Husband Secretly Drains $7000 In Savings For IVF To “Lend” A Friend, Then Blames Wife For The Fallout

A woman’s hopes for motherhood crumbled after years of fertility struggles and personal savings poured into IVF funds, until her husband quietly withdrew $7,000 to lend his lifelong best friend for a new car, without a single word of discussion.

He brushed it off as a favor any true friend would return, but when she insisted on the money’s immediate return and mentioned authorities to ensure it, he erupted in rage, labeling her selfish and unhinged. He then accused her of bearing sole responsibility for their childlessness before storming out to stay with his friend.

A woman discovers her husband secretly used $7,000 from their IVF savings to lend to his friend.

The core issue boils down to a serious breach: one partner secretly withdrawing a large sum from funds earmarked for something as emotionally charged as IVF, without any conversation. The husband’s defense rings hollow when the stakes involve a couple’s future family. Meanwhile, his backlash flips the script, turning a clear boundary violation into her fault.

Opposing views might argue friendships matter, and a quick loan between old pals isn’t world-ending, especially if repaid. But context shifts everything: this wasn’t spare cash, it was targeted savings from her efforts and inheritance, for a shared goal he barely contributed to financially. Prioritizing a friend’s car upgrade over the couple’s fertility journey screams mismatched priorities and a lack of partnership respect.

This ties into the broader issue of financial infidelity, when one partner hides or misuses money in ways expected to upset the other. It’s shockingly common and corrosive.

A Bankrate survey found that 40% of Americans in committed relationships have committed financial infidelity, like hiding purchases, debt, or accounts from their partner. Such secrets erode trust fast, often leading to arguments or even relationship endings.

Experts highlight how devastating this can be. As noted in reporting from the Gottman Institute, financial infidelity involves “consciously or deliberately lying to a romantic partner about financial behavior,” and it “can generate suspicion and resentment between partners. It can even shatter trust.”

Neutral steps forward could include open talks about boundaries around shared funds, perhaps with a couples counselor specializing in money dynamics to unpack why he felt entitled to decide unilaterally and why he deflected blame so harshly.

Rebuilding requires genuine accountability, no more shaming or excuses. But if patterns persist, like repeated minimization or prioritizing friends over the marriage, it may be worth weighing if this partnership supports the family life she envisions.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some people strongly urge the OP not to have a child with her husband and to seriously consider leaving or divorcing him.

Some people view the husband’s actions and words as clear signs that the marriage is over and he no longer wants a child with her.

Some people condemn the husband’s cruel comment about her fertility issues as deeply hurtful, disrespectful, and incompatible with a loving partnership.

Some people question the husband’s suspiciously large loan to a friend and highlight major differences in financial responsibility that threaten the marriage.

This wild ride leaves one big question hanging: when one partner’s loyalty seems split between marriage vows and a high school buddy, where does the line get drawn? The Redditor’s stand protected her hard-earned resources and future hopes, but at the cost of explosive fallout and painful accusations.

Do you think demanding the money back crossed into overreaction territory, or was it the only way to reclaim respect in a lopsided dynamic? How would you handle a spouse who treats joint dreams as optional while helping a friend first? Drop your thoughts below, we’re all ears!