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He Chose His Newborn Daughter Over His Marriage After His Wife Changed Everything

by Carolyn Mullet
January 4, 2026
in Social Issues

A long marriage ended the moment a newborn entered the picture.

They were the kind of couple people rooted for. High school sweethearts who survived long distance, family rejection, money stress, and even near homelessness. Every milestone they reached came from years of shared struggle and sacrifice, which made their bond feel unbreakable.

Then an unplanned pregnancy changed everything.

At first, the fear felt mutual. A baby was not on the roadmap. But something shifted. An ultrasound sparked a deep connection for him, and for a while, it seemed to do the same for her. They leaned in together, convinced themselves this new chapter could work, and prepared for parenthood side by side.

Then, almost overnight, she reversed course.

She no longer wanted to raise the baby. She insisted on adoption. Therapy was refused. Conversations went nowhere. What followed was months of emotional isolation, impossible choices, and an ultimatum no parent should have to face.

When the baby was born and nothing changed, he made a decision that permanently altered his life.

Now, read the full story:

He Chose His Newborn Daughter Over His Marriage After His Wife Changed Everything
Not the actual photo

'AITAH for divorcing my wife?'

So, some important context: I \[26M\] and my ex-wife \[26F\] were what you'd call highschool sweethearts.

We got together in 9th grade back in 2015 and have been together for approximately 10 years (\~3 of which, married).

We as a couple, had been through thick and thin. A long distance relationship, bigoted parents and quasi homelessness.

Not every person is privileged enough to have such a partner. Whatever social/financial standing we had, we achieved it together.

That only adds a sense of unparalleled respect to the already immense love I felt (and still feel) for her.

So anyways, back in March, she broke the news that she was pregnant. This was NOT, in anyway, a planned pregnancy.

I can safely say a baby was not in any checklist I had at the time, primarily

because I felt I wasn't ready to take on the responsibilities of a father and the fact that I know my parents, who are longing for a grandchild,

would never acknowledge any I had with my wife. But she singlehandedly convinced me that this was a feasible endeavor, and I quote

“possibly the best f__king thing that would ever happen to us period.”

So, we, as a couple drove head first into this. I cannot properly explain in words what happened next but any decent parent would understand what I'm trying to say:

ever since I saw my little girl in that ultrasound, I've developed this bond that transcend all others. My wife couldn't have been happier.

Fast forward two months (late May), my wife had done a complete 180°. One afternoon, she abruptly said that she no longer wanted to raise our daughter.

I was instantly taken aback and ever since then, it had been a true hell for me.

Me and the in-laws tried finding the reason behind this sudden change and tried to make her feel comfortable with the choice we've initially made in so many words (and...

She was adamant that we put the baby up for adoption as soon as she was born. For clarity, an a__rtion was never on the cards for anybody here,

not solely because it's borderline inaccessible where we live but because it's simply inconceivable even to the woman that no longer wanted the child.

I made her know in no uncertain terms that I had no intention whatsoever of putting our baby up for adoption

and she developed this bizarre idea that I've "chosen the unborn baby over her" and that, to me, she had become "insignificant".

I love my wife. But to be perfectly honest, I've grown to love my girl just as much, if not more.

The last thing I wanted was to choose between my wife and my child because either way, I'd be losing something irreplaceable.

And I was afraid I'd grow to resent the person that gave me such an ultimatum.

I felt like I was alone in this because at the end of the day, her parents were first and foremost, HER parents.

I couldn't go to my parents for obvious reasons, or our friends (bless their souls) because they weren't emotionally equipped to handle something of this caliber.

I tried to take her to see a therapist (many, many times) but she refused, saying I was trying to "build a case" for a future custody fight (I was...

So fast forward to December, we had the baby and she hadn't changed her mind.

At that point, I was convinced that this - we - was no longer feasible and I filed for divorce and sole custody with an added injunction.

I have to mention that I had to go to my parents (the last thing I wanted to do and oh boy, were they giddy)

in order to ensure that the district court does take up the case on its own merits since the chances of a single father all on his own getting custody...

The tame version of what happened next is she flipped out. I can see how, from her perspective, she can see this as a deep betrayal. But what other choice...

She called me every name in the book. Even her parents, who I was close with more than my own, concurs.. So, AITAH? Could I have done something different?

The emotional weight is impossible to ignore. This was not a snap decision or a selfish exit. This was a slow, agonizing realization that the marriage could not survive an ultimatum involving a child. The grief here runs in multiple directions, for the marriage, for the partner he lost, and for the life he did not expect to be living.

That kind of pressure deserves deeper examination.

This story centers on an extreme relational fracture triggered by pregnancy, identity shifts, and irreconcilable values.

Psychologists note that pregnancy can dramatically alter emotional and cognitive states. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, hormonal changes can intensify anxiety, depression, and identity distress during pregnancy, even before childbirth.

A sudden reversal about parenthood, while rare, does happen. Research published in Psychiatric Clinics of North America explains that prenatal mood disorders can cause abrupt changes in decision-making and emotional attachment, sometimes without clear external triggers.

That context matters, but it does not erase consent or agency.

Dr. Karen Kleiman, a specialist in perinatal mental health, explains that refusing help while issuing ultimatums places partners in impossible positions.
“When one parent refuses treatment and demands a permanent outcome, the other parent must act in the child’s best interest,” she notes.

From a legal and ethical standpoint, one parent cannot force adoption without the other parent’s consent. Family law experts emphasize that adoption requires agreement from both biological parents unless parental rights are terminated by a court.

In this case, the father attempted multiple interventions. He sought therapy. He involved family. He delayed action until after birth. These steps align with best practices recommended by family systems therapists, who advise exhausting supportive options before making irreversible decisions.

Divorce, in this context, functioned as a protective mechanism rather than a punitive one. Filing for custody ensured the child’s stability and safety in the face of parental abandonment. Mental health professionals caution that resentment often forms when one partner feels coerced into surrendering parental bonds, which can cause long-term psychological harm.

The father also faced isolation. Without support from his own parents or friends, his decision-making occurred under extreme stress. Studies show that single parents who actively choose parenthood, even under hardship, demonstrate strong bonding and resilience outcomes for children.

The tragedy here is not a villain. It is incompatibility revealed too late, compounded by untreated mental health strain.

Check out how the community responded:

Many commenters firmly supported the father, emphasizing child protection and consent.

SlowGuest3714 - You did the only thing you could to protect your child.

Future-Specific-5013 - Do not let anyone take your daughter from you.

mimibelle1 - Choosing your child over losing her forever is obvious.

Another group focused on mental health, urging compassion without compromising safety.

bepdhc - This sounds like prenatal depression. It is brutal and real.

Impressive_Moment786 - Hormones can trigger serious mental illness.

Confident-Tie5222 - Deal breakers are still deal breakers.

Some commenters offered practical advice mixed with caution.

Techsupportvictim - File for child support and protect your rights.

ButterscotchLittle65 - Refusing therapy leaves no alternatives.

Own-Raisin5849 - You cannot be forced into adoption.

This story is painful because no one walked away unscathed.

A marriage built over a decade collapsed under the weight of an unplanned pregnancy and an impossible choice. One partner wanted out of parenthood. The other discovered an unbreakable bond before the child was even born.

Divorce, here, was not abandonment. It was an act of commitment to a life that already existed.

The deeper question is not who failed, but what happens when love splits into two forms that cannot coexist. Sometimes, choosing a child does not mean rejecting a partner. It means refusing to erase yourself.

What would you have done in this situation? Is there ever a way to save a relationship when parenthood becomes an ultimatum?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 19/19 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/19 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/19 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/19 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/19 votes | 0%

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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