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Dad Forces College Daughter To Babysit 3 Times A Week, Calls Her “Privileged” When She Says It’s Hurting Her Studies

by Annie Nguyen
November 4, 2025
in Social Issues

Raising a family while balancing work and personal life is no small feat, and parents often rely on older siblings to pitch in with household responsibilities. For one father, this meant asking his 20-year-old college-student daughter, who lives at home rent-free, to help with chores and occasionally watch her younger brothers.

It seemed like a fair trade for the support he provides. But tensions flared when his daughter pushed back, saying babysitting was too stressful and cut into her studies. The father, who juggled school and parenting in his past, felt she was being ungrateful.

The disagreement escalated when she confided in her aunt, sparking a debate about fairness and family duties. Curious about who’s in the right? Scroll down to see what the internet had to say about this family conflict.

College student living rent-free with dad, tasked with cooking, cleaning, and babysitting twins three times weekly, says it stresses her studies. Dad dismisses her, causing family tension

Dad Forces College Daughter To Babysit 3 Times A Week, Calls Her “Privileged” When She Says It's Hurting Her Studies
Not the actual photo

AITA for not paying my daughter to babysit her younger siblings?

So my 20 year old daughter is currently a college student.

She lives in my house free of rent.

I only ask her to do a few things around the house from time to time, like cooking and cleaning.

Typical things you're expected to do on a daily basis anyways.

Occasionally she has to watch over her younger brothers

since I may be busy with work or when I need a break to hang out with my girlfriend.

My daughter recently spoke up to me

about how she feels I'm putting too much of a workload on her back which I don't see how.

She told me she's okay with cooking and cleaning around the house,

but having to watch over her siblings was annoying & stressful

and that it's taking away from her studies.

That pissed me off because I myself went to school

while having to pay bills & take care of her as a baby alongside my ex-wife.

I told her she was acting very privileged and that if I could do it, so could she.

She didn't like that very much and stormed off into her room.

Well she went behind my back and told my sister

about how "bad" I was treating her.

My sister is very kind & gullible at times,

so she called me and said the least I could do

was give her an allowance for the chores I make her do.

I explained why I felt that wasn't necessary

and she told me not to compare my situation to my Daughter's

since apparently I put myself in the position I was in back then

which I guess is a fair argument.

But since she is living in my house rent free and I'm paying for her college,

I feel that in of itself should count as an allowance. So I just wanted to ask

whether I'm wrong for not wanting to pay her extra money to do basic chores.

The situation described, where a father expects his 20-year-old college-student daughter to babysit her younger siblings without compensation while living rent-free, raises concerns about familial expectations and fairness.

The daughter, who also handles daily chores like cooking and cleaning, expressed that babysitting her five-year-old twin brothers three times a week disrupts her studies.

This led to tension when her father dismissed her concerns by comparing his past struggles to hers.

This scenario highlights the issue of unpaid familial labor, particularly when it conflicts with personal responsibilities like education. According to a 2021 study by the American Psychological Association, college students balancing family obligations with academics often experience heightened stress, which can negatively impact academic performance.

The daughter’s role as a de facto caregiver, without compensation or consideration for her schedule, risks undermining her academic success.

Experts emphasize that clear boundaries and mutual respect are essential in family dynamics involving shared responsibilities. Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, notes that expecting young adults to prioritize family duties over their own goals can strain relationships and foster resentment.

The father’s argument that providing rent-free housing and college tuition offsets the need for payment overlooks the emotional and time costs of childcare.

A report by Care.com highlights that the cost of hiring a babysitter can be considerable, indicating that the daughter’s unpaid labor represents a meaningful financial saving for the father.

While familial support is common, experts from the National Council on Family Relations suggest that parents should negotiate expectations with adult children, especially when tasks like childcare interfere with their primary responsibilities.

For resolution, the father should engage in open dialogue with his daughter to understand her stress and academic demands. A compromise, such as reducing babysitting frequency or hiring an external caregiver, could alleviate her burden.

Offering a small stipend for babysitting, as suggested by the father’s sister, could also acknowledge her efforts without framing it as an entitlement.

For the daughter, calmly articulating her study schedule and proposing specific adjustments may help establish fair expectations. This preserves family harmony while prioritizing her education.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These Redditors slammed the father for expecting his daughter to parent his kids, stressing it’s his responsibility

eikerir − Reminds the dad that caring for children was his own choice and responsibility, not his daughter’s.

reddite69420 − Calls out the father for forcing his daughter to act

as a parent while he goes out, predicting she’ll cut contact.

amberallday − Points out he’s treating his daughter

like a live-in nanny doing daily chores and babysitting, labeling him unreasonable.

PelicanCanNew − Accuses the dad of exploiting his daughter as unpaid labor

and says a good father would want his kids to have it better, not worse.

keyboardtears − Simply says: hire a babysitter.

Catisbackthatsafact − Argues that babysitting isn’t a “chore” but a stressful parental duty,

not something to impose on a college student.

bumblebee7310 − Criticizes the “I had it hard, so my kids should too” logic as proof of bad parenting.

These users urged listening to her stress and suggested compromises like hiring a babysitter or reducing babysitting frequency

[Reddit User] − Says the issue isn’t allowance but empathy;

the father must listen when his daughter says she’s overwhelmed.

LordMarcel − Suggests discussing how often babysitting happens

and respecting her plans instead of forcing her to cancel them.

liejusan − Notes it’s a cultural difference but insists parentsshouldn’t overburden children and should find compromise.

Top_Barnacle9669 − Emphasizes that the father’s refusal to hear her struggles is pure selfishness.

These commenters questioned the father’s “occasional” babysitting claim, noting that three times weekly for 5-year-old twins is significant

MarrkDaviid − Asks what “occasional” means and says the comparison between his past struggles and hers is invalid.

honeyghouls − Calls the claim of “occasional babysitting” absurd

when it’s three times a week with twin 5-year-olds, telling him to hire help.

This college student’s standoff with her dad over babysitting duties is a spicy mix of family loyalty and personal boundaries. Was she right to call out the unfair load, or should she grin and bear it for free rent?

Would you juggle parenting your siblings while chasing a degree, or draw a line in the sand? Her story reminds us: family help is great, but respect for individual limits is better. What’s your take on this household drama? Spill it below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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