Girlfriend Lies About Start Time To Get Boyfriend To Be On Time, Is She Wrong For Doing It?

In relationships, there are little white lies we tell to avoid conflict or frustration. But when is it crossing the line? This woman found herself in a dilemma over her boyfriend’s perpetual lateness, especially when it came to family gatherings. Determined to avoid another late arrival, she lied about the event’s start time.

However, when her boyfriend discovered the truth, he felt betrayed, and their argument led to a deeper question about honesty and respect. Was she wrong to lie to make sure he’d be on time, or was it a reasonable solution to a recurring problem?

A woman lies to her boyfriend about the start time of an event to get him there on time

There’s no shortage of frustration when one partner is chronically late and the other deeply values punctuality, it’s one of the most common recurring annoyances in relationships and often stems from very different internal clocks and habits.

Studies of time perception show that some people genuinely underestimate how long tasks take and consistently miss cues about preparation and departure, while others find lateness disrespectful and stressful.

In many couples, conflict over punctuality isn’t about selfishness, it’s about differing cognitive and emotional styles.

At the same time, honesty is widely considered a cornerstone of healthy partnerships. Relationship psychologists and communication researchers argue that trust is built through consistency in truth‑telling and transparency, and deception, even well‑intended, can erode that trust over time.

Chronic lying or omission in relationships is associated with more insecurity and lower intimacy because the partner who’s lied to may start questioning things that previously seemed solid.

That said, research on honesty in relationships also notes that not all untruths are equal. Some “white lies” are told to smooth social interactions or avoid unnecessary stress, and in rare cases they can serve a prosocial purpose.

Psychological researchers have even identified situations where small lies told for the partner’s comfort or for relationship harmony are perceived differently from lies told for self‑interest.

What matters is motivation and context. If the lie protects partners from unnecessary harm or supports relationship goals, it may be interpreted more leniently, but lying to manipulate behavior walks a fine line.

In this specific scenario, the OP strategically shifted the event time not out of malice but to change the partner’s behavior (punctuality). That’s important: the intention was to solve a recurring conflict, not to deceive for personal gain.

Many people in similar Reddit discussions report using “fabricated times” as a hack to get chronically late partners ready earlier, suggesting it’s a tactic some couples resort to when other communication strategies have failed.

But experts would likely emphasize this point: lying isn’t a stable solution to relationship issues. While a single white lie may get you out the door on time, it doesn’t address the underlying communication problem or differences in how each partner values time.

Long‑term relationship health is rooted in honest negotiation of expectations, mutual respect, and shared problem‑solving, not managing each other through deception.

Check out how the community responded:

This group agrees that the boyfriend’s consistent lateness is rude and disrespectful

This group supports the use of “white lies” or small deception to avoid bigger issues

These commenters reflect on the long-term implications of being late in a relationship

This commenter suggests that the boyfriend’s lateness could be a control issue

While some argue that her actions were justified, others think honesty is always the best policy, especially in relationships.

Was this just a harmless white lie, or did OP set herself up for bigger trust issues down the line? How would you handle a partner who’s always late? Share your thoughts below!