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Heartbroken Stepdad Who Loved Stepchildren As His Own Gifts Trips And Cars But Refuses Them After Breakup

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A man invested ten years raising his partner’s kids – lavish Disney adventures from Vegas to NYC, loving them as his own – until the breakup erased him. Now the teens flaunt “band dad” online while ghosting their true father figure.

The Redditor set firm boundaries: no more fancy car if he’s cut out. His ex rages it was a “deal,” but guilt gnaws over the kids’ needs. This raw tale of loyalty lost and lines drawn resonates with blended-family heartaches.

Online debates rage on Reddit’s AITA over betrayal, tough choices, and replacement’s sharp pain.

Stepdad ends car gift after breakup as teens ignore him for new “band dad”.

Heartbroken Stepdad Who Loved Stepchildren As His Own Gifts Trips And Cars But Refuses Them After Breakup
Not the actual photo.

'AITH. I refused to give my Ex's kids the car I bought for them after we split up?'

Was with this woman for ten years. Took the kids to Disney all the time and other trips from Vegas to NYC as well.

I loved the kids and treated them like they were mine.

Anyway we split up and my ex moved in with a band dad she met at the girls school.

Well after this she asked if I was still giving the girls the car I bought for them. I said No. But not because the split per se.

More so that the girls posted pictures of the new guy all over Instagram and Facebook

yet refused to respond to my texts to take them out to dinner or just to catch up.

Since they cut me out I decided not to give them the car. Ex wife is p__sed about it and makes it a deal.

In a way I feel bad because I know they need a car but I have a bad taste in my mouth because I feel like I was likely being...

and I hate how the kids act like the last ten years never happened. Kids 17 and 16.

Our Redditor invested ten prime years as a father figure, whisking the girls (now 17 and 16) on glamorous adventures and planning ahead with not one, but two cars – a practical ride and a zippy BMW convertible for the younger.

The split with their mom, who swiftly shacked up with a school band parent, flipped the script.

When the ex demanded the vehicles post-breakup, he refused, citing the kids’ Instagram glow-ups with the new guy and their total ignore on his dinner invites.

It’s less about the breakup pettiness and more about feeling discarded after a decade of dad-duty.

Flip the perspective: the teens might be navigating their own whirlwind – loyalty to mom, teenage awkwardness, or just prioritizing a fresh start.

Mom’s fury could stem from logistical panic. Reliable transport for high schoolers isn’t cheap, especially in a single-parent pivot. Yet the Redditor’s hurt runs deep. He suspects infidelity tainted the end, and the silence screams ingratitude.

Boundaries aren’t villainy. They’re self-preservation in a world where “bonus dad” often means bonus heartbreak without the legal perks.

Zoom out to the bigger picture: stepparent relationships are a minefield of emotional investment with zero guarantees. According to a 2023 report from the American Psychological Association, about 16% of U.S. children live in blended families, where non-biological parents face heightened risks of disconnection during separations.

This Redditor’s story echoes a common social snag. Unconditional love clashing with conditional reciprocity, amplified in the digital age where social media likes replace real check-ins.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute, once noted in a Greater Good Magazine article: “One such moment is not that important, but if you’re always choosing to turn away, then trust erodes in a relationship – very gradually, very slowly”

Here, the scale tipped hard negative with zero outreach from the girls. It underscores why our Redditor’s stance resonates, without reciprocity, generosity curdles into resentment.

Neutral advice? If contact resumes genuinely (not car-motivated), a phased approach like supervised drives or shared custody talks could test waters. Otherwise, selling the cars funds his passport-stamping therapy. After all, self-care isn’t selfish.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some advise cutting off all contact and support since they’re not his kids.

RNGinx3 − NTA. Tell her to hold her hand out to band dad from now on, but you're done being her and her kids' ATM.

Ironmike11B − NTA. No longer your circus, no longer your monkeys. They cut you out and have a new 'dad'. Block them all.

SeraphiM0352 − Not your kids and being disrespected. Block the ex or get a cease and desist then block her Ez NTA

Others support selling the cars and directing requests to the new dad.

[Reddit User] − Nta Tell her to ask the band dad.

Magdovus − If she sends you a message about it just reply saying "but I don't have kids"

[Reddit User] − NTA. They want to cut you out but still expect cars? F__k that. Not your kids, someone else can deal with them.

SnooWords4839 − NTA - Sell the car and take a trip for yourself!

A user shares personal stories of lasting bonds despite similar splits.

Hirider34_2023 − My ex’s kids still contact me and even tell people I’m the man who raised them.

They call to just talk and tell me happy Father’s Day or happy birthday and if I’m in town ask me over to eat.

They hold their mother responsible for her cheating. I’m even grandpa to two of the kids children. I’m sorry this as happened to you. But you ANTA

Another see it as teaching consequences for poor behavior.

mustang19671967 − They are learning BS behaviour from mom, and expect s__tty behaviour gets you gifts.

Best lesson here , s__t behaviour equals consequences I’m sorry and even if they call or text no cars until at least a year if this

Especially, OP also comments and expresses lingering emotional attachment but affirm the decision.

nolazach − I guess a part of me still feels for them. It's hard to be a father figure to kids from kindergarten to the almost end of high school

and then just poof they are gone. I have traveled a bit. I sold the car that was in both our names

so I'm using the car I bought the kids for now but it is for sale. I also had got aonther car I was fixing up for the younger kid...

But I got that right after the split when I was still optimistic. As far as myself I travel to take my mind off of it, collecting passport stamps is...

Yes if the girls just called every once in a while or said anything to me in the last few months I would have given them the car.

But I feel I made the right choice.

In the end, this Redditor’s car clampdown feels like a poignant full stop on a chapter that deserved a warmer epilogue – teaching teens that ghosting has real-world revs.

Do you think his refusal was a fair boundary after a decade of dad vibes, or did heartbreak cloud practical kindness for kids in need?

How would you balance being a sibling’s keeper (or step-sib stand-in) when loyalty goes one-way? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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