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Father Furious After Wife Fails To Check On 3-Year-Old During Bloody Nose Incident

by Layla Bui
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

Sometimes, parenting isn’t just exhausting, it can be downright shocking. That’s what happened to this father one late night when he stepped out of the shower, expecting a quiet household, only to find his three-year-old crying and struggling alone.

What he thought were tears soon revealed themselves as blood from a first, alarming nosebleed.

Frustration flared on both sides. The father was furious that his wife hadn’t checked on their child while he showered, while she was annoyed at his expectations.

The situation left both of them questioning boundaries, responsibilities, and what it really means to share the load in parenting. Scroll down to see how this chaotic, midnight incident unfolded and what the internet thinks about who’s in the wrong.

A dad finds his son bleeding after taking a midnight shower and confronts his wife for not helping

Father Furious After Wife Fails To Check On 3-Year-Old During Bloody Nose Incident
not the actual photo

'I took a shower at midnight while my wife was watching TV. Who’s the AH?'

My wife was sitting in the recliner watching her iPad right outride the kids bedrooms.

I figure I’m in the clear to take a long shower.

When I turn the shower off I hear my 3 year old crying and screaming for daddy. I hurry.

As I’m going through the family room, I look at my wife (sitting watching her iPad) and say,

“You couldn’t calm him down?” She says, “No, I tried three times.”

I go into his room and pick him up. He immediately stops crying and starts trying to catch his breath.

I feel what I thought were tears dripping down my shoulder.

I think: “poor guy has been so upset for so long; long enough for my wife to come in three times.”

I lay him in bed and start tucking him in. He says, I have a mess.

I figure tears and snot. I grab wipes and tissue, and turn the flashlight on my phone on.

That’s when I realized he was covered in blood.

His first bloody nose, and it was bad: all over his face, arms, clothes, stuffy, blanket - and I’m covered.

Those were not tears dripping down my shoulder.

I get him cleaned up, and asked my wife to shout the bloody items while I get him cleaned up.

I’m tucking him in and I ask why he didn’t let mommy help.

He said, “Mommy didn’t check on me. Somebody never checked on me.”

Now my wife is pissed at me for me expecting her to help.

I’m pissed at her for not taking care of our son while I’m in the shower and she’s watching her iPad,

and I’m pissed that she’s pissed I expected her to help. So, who’s the AH??

When young children wake at night, and parents are already exhausted or distracted, even well-intended caregivers can struggle to respond appropriately.

Studies show that sleep deprivation, common among parents of toddlers, undermines emotional regulation, stress tolerance and ability to respond calmly to emergencies. (Sleep Foundation)

In many families where children wake frequently or experience sleep problems, tensions between parents rise. Parental stress often increases, affecting patience, responsiveness, and the capacity to manage unexpected situations effectively. (in.bgu.ac.il)

In the scenario described, the father showered during the night while the child was sleeping nearby and the mother was watching TV. When the child cried and later suffered a bloody nose which the father discovered, everyone was already operating under fatigue and disrupted sleep patterns.

Under these conditions, the mother’s repeated unsuccessful attempts to calm the child might reflect diminished alertness or delayed reaction, not intentional neglect.

Sleep researcher insights clarify why such incidents escalate emotionally. Sleep deprivation degrades one’s ability to stay calm when startled or stressed; reactions may be slower, judgment clouded, and emotional responses harder to regulate.

In a household with a young child, those vulnerabilities increase the risk that a minor issue becomes a crisis.

Given this research, it’s understandable that both parents feel upset. The father’s anger stems from fear and protective instinct when he discovered the severity of the child’s bleeding, and frustration that he had expected his wife to monitor the child while he was showering.

The mother’s defensiveness likely arises from sleep fatigue and the shock of a painful situation unfolding under her watch. Both reactions may be less about neglect or malice, more about stress and depleted capacity.

In terms of “who’s the AH,” this evidence suggests that the problem lies not in character or intent but in human limitations under stress.

Rather than blame, what’s needed is communication, empathy, and an agreed plan for handling nighttime parenting, especially when both parents need rest.

Setting a rotation for who handles night calls, agreeing on backup plans, maybe even putting the child’s crib or bed closer to parental rooms temporarily, these practical moves recognize the realities of fatigue and reduce the risk of similar moments recurring.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These commenters stressed that her lying and ignoring a distressed child is a huge red flag

the_poly_poet − NTA. The biggest issue for me is the lying.

At the very least she could have been honest that she didn’t go in.

But it’s also profoundly f**ked up to think that she didn’t want to check on him.

She’s treating the idea of checking on her kid the same way a part-time cashier would treat

having to mop a floor when it was (supposedly) their co-worker’s “turn” to do it.

It isn’t a job she gets to clock in and out of; she has to be present and show up at all times.

And if you were in the shower and couldn’t hear them crying, then it was definitely her chance to act.

calacmack − Your wife lied to you about having checked on him.

I think that this is huge issue and it needs to be confronted. NTA.

AnyBioMedGeek − NTA. I cannot imagine ignoring a screaming child

and screaming cries of bloody nose fear are very very different from I don't wanna go to bed

yes I want some attention cries. Any decent mother immediately knows the difference.

GardenDivaESQ − Your wife is horrible. Your kid deserves better.

What really gets me is she straight up lied to you about it. That’s so wrong.

PearlyP2020 − NTA but your wife sure is. She was lying or she just left him with a bloody nose and went back to her iPad?

This group emphasized that both parents share responsibility, and her inaction is unacceptable

Turmeric_Ping − NTA. Your wife is TA. You are both parents.

Even if she thought you should be checking on him, when you didn't, she should have gone and checked.

She should have wanted to.

I can't imagine sitting and watching a movie while my child cried because that was not my problem.

And the fact that she lies tells you she knows she should be ashamed of her behaviour.

And she's right. What she did was borderline abusive.

HelloJunebug − NTA. I don’t understand why your wife thought attending to both your kids wasn’t her job

while you weren’t available. That doesn’t make sense to me. UPDATEME

kaitrae − NTA, at all. Your wife however is a huge one. Who sits there casually while their child is screaming?

Poor baby. Totally understandable that you figured she would check on him while you showered.

She sounds like a lazy parent. . I get maybe she was tired but damn.

Didn’t even check on him once? Anyone saying this story is fake is weird.

Sure it could be, but also. . terrible moms DO exist. People act like it’s so unbelievable when the mom is the bad parent.

[Reddit User] − I get my ass out of bed when my dogs bark that they need me in the middle of the night yo

17jade − NTA. Ya gotta wonder what was so damn important on that ipad!

To LIE about checking on a crying child? Thats pretty low.

These commenters feared this might signal ongoing neglect or a concerning emotional disconnect

ItWouldntWorkAnyway − Your wife is undoubtedly, indisputably, undeniably, unmistakably the a__hole in this situation.

You are undoubtedly, indisputably, undeniably, unmistakably NTA in this situation (and a great dad).

The fact that your kid called for you makes me wonder about the level of n__lect your child

must be feeling from your wife, and her lying to you makes me wonder what else is happening

that you're taking at face value but is hiding information you need.

But given you chose this partner to raise a child with...are these previously intermittent tendencies

becoming more frequent and/or obvious or does it feel like she is dissociating from her life?

There may be a medical angle to consider. Best of luck.

ETA: a little clarification I didn't realize was necessary:

the kid calling for Dad doesn't make Mom a terrible parent,

and no one has said it's indicating "what level of n__lect has this mother done to this kid."

Coupled with the instance that OP has written about (context),

it could be an indication that the kid is feeling like certain needs aren't being met by Mom,

and it could be escalating to feeling neglected.

In this case, Mom not attending to her hysterically distressed child may not be a first experience.

Hope that helps clarify that this is about what the child's perspective could be,

since children communicate more with their behavior than words.

sooner1125 − Um… your wife is was a terrible mother tonight. I hope this isn’t the usual behavior.

ThirdWigginKid − My babymama used to do s__t like that back when we were still living together.

Ultimately, she abandoned our kid when he was two. Sooooo. ...big f__king red flag, based on my experience.

This group bluntly stated she acted like a bad parent and the child deserved better care

user_4250 − Nta your wife sounds like s__tty mother

[Reddit User] − “I tried three times. ” Man, I’m sorry, but your wife doesn’t sound fit to be a parent.

TV is more important than her child’s safety, AND she lied about trying to calm him down?

I would seriously consider getting your child away from her.

She sounds like a narcissist and those people are dangerous, especially to little ones.

Ignoring a child in distress and then lying about it crosses a line for many parents. The father’s reaction is understandable, raising serious questions about trust, responsibility, and the child’s welfare.

How would you address repeated negligence in a co-parenting situation? Would professional intervention be appropriate, or is separation the best option? Share your thoughts below.

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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