Fiancé Heartbrokenly Ends Engagement Despite Deep Love And Baby Dreams As Her Kids Fiercely Resent Him

A 34-year-old man, after six years of therapy, proposed to his 33-year-old fiancée, a widow eager for marriage and more children. Her two kids, still grieving their late father, refuse any stepfather role.

The engagement now looms like a trap, clashing his dreams of family against their unyielding opposition. Posted on Reddit, the saga pits enduring love and blended-family hopes against raw grief and fierce loyalty to a lost parent.

This emotional standoff questions whether persistence can heal wounds or if forcing bonds risks shattering everyone involved.

Heartbroken man decides to end engagement as fiancée’s kids reject him outright with biting resentment.

Blending families after loss? It’s like trying to mix oil and water while everyone’s yelling “don’t shake the bottle!”

The core clash is crystal: OP craves a united home and biological kids. His fiancée bets marriage will magically flip her children’s feelings.

The kids, now 11 and 12, cling to their late dad’s memory like a life raft, rejecting OP at every turn, even yelling at grandparents for daring to call him a parent, turning solo hangouts into mini war zones. OP’s fear? Locking in via vows and new babies only to face lifelong hostility.

Flip the script: the kids aren’t villains, just grieving. Child psychoanalyst Martha Wolfenstein explains, “A lost parent is often idealized and preserved in fantasy as the good parent while hostility is displaced onto the surviving caretaker, who is then perceived as the bad parent”.

Here, therapy hasn’t dented that shield. The fiancée’s camp argues commitment signals permanence, skeptics (including OP) see a gamble where divorce later would wound everyone deeper.

Zoom out: stepfamily stats paint a sobering picture. The American Psychological Association reports 60-70% of remarriages involving kids fail, often citing unresolved loyalty conflicts.

In this situation, the couple are fond of the idea of adding half-siblings. But with the fiancée’s children’s resentment, it is like a recipe for bitterness as new babies can feel like “replacements” to grieving kids.

So what could each in everyone in this story do? OP could set a firm boundary, e.g., “Marriage only if kids show consistent respect in therapy for 6 months.”

The fiancée should enforce consequences for disrespect, not just hope. Couples counseling focused on co-parenting alignment is non-negotiable.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some advise ending the relationship due to persistent hostility from the kids.

Others share experiences showing kids may never accept a stepparent after a parent’s death.

Some criticize the fiancée for not addressing the kids’ unacceptable behavior.

Six years in, this Redditor’s heart is a battlefield. Love for his fiancée versus a future shadowed by kids who’d cheer his exit.

Do you think his exit plan is self-preservation or quitting too soon? How would you juggle being a partner while dodging daily daggers from mini gatekeepers? Drop your hot takes!