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He Wanted a “Practical” Degree for Their Daughter, But She Dreamed of Writing, and Now the Parents Are at Odds

by Sunny Nguyen
April 22, 2026
in Social Issues

For many families, conversations about college are filled with hope, pride, and a little bit of anxiety. But for one couple, it has turned into a deeper conflict about values, security, and what it really means to support a child’s future.

Their daughter is still in high school, but she already knows what she loves. Writing. Reading. Storytelling. She dreams of pursuing an MFA and eventually becoming a teacher, a path that is meaningful but not exactly known for financial stability.

Her mother wants to support that dream fully, even if it means funding her along the way. Her father, however, sees things very differently. To him, education is an investment, and it needs a return. Now the family is stuck between passion and practicality, and no one is quite sure where the line should be drawn.

He Wanted a “Practical” Degree for Their Daughter, But She Dreamed of Writing, and Now the Parents Are at Odds
Not the actual photo

Here’s The Original Post:

'AiTAH for wanting to offer continuous support to our daughter so she can pursue her dreams?'

My husband has this very strict view on college, his stance has always been he would gladly cover all expenses for both undergrad

and post graduate studies but the catch was it has to be towards a career path that actually makes them money and allows them to be self sufficient.

Our daughter wants to work towards a MFA she is in HS and she has always loved writing and reading.

She wants to work on a book, whole also teaching. Teachers were we live are grossly underpaid like majority of places.

My husband told our daughter dreams don't pay the bills, that she needs an actual career that will allow her to fund her goals so to speak.

I spoke with him and told him we 100% have the money to make her life easy and let her chase after her dream.

Told him she has a better chance at making her dream a reality if she is not bogged down by the stress of money.

I knew he was always a money driven person, but to not help our daughter out because she refuses to follow his plan or idea of lucrative careers is insane...

Edit: If it matters my husband is an engineer, our oldest son is an attorney, and I am a SAHM.

The father has always been clear about his stance. He is willing to pay for both undergraduate and postgraduate education, which is no small offer. But there is a condition.

The degree must lead to a career that can support itself financially. In his mind, that is not unreasonable. He is an engineer, after all, someone who built a stable life through a career that reliably pays the bills. Their oldest son followed a similar path into law.

So when their daughter expressed her desire to pursue an MFA and potentially teach, he didn’t hide his concerns. Teaching, especially where they live, is underpaid. Writing, as a primary career, is unpredictable. From his perspective, this path looks less like a plan and more like a gamble.

Her mother sees it differently.

She believes they are in a rare position. They have the financial means to give their daughter something many young people never get, freedom from financial pressure.

In her view, that freedom could be the difference between a dream staying a dream and becoming something real. She argues that their daughter would have a better chance at success if she isn’t constantly worried about money.

There’s also an emotional layer here that’s hard to ignore. Supporting a child’s dream feels, to her, like supporting who they are. Saying no feels like asking their daughter to become someone else.

But the father’s concern isn’t just about money. It’s about independence. He worries that by removing financial pressure entirely, they might also remove the motivation to build a sustainable life. He’s not dismissing her passion, he’s questioning whether it can stand on its own.

This is where the conflict really sits. Not in whether writing is valuable, but in what responsibility parents have once their child becomes an adult.

Some people see college as a time to explore, to take risks, and to follow what excites you. Others see it as the foundation for financial stability, something that should be approached with strategy and caution. Neither perspective is entirely wrong, but they often clash when real money and real futures are involved.

There’s also a middle ground that neither side seems to have fully embraced yet. A path where the daughter could pursue writing while also building a safety net.

Double majors, minors, or even career-adjacent roles like editing, publishing, or education technology could offer both creativity and stability. Teaching itself, while not always high-paying, can evolve into better-paying opportunities over time, especially with experience or specialization.

At the heart of it, though, this isn’t just about degrees. It’s about trust. The mother trusts their daughter to figure it out if given the chance. The father wants to ensure she never ends up struggling in the first place.

And both, in their own way, are trying to protect her.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some people sided with the father, arguing that parents have a duty to prepare their children for real-world independence, even if that means steering them toward more stable careers.

wasting_time_n_life − Teaching is such an undervalued profession. What a blessing for a child to get a passionate, caring and intelligent teacher, if only for a year.

Yes, they definitely should get paid more but until that changes we still need teachers.

Without getting into the politics of education, I feel bad for areas that are struggling academically, can’t fund teachers, and make further cut backs.

It’s a death spiral for our schools.

Beautiful_Arm8364 − An MFA can pay the bills eventually, so he should honor the pledge to pay for her education.

HOWEVER, you're doing her no favors if you fund her lifestyle beyond that. She needs to learn to make her own way in the world. Her art will be better...

Ok_Obligation_7270 − I mean, my wife was a teacher and then a principal and now works in EdTech making 6 figures twice over.

There are other markets in that world that pay very well. Also, that’s a huge amount of money and choosing to give it can be contingent on whatever reason yall...

I don’t necessarily disagree with your husband, but I don’t think he knows about all the possibilities. Honestly, a lot of jobs just require a degree - not a specific...

Others supported the mother, pointing out that passion-driven careers can succeed, especially with financial backing and encouragement.

swaggyboi1991 − I understand where he's coming from he wants to make sure he's investing tens of thousands of his money into something

that will actually pay off and take care of your daughter on the long run. Just to clarify here, he doesn't want her to become a teacher?

Depending on where you live, they can make six figures down the road if you play your cards right (I used to work in education).

Capable_Comb_7866 − If your daughter is in high school you don’t need to be a SAHM. Get a job and give your money to your daughter if you want to...

Lilliesbloom235 − I mean neither one of you are wrong. Has your daughter sat down and looked at programs?

What does she want to do ultimately? What programs have a percentage of employed graduates.

I work in humanities. My dad at first was not on board but looking at what opportunities I had sealed the deal.

I had basically a full ride for undergrad and they used my college money for postgrad.

But after that they told me any further education was on me. It took me two years to land a permanent job after getting my masters

and I did live with family. I had a part time retail job despite having education and lots of internships.

Supporting your kids is important but your daughter also needs to learn how to stand on her own and work towards her goals without mommy and daddy funding constantly. There...

A lot of commenters landed somewhere in the middle. They suggested compromise, encouraging the daughter to pursue her passion while also building practical skills that could support her long-term.

maersyl − I'll speak from my own experience. My parents were those who wanted me to follow my dreams, do what makes me happy, etc.

so I went to university and did a Bachelor of Science in Music Technology. from 2007-2010.

Just around the time when USB sound interfaces were becoming pretty damned good. Loads of studios shut down. I found no work.

Then there was the recession so lots of venues etc shut down, lots of sound and lighting companies shut down, etc.

I went and did a Master of Arts in Design in 2012. All the major work was in London. I couldn't afford to move there. I found no work.

I am now 37, I hate my day job that I fell into just because I needed a job. I am unfulfilled, I don't earn much, and I am thoroughly...

because this job is shift work and eats up all my time so I can't work to live, I have to live to work.

I neglected my audio and design portfolio because my 'day job' has taken over. I have realised now what I should've realised when I was 18

and I have just enrolled on a course on learning and development to pivot into a job that will let me enjoy my life again as I'll be working to...

I've finally been able to get off the night shifts but the 12 hour day shifts are ruinous for out-of-work life.

I have also just started writing my own book, which I don't need to work in that field for, not that I have the time to progress on it much!

I'm with your husband on this to an extent as I would also say that if she wants to get into teaching then that's a fantastic career and very rewarding,

money isn't everything, but not setting yourself up for a decent-enough job to be able to do your passions outside of work is setting yourself up to fail, like I...

rTracker_rTracker − Have her write a 200 page book over the summer while she works a summer job.

That way she can see how her lifestyle would look and feel like. That would actually be parenting.

Preparing her for the future. I don’t think you’re doing her a service to just fund her dreams.

Your job is a parent is to make sure that she can be self-sufficient in this life.

Ixrokis − NTA, but you're talking about tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of your daughter's life.

You're spending all of those resources with very little chance of getting something concrete out of it.

Dreams are great, but you also have a duty to teach your child how to be a self-sustaining adult.

Consider encouraging her to get an art minor while majoring in something that can feed her when you're gone.

ParticularPath7791 − You are not a AH but I 100% agree with your husband. Blowing money on a degree that usually leads to nowhere is a huge waste of money.

There’s no easy answer here, because both sides are rooted in care. One is trying to protect a dream, the other is trying to protect a future.

Maybe the real question isn’t whether she should follow her passion or choose stability, but how she can do both without losing herself in the process.

What would you do in their position?

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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