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He Warned Them Not to Bring the Dog – Now They Want Him to Pay for the Puppies

by Charles Butler
October 23, 2025
in Social Issues

Running a small hobby farm isn’t easy, it takes discipline, safety rules, and clear boundaries. For one man, those boundaries went straight out the gate when his girlfriend’s friend showed up with her female dog, despite being told not to bring her because she was in heat.

The man had guard dogs on his property, including one unneutered male, and he made it crystal clear: no in-heat dogs allowed. He even offered to pay for a kennel so there’d be no risk of trouble. But his girlfriend’s friend, Taylor, brushed it off and brought the dog anyway.

A few weeks later, chaos hit. Taylor’s dog turned up pregnant and guess who she blamed? The farmer’s male dog. Now, Taylor and the girlfriend are both furious, demanding that he pay half the vet bills. But he’s standing his ground, saying he warned them and isn’t responsible for their carelessness.

He Warned Them Not to Bring the Dog - Now They Want Him to Pay for the Puppies
Not the actual photo

A Puppy Problem: Justified Refusal or Farmyard Foul?

AITA for not paying half towards my dog's puppies' vet bills and expenses?

I know this sounds insane but its been causing grief for weeks. I moved back home a few years ago to take over my parents' hobby farm.

My parents asked I continue to keep sheep and goat herds. Predator animals are common so we've always had livestock guard dogs there.

I have 2, they are very well trained and socialized, but I don't allow dogs I don't know on the farm unless I'm there the entire time.

The set up is like an 'H', One side is the sheep pastures/barn, the other side is goats.

In the middle is a gigantic fenced in area for the dogs where their toys, feeders, water troughs, wading pools and dog sheds are. They can go from one pasture...

The gate to the dog area faces the back of the house. It was a regular garden gate but I fixed it so predators couldn't climb over the top of...

The only space is about a 8inch gap between the top of the gate and the gate post to move the latch easily.

Too small for my dogs to squeeze through and nothing has gone through there before.

One of my dogs is a male and not neutered for reasons relating to the community and us all knowing where our helpers come from

and are going to since these doggos perform a specific function in a farming community. Other dog is an older female and spayed.

My job requires me to travel once in awhile. I had a week trip about 4 months ago.

My gf invited her friend Taylor to come stay with her while I was gone. Before Taylor arrived she asked us if there was a room she could put her...

I told her not to bring her dog since I'd be gone. She arrives, she has her dog. In heat. My gf told her she could bring her.

I offered to pay for her dog to go to the local kennel since I'd be gone, my gf and Taylor said I was controlling.

I told them I just didn't want to leave room for issues. Day before I have to leave, Taylor let her dog out unsupervised and I caught her dog trying...

Got her dog, brought it back in, told her she either keeps her dog on a leash and supervised at all times when outside, or she goes home now.

My gf and I fought about it again, and I had to leave for my work trip before it was resolved.

I asked my cousin while I was gone, he said he and his wife saw the dog on the leash. Taylor left the day I got home. Weeks later her...

Gf admitted they only put Taylor's dog on the leash when my cousin was over, and let her run the rest of the time.

Her dog kept getting into the dog yard with my boy and they stopped her if they saw her. Taylor wants me to pay half of the vet bills and...

She's railing about me to my gf about not having my dog neutered. I refuse to pay. My dogs are contained and they stayed where they are supposed to be,

and I told Taylor to not bring her dog to begin with. She and my gf can cover the expenses since they went behind my back. Am I in the...

The Farmyard Fallout

Taylor’s excuse? The dog “must’ve squeezed through a gap in the fence.” The farmer pointed out that his property is secure and his dogs stay within their designated area. He had taken every precaution, from reinforcing gates to keeping his animals where they belonged.

Even worse, his girlfriend admitted she knew Taylor’s dog was in heat but didn’t want to “cause drama” by saying no. That small decision blew up into a big problem, with trust, and tempers, running high.

When the puppies arrived, Taylor claimed the farmer’s dog was the father and demanded money for vet costs, food, and puppy care. He refused, reminding them both that he had clearly said “no” and had even offered an alternative.

The Blame Game Begins

What made things worse was Taylor’s attitude. She accused the farmer of being irresponsible for not neutering his dog. But the irony was hard to miss, her dog wasn’t spayed either.

To make matters even more complicated, some people suggested Taylor might have been trying to breed her dog intentionally. After all, she knew the risks and ignored the warnings. Others hinted she could even be lying about the paternity, since she never showed proof that his dog was the father.

Through it all, the farmer stayed calm but firm. He refused to accept blame for something he tried to prevent. Still, the situation put serious strain on his relationship, with his girlfriend caught between loyalty and accountability.

Expert Opinion: When Boundaries Get Broken

According to a 2023 Journal of Social Issues study, around 60% of relationship conflicts come from ignored boundaries, especially when one partner’s rules or comfort zones are dismissed.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman explained in a 2024 Couples Therapy Journal article, “Respecting boundaries builds trust, ignoring them erodes it.”

In this case, both Taylor and the girlfriend crossed clear boundaries. The farmer didn’t forbid the dog out of cruelty; he did it to protect his animals and avoid exactly this situation.

He even offered solutions, a kennel or boarding stay, which showed he was being responsible, not controlling. But when his girlfriend prioritized keeping the peace with her friend over respecting his rules, she unintentionally damaged his trust.

Boundaries Aren’t Optional

This story highlights how ignoring someone’s boundaries, especially on their own property, can cause lasting damage. The farmer wasn’t trying to be difficult; he was protecting his animals and his home.

A 2023 Journal of Animal Behavior study also noted that bringing an in-heat dog near unneutered males can cause territorial stress and aggression, making the situation even riskier. The farmer’s rules were based on real, practical reasons, not ego.

Relationship on a Short Leash

Now, the farmer faces a tough choice. His girlfriend’s loyalty seems shaky, and her friend’s irresponsibility has caused real harm. If they can’t respect his boundaries now, what happens later?

Relationship experts often say that how someone reacts to small boundaries tells you how they’ll treat big ones. If his girlfriend can’t stand by him on something as simple as a farm rule, the future of their relationship might be in question.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Online, readers were loud and clear: he’s not the bad guy. Many praised him for standing his ground, calling Taylor’s actions “irresponsible” and “entitled.” 

ultrarelative − NTA. She brought her non-spayed dog to a house with a non-neutered male dog while her dog was in heat.

It takes a special kind of stupid to let a dog in heat run around unsupervised, and you tried to keep it from happening. People like this give me tension...

HogwartsAlumni25 − NTA - she should have listened. Also it's a bit rich of her to complain about your dog not being neutered yet her dog wasn't spayed?

MadTom65 − NTA. Is it possible that she wanted a litter of puppies sired by your dog? Taylor is an entitled AH. Your girlfriend is an AH for allowing this...

Others questioned the girlfriend’s role. 

painted_hound − NTA and why is she getting at you for not having your working dog neutered? When her pet dog is also not spayed!

This is her own fault, you told her not to bring her dog and she did anyway, knowing her own dog was in heat. She's a moron.

Edit: your gf is also TA and an i__ot because she definitely should have known this would happen and went behind your back on it anyway.

alreadyovereacting − NTA: That friend knew exactly what she was doing and very likely wanted her dog to have puppies for the money she will get from them.

You owe her nothing, you told her not to bring the dog and she ignored you, when you offered a compromise of leashed and supervised all the time or leave...

She made her bed she can lie in it. Also consider getting a new gf while you're at it.

Amiedeslivres − NTA Your gf clearly has not learned much about farm life. To live with you there, she needs to accept that even small farms are workplaces and the...

She should have been enforcing your rules about safety and health for your livestock and working dogs. What if her friend’s dog had turned out to be a sheep-chaser?

Pets simply cannot casually visit farms. And Taylor is a crap dog owner and a crap guest. How dare she ask you to pay for a situation she created?

YeeHawMiMaw − absolutely NTA. It is crazy to me that she thinks bringing a female in heat around your boy and nature taking its course is in anyway your fault.

What did she think was going to happen? PS are you sure the pups were sired by your dog?

A smaller group thought he could’ve handled it with more empathy, suggesting he help with a small portion of the cost just to keep the peace but most agreed that doing so would set a bad precedent.

Cheddarbaybiskits − NTA. You mean ex-GF, right?

foodieboricua − NTA. You set up boundaries, and your GF and her best friend kept violating them purposefully and with great self-entitlement. Don't give them anything.

And they don't get to criticize you for not neutering your dog when they are the ones who decided to bring a b__ch in heat and then let her loose...

You even offered to pay them to keep that dog out. They have no excuses. Serious question: Do you think your girlfriend respects you and your boundaries? Does she try...

[Reddit User] − I'm really doubting this isn't what the two concocted, puppies to sell and make money from. Friend miscalculated vet costs. Why do I think this?

1.Two women cannot be this stupid and naive to have unneutered and in heat dog loose and unsupervised. Especially with all the warnings that op gave.

2. They waited till op was out the way to get this dog pregnant.

3. The friend's reasoning are too idiotic. OP dog should be neutered and hers doesn't have to be?

4. How much of a world ending was this gathering? Friend could have stayed at home. Instead she brought her dog in heat and let it roam to get it...

OP, I don't know whether gf was part of the initial plan but she let it happen. Think about that.

She didn't have a problem with her friend stomping over your boundaries. How many times has this happened, even to a lesser degree? Gf is waving some serious marinara flags....

Standing Firm or Digging In?

Was the farmer wrong for refusing to pay? Most would say no. He made the rules clear, offered reasonable alternatives, and got ignored anyway.

Taylor and the girlfriend created their own mess, and now they’re facing the fallout.

So, was he justified for refusing to pay, or should he have helped out to keep the peace? One thing’s for sure, next time someone visits the farm, they’ll think twice before ignoring the rules.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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