially when part of your daily responsibilities are opening the door for

visitors and answering calls and 8AM is our stated opening time. (Don’t get

me wrong, I understand traffic accidents and delays on occasion but not daily.)

I have clearly defined my definition of being on time, so she knows my

expectations. Internally, I wish I could just say leave 10 minutes earlier, or if

you have time for a makeup routine in the morning you also have the

option to prioritize timeliness at your place of employment.

She doesn’t know her partner has told me they think I’m too nice and my

employee takes advantage of me. Her partner confirms she leaves too late

to make it to work on time. They have since broken up, but this was told to

me when they were in the honeymoon phase, so I believe they were telling

me the truth.

Do I let this go, or is it reasonable when you hire someone and they know

the working hours they adhere to office policy?

Small workplace frustrations often become difficult because the visible issue is rarely the only thing bothering someone.

A few minutes may seem insignificant, but repeated behavior can represent something deeper: reliability, respect, and whether expectations are being taken seriously.

The OP’s frustration is understandable because this is not a one-time delay.

Her assistant’s arrival time directly affects the beginning of the workday, especially since part of the role involves opening the office and handling visitors and calls.

From the OP’s perspective, the problem is not the difference between 8:00 and 8:07; it is the repeated pattern after multiple conversations.

She feels that she clearly communicated expectations and gave opportunities for improvement, yet nothing changed.

However, another perspective is that the OP may be focusing heavily on the clock without fully examining the overall performance of the employee.

A person being a few minutes late every day can be frustrating, but the appropriate response depends on the broader context.

Is the assistant excellent at her job, staying late when needed, meeting deadlines, and handling responsibilities well?

Or is the lateness part of a larger pattern of unreliability? The answer changes how the situation should be handled.

This perspective suggests that the OP is not unreasonable for caring about punctuality.

If the workplace opens at 8:00 and the assistant’s responsibilities begin at that time, arriving after opening is technically late.

The issue is not whether seven minutes is a long time; it is whether the employee is meeting the requirements of the role.

At the same time, repeatedly hinting that the employee should wake up earlier, reduce her morning routine, or leave home sooner may not solve the actual workplace issue.

A manager’s role is not to control how an employee organizes their personal life.

The conversation should remain focused on job expectations: “Your scheduled start time is 8:00, and arriving late affects these responsibilities. How can we make sure this improves?”

The OP does not need to ignore the problem, but she also does not need to treat it as a personal insult.

A professional approach would be to document the pattern, restate the expectation clearly, and explain the consequences if it continues.

Being understanding is valuable, but effective leadership also requires boundaries.

A good manager can be kind while still expecting people to show up when they agreed to show up.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

These commenters recommended formal warnings and documenting repeated lateness

Lostandfound__ − As a former employer, I would write her up and start a

paper trail. I would usually start with a verbal warning form and have them

sign it. Then an official written warning. And then termination

didthefabrictear − 5 minutes later every now and then is fine. Late because

of traffic is fine (provided they text). Any half decent owner/manager has

zero issue with that. But later every single day, that’s a choice. You

tolerating that behaviour from an employee is also choice. It’s time for a

‘this is the final warning’ conversation.

Here the script for you: ‘I’m going to assume that your inability to arrive at

work at the correct time is an indication that you don’t really want to be

working here. Which is fine, but unfortunately that means I’ll need to look

for someone who does want this role, and WILL turn up on time, every day.

You are an adult, this is a workplace, you don’t get to stroll on in whenever

you want, and by continuously doing that I can only assume you have no

respect for me, the job, or quite frankly yourself. If you don’t want to be

here, please tell me right now and we’ll make this your last week.

If you do want to be here, you either make a decision to change your

morning routine to arrive here on time, or we’ll make this your last week. ”

Then put that conversation in writing, and have her sign off so there's a paper trail.

Worried-Buy-7416 − NTA If your job starts at a certain time you are

expected to be there on time. If you know she takes advantage of it, let her

know if it happens again you’ll write her up and she’ll be gone after X

number of times. I would start interviewing replacements asap.

DoobieDoo0718 − In this job market there are probably hundreds of

people who would k__l their aunt Martha for a job. Time to document. Verbal, written, out.

These Redditors believed OP was being taken advantage of by allowing the behavior

simplyexistingnow − NTA. Once in awhile but everyday nah.

Admirable_Amazon − NTA. This isn’t a small issue and your partner is wrong

to tell you to just “let it go. ” You are letting her walk all over you. There’s

responsibility with a job. Ones that are clear to her and you’ve clearly

defined repeatedly. To have her continue to not meet these expectations

and allow her no consequences is on you.

What incentive does she have to be on time?

donname10 − Nta. Its true. You're too nice. People will take advantage.

These users suggested adjusting the schedule so employees arrive before opening time

ZookeepergameSoft358 − NTA but there is a solution. If she is expected to

be opening doors and answering calls at 8, the start time should be 7:30.

She has improved, which is great, but an on time expectation is reasonable.

If she isn’t a morning person, this might not be the job for her.

redditset6o − Was going to say YTA until you said it's her job to open the

doors and answering calls. She should be there 5 mins early in that case,

even if she leaves 5 mins early at the end of the day.

talhambra − If the store opens at 8 the employee should not be arriving at

8. The start time needs to be 7:30-7:45. You would need to pay them for

the extra time or have them leave 15-30 minuted early at the end of their

shift. If they are late during this time start docking pay by 15 minute increments.

These commenters argued that small delays may be acceptable if the employee performs well

omnixe-13c − As someone who employees a lot of people, I will say YTA …

unless your employee doesn’t ever make up the time. If your admin

sometimes responds after hours or pitches in when needed, does it really

matter if she’s late? Is she holding up your work day? Can she make it up at end of day?

EDIT: I just read that your admin is supposed to be opening the office and

answering calls. In that case, NTA because it does impede your work if you

have to open the office. Her work hours need to be 7:30-4:30. That gives

her time to unlock the office.

I personally couldn’t care less if my employees are a few mins late or leave

a little early so long as they get their work done. I’d rather an A+ employee

who is late 10-15 than a C employee who is on time.

The reality is it’s rare to find an A+ employee who is never late, available

when I need them, and doesn’t ever get sick. I had an assistant who would

sometimes take longer lunches to get errands done or left early. I never

cared because she also was available on emergencies at night and weekends.

I was flexible on her time so she was flexible with me.

GargantuanGreenGoat − What time do you get in? You’re clearly already

there to note that she’s three minutes late, so why is it her job to open the

door? Are you too good to open a door?   Is she good at her job otherwise?

Three to seven minutes isn’t something to get so worked up over, f__king relax. YTA

TrainTraditional6686 − Does she stay late? Work through lunch when

needed? Otherwise a good employee? If yes, you are the reason women

hate working for other women. Control and micromanagement issues

instead of focusing on the big picture and getting the job done.

The conflict comes down to a small daily habit that represents a bigger workplace issue: reliability.

While being a few minutes late may seem minor, consistently arriving after the official start time can affect responsibilities, especially when the role requires opening doors and handling early tasks.

At the same time, some people may see the OP’s frustration as disproportionate if the overall job performance is strong.

Do you think repeated 5–10 minute lateness is enough to warrant action, or should flexibility matter more in the workplace?

How would you handle an employee who keeps promising to improve but doesn’t change? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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