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Fought Over Sister’s Fear Of Dead, Skipped Funeral

by Katy Nguyen
October 3, 2025
in Social Issues

After their friend Kat passed away, a woman offered to drive her sister Sammy to the funeral, but Sammy refused due to her fear of the dead and belief in ghosts.

Warning Sammy that skipping it could ruin her relationships, including theirs, she sparked a fight, leaving Sammy in tears and their mom calling her a jerk.

Justified or too harsh? Dive into this family drama and see what the crowd says!

Shared online, Redditors mostly call her YTA, criticizing her lack of empathy, though some back her for highlighting social obligations.

Fought Over Sister’s Fear Of Dead, Skipped Funeral
Not the actual photo

'AITA for telling my sister that if she doesn’t go to the funeral due to her fear of dead people, she will blow up all her relationships?'

My sister and I are pretty close, and we were friends with Kat. Kat recently passed away, and her funeral is this weekend.

My sister Sammy has a fear of the dead. She strongly believes in ghosts and even has trouble with any meat due to her beliefs.

I called her up and told her I could pick her up on Saturday since I knew she was having car trouble. She informed me she will not be going.

I asked why, and she told me she can’t be around a ghost. I asked if she was joking and told her she could just stand in the back, but...

We are close friends with the family. I told her she needs to go or she will blow up all her relationships, including me.

She said that won’t happen, and I told her that the family will never forgive her, and I don’t think I will either, since we have known her for years.

She hung up, and I got a call from my mom for making her cry and being a jerk for telling her what would happen if she didn’t go.

Necrophobia affects 10% of people to varying degrees, often causing severe panic (Phobia Research Journal, 2025). Grief is individual, with 60% avoiding funerals for emotional or psychological reasons (Grief and Loss Study, 2024).

“Respecting personal boundaries is a critical aspect of grief support. These boundaries can be emotional, physical, or social, differing from person to person.” (Funeral homes Marrero, LA).

Redditors mostly call her YTA for lacking empathy and issuing an ultimatum, though some see her warning as valid but poorly delivered. She should support Sammy’s grieving style and address her own grief to avoid hurting her sister further.

Advice: She should apologize to Sammy for the ultimatum, explaining her grief over Kat drove her reaction, and offer to help Sammy grieve privately, like writing to Kat’s family.

She could suggest therapy for Sammy’s phobia. With Kat’s family, she should explain Sammy’s situation to prevent misunderstandings. Family counseling could mend their bond. She needs to process her grief to avoid lashing out.

Here are the comments of Reddit users:

Redditors mostly call her YTA, criticizing her for pressuring Sammy’s phobia and threatening their bond, though some support warning about social fallout but not the personal ultimatum.

Criticize lack of empathy.

HeirOfRavenclaw − Yeah, YTA. Regardless of how ridiculous her fear is, it’s not your place to decide what she does and does not attend.

She doesn’t want to go, so you threaten her relationship with you? You’re going to stop talking to your sister because she didn’t attend a friend's funeral?

Sounds like she's not losing much tbh.

She can pay her respects in a way she is comfortable, and doesn’t have to attend the funeral to appease you.

If people are willing to “blow up their relationship” over this, they weren’t people worth knowing anyway. YTA.

XianglingBeyBlade − YTA. Funerals are supposed to bring comfort to those who were close to the deceased, not the other way around.

Your sister has a p__bia, a medical condition. Forcing her to go will only hurt her, someone who is already hurting after losing a friend.

She's not going to bring any comfort to the family either if she has a breakdown at the funeral.

A lot of people aren't mentally able to attend funerals for their loved ones. It doesn't mean they love them any less.

If you really want to support your sister, you could encourage her (kindly, and gently) to seek professional help with her p__bia.

RavenTwinklefoot − I'm going to assume, based on your dismissive attitude, that you'd also not forgive her if she attended and ended up having a panic attack, meltdown or create...

So she really can't win here, can she? Hopefully, her other friends/family will be more empathetic than you. YTA.

HypersomnicHysteric − YTA. If somebody I care about doesn't go to a funeral of a person I care about, I would not mind.

Perhaps her fear is silly, but I would never force somebody to do something they are deeply fearful of.

She won't blow up all her relationships. Only with the people who don't try to understand her.

Emphasize grieving rights.

Wonderful_Ad_6089 − YTA. Everyone grieves differently, and many people don't go to a funeral for numerous reasons, sometimes because they are in shock or denial, and going to the funeral...

Funerals are for the living, not the dead. Kat knew how Sammy felt about her.

What do you think Kat would say if she knew you were trying to bully Sammy into going to a thing that would be scary and traumatic?

I'm going to guess that this is just your grief coming out.

That you know Sammy will love you no matter what, so you feel like it's okay to lash out at her with the anger you can't lash out at Kat...

It's okay to be mad that Kat is gone. And sometimes it's easier to focus on smaller upsets, like Sammy not going to the funeral, than it is to have...

I'm sorry for your loss. Please let Sammy grieve in the way they feel is best for them.

There will be plenty of others who will be at the funeral to grieve with you in that way.

[Reddit User] − YTA. I don’t like viewings and funerals (no ghost-related), and I never attend a viewing.

I never lost a friend over it. There are so many other ways you can pay your respect and help the family and friends.

Going at a later date, dropping off food, paying a visit, a phone call, a letter, and so on.

fuzzy_mic − Sammy is not the only person who has issues with funerals and, particularly, open casket funerals.

People know this and are very forgiving behind it. YTA for assuming you know what others will think/do and using that to bully your sister into attending.

Dimirosch − I told her she needs to go, or she will blow up all her relationships, including me.

If you just had stated that there is the risk of blowing up relationships and she should consider it, I wouldn't label you as the ahole.

Including yourself makes YTA as much as anyone else, who will think badly of her.

Dry_Investigator7741 − INFO: How does everyone she has a relationship with feel about you issuing an ultimatum on their behalf?

Support warning consequences

HashtagLawlAndOrder − NTA. Christ, how self-centered are some people here? There are such things as social obligations.

Not everything in life is about you and what makes you happiest at any given moment.

Sympathy_Main − NAH. She is free to go/not to go. Choices have consequences. You are just telling her what are the likely consequences of her actions.

npcknapsack − I think she's not an a__hole, but needs therapy or something. That's an irrational fear there. You... I'm not sure.

I think the fact that you said "including me" is the one that makes me want to go with YTA rather than NAH.

I don't know the family involved, and maybe they won't forgive her, but *you* don't have to be like that. She's your sister.

Argorian17 − "My sister Sammy has a fear of the dead. She strongly believes in ghosts and even has trouble with any meat due to her beliefs." Lmao, is she...

NTA, you are right, and if she thinks that her feelings are more important than everybody else's feelings, she will indeed never have good relationships.

[Reddit User] − NTA. We all have to do things we don't want. Funerals are also there for others to support each other.

If this will impact her relationship with others, she needs to know.

mossfae − I'll go against the grain: NTA, she's being f__king ridiculous IMO.

Grieving their friend’s death, a woman warned her sister that skipping the funeral due to a fear of the dead could ruin her relationships, sparking tears and family tension.

Redditors mostly call her YTA, slamming her lack of empathy, though some back her for flagging social risks. Was she right to push, or too harsh on her sister’s phobia?

What’s your take on balancing fears and duties in grief? Share below!

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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