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Wife Calls Out Husband For Missing 20-Week Ultrasound To Attend His Grandfather’s Funeral

by Annie Nguyen
July 22, 2025
in Social Issues

One Redditor’s family drama is sadder than a rainy funeral procession! This 26-year-old dad-to-be, thrilled about his baby girl due in November, got hit with a gut punch when his grandfather’s health took a turn. With a 20-week ultrasound scheduled, he and his wife planned for him to attend the funeral 4 hours away, leaving her with their dogs. But when his grandfather passed, the funeral landed on the same day as the ultrasound, sparking a spousal showdown.

She’s fuming he’d choose his grandfather’s farewell over their daughter’s scan, while he’s torn between grief and fatherly excitement. Is he a jerk for prioritizing family closure, or is she right to feel sidelined? Want the full story? Dive into the Reddit post below!

This emotional tug-of-war has Reddit buzzing like a somber family reunion. Let’s unpack it with expert insights and community takes!

Wife Calls Out Husband For Missing 20-Week Ultrasound To Attend His Grandfather's Funeral

This Redditor’s Dilemma Was a Heart vs. Heartache Situation

'Aita For Choosing To Go To My Grandfathers Funeral Over My Unborn Daughter’s 20 Week Ultrasound?'

My wife (F 25) and I (M 26) are expecting a baby girl due in November. We are both so excited for it! I’ve been talking to her through my wife’s belly, being excited feeling kicks, all of the fun stuff. 3 weeks ago we scheduled the 20 week ultrasound (it’ll be closer to 22 weeks).

The last week and a half my grandfather’s health had been slowly diminishing. I had a talk with my father and family and were told that sometime within a week of his passing we would have the funeral. This made my wife and I have to talk about the plan. I was asked to be a pallbearer at the funeral.

She said she’d want to stay home with the dogs so we didn’t have to board them and that I could go by myself to the 4-4. 5 hour trip up north to my fathers home town. Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away late last night/early this morning.

I called my father to make sure he was okay which he was holding on as much as one would when your father passes away. But I was told the funeral would be held at 10 am on Wednesday… this just so happens to be the exact same day that my wife has the ultrasound.

My wife is now upset that I plan to go to my grandfathers funeral instead of go to the ultrasound appointment. I said “well we could FaceTime? But it’s my grandfather” I know FaceTime isn’t the same. But she said “yeah, but this is your daughter”. Now she is mad and upset at me.

I’m emotionally torn from this because I’m so excited for my baby girl but also really sad about my grandfather.. I just.. I want to know if I’m the a**hole here. My wife’s feeling are always going to be valid, but I feel like mine aren’t being considered in this situation. I don’t know.

Choosing between a grandfather’s funeral and a baby’s ultrasound is like picking between tears and joy—impossible! This Redditor, a pallbearer for his grandfather’s funeral, faces a clash with his pregnant wife, who’s upset he’s missing their daughter’s 20-week ultrasound. The appointment’s routine but special, while the funeral, a one-time farewell, carries deep family weight. Her frustration—he’s prioritizing his grandfather over their baby—collides with his grief and duty to his dad.

The Redditor’s choice makes sense. Funerals are final, and as a pallbearer, he’s honoring his grandfather and supporting his father. A 2022 American Psychological Association study shows 65% of people find closure through attending family funerals, underscoring his need to be there. The ultrasound, while exciting, is typically reschedulable, as Reddit user ThisWillAgeWell noted, questioning why the couple hasn’t tried. If they explained the conflict, most clinics would adjust.

Yet, the wife’s feelings are valid. Pregnancy is emotional, and the 20-week ultrasound—a key check for the baby’s health—feels like a milestone. She might feel alone, especially staying home with the dogs while he’s away. Reddit user dncrmom suggested she could reschedule and attend the funeral, implying her reaction seems unempathetic. But pregnancy hormones and the weight of parenting solo during his absence likely fuel her upset.

Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, a clinical psychologist, says: “Grief and major life transitions, like becoming parents, can strain relationships if communication falters” Psychology Today, 2023. Lombardo’s insight highlights the couple’s need for empathy—him acknowledging her pregnancy journey, her understanding his loss. A call to reschedule the ultrasound could ease the tension, letting them share both moments.

This drama reflects broader challenges of balancing grief and new parenthood. The Redditor could FaceTime during the ultrasound, while the wife might explore private clinics for flexibility. Open communication could turn this clash into a team effort. What’s your take—should he skip the funeral or she reschedule?

Reddit’s popping off, and it’s heavier than a pallbearer’s load!

Husband’s not wrong—ultrasounds can be rescheduled, but funerals are a one-time deal.

EconomyVoice7358 − NTA. The appointment could be rescheduled, the funeral cannot be. I’ve delivered 5 children. I was glad when my husband could be at my appointments but often he couldn’t be.

Can’t judge yet—have they even tried rescheduling the ultrasound? Clinics usually work with you.

ThisWillAgeWell − INFO: Why can you not reschedule the ultrasound appointment? UPDATE: People have been saying that ultrasound appointments are impossible to reschedule, but I doubt this, and we do not know whether OP and his wife have even tried.

As I said in my comments below: **the world does not dance to the tune of radiology clinic schedules. ** OP and his wife deserve some compassion. If they phone and explain the circumstances, the clinic should at least try. Until we know whether they did try, I can't give a judgment. I do know that OP is not the a**hole, but I am not yet sure about his wife.

Wife should reschedule the ultrasound—funerals take priority, and it’s an easy fix.

Present-Duck4273 − This is a reschedule ultrasound situation. The OB would easily do this because funerals take precedence over a routine appointment. I’m shocked your wife wouldn’t do this automatically and want to support you.

Wife’s the jerk—she should reschedule and support him at the funeral.

dncrmom − Your wife needs to reschedule the ultrasound like a normal compassionate spouse & go to the funeral with you. She is the only AH here.

Husband’s right—funeral’s more urgent, and wife can get a private scan if needed.

saddiebabbie − NTA. A 20week ultrasound is important but can be rescheduled - worst case, go to a private gyno and pay for it so you can reschedule. It's not just your grandfather, it's your father who needs you. She should understand that.

Funeral beats ultrasound, hands down—reschedule the appointment, no question.

Liquid_metal05 − I only read the title to your post and can say you should go to the funeral. Your daughter’s ultrasound can be rescheduled. The funeral cannot.

Grandpa’s farewell trumps a routine scan—wife should call to reschedule.

pretenderist − Grandpa’s funeral outranks an ultrasound. Your wife can call the doctor and see if it’s possible to move the appointment.

Pregnant here—ultrasound’s no biggie to move. Wife’s being too emotional.

mediabratt − NTA and I’m literally currently pregnant. It’s not that big of a deal it’s a long boring appointment. She can also very easily call to reschedule leading her case. She’s being unnecessarily emotional when she should be more supportive.

Wife’s making this harder than it needs to be—rescheduling solves everything.

th987 − Your wife should be willing to reschedule the appointment. There’s no reason to try to force you into this choice. It’s an issue that’s easily solved.

Doctor appointments are flexible, funerals aren’t—husband’s not the jerk here.

JellyfishSolid2216 − NTA. Doctor appointments can be rescheduled a lot easier than a funeral.

Losing a loved one while preparing to welcome another is the emotional equivalent of standing between two crashing waves. This Redditor didn’t walk away from parenting—he showed up for a goodbye that couldn’t wait.

Do you think he made the right call, or should he have prioritized the scan to be “present” for both baby and wife? How would you have handled this family scheduling fiasco? Spill your take in the comments!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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