One afternoon, a colleague revealed her young son had been suffering severe nosebleeds for days and warned he might die without prompt medical care. She then asked the carpool group to finish work 45 minutes early the next day so she could drive him to the doctor immediately. When the others hesitated and offered an alternative, she became furious, accusing them of cruelty and claiming she would reschedule the appointment instead.
The group stood firm, unwilling to leave early without managerial approval, especially since the child’s condition seemed urgent yet she had waited days to act. The disagreement left everyone tense and confused.
A carpool group refused to leave work early for a coworker’s child’s doctor appointment.
The coworker – let’s call her S as OP said so – clearly had a legitimate concern for her child’s health. Constant, heavy nosebleeds are no joke and can be scary for any parent. But the way she handled it left her carpool buddies scratching their heads.
The group’s initial plan was actually pretty reasonable: S would drive her own car, everyone rides together in the morning, and in the afternoon the two coworkers without kids would find another ride home. That way, S could leave whenever she needed to get her son to the doctor, no one had to beg their manager for early clock-out, and the carpool arrangement stayed intact.
Yet S exploded when she heard this, accusing them of being heartless and even saying she’d reschedule the appointment just to “not inconvenience” them, even though she’d just claimed her child’s life was at risk.
From an outside perspective, the reaction feels disproportionate. If a child’s condition is truly life-threatening, most parents would prioritize the ER immediately, not wait for the next day’s commute schedule. Several Redditors pointed out the same thing: if the situation was that dire, why not just drive separately from the start and handle it independently?
This situation also shines a light on a bigger issue: the tricky balance between work responsibilities and family emergencies. According to a 2023 Harris Poll survey, 49% of U.S. employees feel nervous about requesting time off, often fearing negative perceptions from their boss or missing out on career opportunities. That fear is real, especially in workplaces without flexible policies.
Brittany Lambert, assistant professor at Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business, has spoken about this tension in a 2025 article for Fast Company: “The same people who said that [the workers] are going to be more productive also said that they’re going to be less promotable because they think they’re less dedicated to work.”
Her insight applies here. S may have been afraid to ask for time off or even to drive separately earlier, which led to her piling the responsibility onto her coworkers.
Still, expecting others to adjust their workday for a non-emergency doctor’s appointment, especially when the group had already offered a workable solution crossed a boundary.
The health of a child is always the top priority, but so is respecting other people’s work obligations. If a situation is truly urgent, the best move is often to handle it directly, whether that means taking a personal day, using sick leave, or driving alone for a while. Open communication with a manager early on can prevent these kinds of misunderstandings.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Some people argue the coworker should drive herself separately since she has her own car and child-related needs.
Some people question the coworker’s behavior and suggest she may be overreacting or lying.
Others seek clarification on what exactly the coworker is upset about.
In the end, this story is a reminder that even the most well-meaning coworkers can’t always bend their schedules for someone else’s family emergency, especially when reasonable alternatives exist.
Do you think the Redditor was right to stand their ground, or should they have tried harder to help? Would you have left work early for a coworker’s child? Drop your thoughts below!
