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Heartbroken Father Turns To His Niece And Nephew After His Own Kids Betray Him

by Marry Anna
November 9, 2025
in Social Issues

Infidelity doesn’t just destroy marriages, it ripples through entire families. One father learned this the hardest way when he found out that his wife’s affair had been going on for years. The real blow? His children had known about it the whole time and said nothing.

Even after forgiving them, the bond was never the same. He started gravitating toward his niece and nephew instead, both of whom treat him like a second father. These days, he skips his own grandkids’ birthdays while showing up for theirs without hesitation.

To some, it’s a man healing where he feels loved; to others, it’s emotional abandonment in disguise.

Heartbroken Father Turns To His Niece And Nephew After His Own Kids Betray Him
Not the actual photo

'AITAH for prioritizing my nephew and niece over my own children after they hid their mom's affair from her for years?'

I (57M) was married to my wife for almost 25 years, and we divorced 4 years ago after I found out about her infidelity.

She had an affair partner for almost 5 years. She is now with her affair partner.

The whole process hurt me a lot because I everything I did in life, I did it for my wife and kids, and to now find that about my wife,...

My 2 children (29F, 26M) had known about the affair for years, and they had hidden it from me.

They both felt very guilty about it, and I don’t blame them, because they didn't want to break up their family.

My daughter even cried a lot and apologized a lot of times, but I told her it was all alright.

They had their own life now, and I didn’t want this eating them up, so I told them to let go of the guilt.

However, ever since I found that they had hidden the affair from me, I lost a lot of love for them.

I wasn’t going to cut them out of my inheritance or will or anything like that, but emotionally, I couldn’t connect with them at all.

I also have a niece (30F) and nephew (28M) who I have been very close with, especially since their father passed away at a really young age.

I played a father-like role during their young years, because losing her husband at such a young age was very tough for my sister.

Over the last 4 years, I have also been looking forward to spending more time with them.

Both my niece and nephew have children, and they have invited me over for their children’s birthdays.

They have also invited me over for their own birthdays, on Father’s Day, and on holidays.

Overall, we are a very tight-knit multi-generational family, and I am very proud to be a grandpa to their children, and we are already developing a bond.

However, in doing so, I have also lost all interest in connecting with my own children.

My daughter has 2 children, while my son has his first child on the way. They have invited me over multiple times, but I have told them I’m busy.

I rarely go over if at all, and I’ve missed almost all of their children’s special occasions. I’m not really interested in being a grandpa to their children.

Monetarily, sure, I have been sending them gifts, but I just don’t feel like seeing them at all.

My daughter especially seems very hurt by it at times, but I hope she understands the reason for this. AITAH?

This narrative underscores how the aftereffects of betrayal can ripple through multiple relationships.

The OP discovered his wife’s long affair and learned his children had known about it yet remained silent. Emotionally wounded, he has since distanced himself from his own children and instead invested deeply in his niece and nephew’s families.

Although he claims no intention to cut his children out, his behaviour suggests he already has, emotionally and physically.

From a psychological standpoint, this pattern aligns with concepts of betrayal trauma.

Research shows that when individuals are betrayed by someone they depend on or trust, their capacity to reconnect and form secure attachments can suffer.

One study found that higher levels of betrayal trauma exposure were linked with lower levels of both general and relational trust. In other words, the OP’s withdrawal isn’t just avoidance, it’s a trauma-influenced response.

Yet experts caution that avoidance is not synonymous with healing. Rather than repair, distancing often deepens division.

As a comprehensive overview from Medical News Today explains, “When betrayal trauma happens, the person’s world changes: trust, control, safety feel unstable.”

In this case, the OP has redirected affection to a different branch of the family, which may feel safe, but hasn’t addressed the emotional fracture at the core: his relationship with his children.

Therapists suggest the path forward is gradual reconnection rather than forced reconciliation.

For example, starting with simple gestures such as acknowledging his children’s milestones, engaging in low-stakes interactions, or articulating his underlying feelings of hurt in a supportive environment.

The aim is to rebuild trust step by step rather than expecting instant re-bonding.

In sum, the OP’s shift of focus from his children to his niece and nephew reflects a wounded relational system more than a fully conscious choice.

Healing requires more than avoidance of pain, it requires returning, slowly and mindfully, to the relationships that matter most, even when they feel unsafe or fragile.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

These commenters sympathized with the OP but insisted he should confront his children directly.

chez2202 − NTA for prioritising your niece and nephew, but you DO need to be honest with your children and tell them that they lost your trust when they didn’t...

Telling them not to feel guilty about it was obviously a kindness from you to make them feel better, but you should have also told them that even though you...

Kragg_hack − In some ways, I understand why you do like you do. But I think it was a mistake to tell your kids to let go of the guilt.

Because clearly, you were very hurt by their actions. And this will never be fixed if you and your children don't talk about it and make amends.

Of course, if you don't want to be a part of their life, it's not something to fix.

But if you want to have any interaction with your children and grandchildren, you need to make them understand how they have hurt you.

But you are NTA. Your children did betray you, perhaps not as much as your ex-wife, but on the same level.

So if you don't want anything to do with them, it would be understandable.

Tdffan03 − NTA. Your kids were old enough to understand what was going on. They betrayed you. You should tell them how you feel.

Both pointed out the contradiction in OP’s actions, asking why he claimed forgiveness while still keeping his distance.

[Reddit User] − You say it's alright, but is it really? Don't lie to yourself, tell the truth. Tell them it was not okay.

Glitch427119 − Why did you tell them you don’t blame them when you clearly blame them?

I’m not saying you’re wrong for blaming them, I’m not saying you’re right for it either, I’m just asking why lie when your actions and behavior are going to show...

These Redditors felt genuine pity for everyone involved except the cheating ex-wife.

here4mysteries − I feel bad for everyone involved except your ex-wife. She put your kids in an absolute no-win situation.

They were damned if they did and damned if they didn’t. Because she put them in that situation, you now shun them and your grandchildren.

Literally everyone except your ex-wife is suffering. That’s a lousy resolution.

I’m sorry you were lied to and cheated on. It’s absolutely awful. I’m sorry that your children were put in the middle and have lost the most.

Shdfx1 − So, you want nothing to do with your grandchildren, because your children didn’t want the responsibility of triggering your divorce by telling you about your wife’s affair?

I agree that they should have told you, but have you ever been in a position where, if you told your father what your mother had done, your parents would...

Your ex put your kids in a terrible position. I hope this is worth rejecting your grandkids, who are innocent.

There seems to be a current trend in posting about fathers cutting off their kids for not telling them about their mothers’ affairs.

So, if you’re reading this, and one of your parents is cheating, tell the other parent.

It’ll be a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation, but you won’t be enabling betrayal.

[Reddit User] − This is a tough one because I empathise with your pain.

I can't stand a__ltery, and having your own family hide that from you is unfair and I am truly apologetic that you went through that.

So reacting to that makes you NTA.

I think the only things that might make you a TA at this point are that you've not been honest with your children, which is your whole issue with them:...

The other thing is you've almost completely thrown away a relationship with your children because they withheld the truth, which is what you're currently doing.

From what they can see, you're saying you're busy but making time for other family members, missing out on your grandchildren, and instead spending time with your great-nieces and nephews.

That you haven't sat your children down and had an honest conversation with them about why you're avoiding them and punishing them because they didn't tell you about the affair,...

Even if it's not unfair to your children, it's unfair to your grandchildren, not directly your fault, but if they're not aware that 'Grandpa' isn't in their life, they will...

I do think you need some therapy because, after such a long relationship, there will be damage, even if it's not affecting you now.

Regardless, you will need to speak to your children if only to set that expectation so they can also move on with their lives.

Whatever your boundaries are or become with your children, you need to tell them the truth so that this doesn't consume the rest of your lives.

Edit: This comment was not meant to minimise their decision not to tell OP nor place any emphasis on what the ex-wife did.

I was simply emphasising that there is background missing to this situation, not that that absolves their decision not to tell OP at all.

This pair focused on the family dynamics, questioning whether the children truly conspired to hide the affair or were manipulated by a gaslighting parent.

JohnExcrement − Did your children actively work to help hide the affair, or were they caught in the middle of a mess they couldn’t really control?

enkilekee − Your real family, sister, niece, and nephew, their kids love and respect you. You raised your children, but why did they cover up?

What is it about you? Or is their mom great at gaslighting? You can't force yourself to love people who hurt you so deeply.

Some took a critical stance, calling OP the partial villain for refusing to communicate.

[Reddit User] − NAH, but I feel bad for your grandkids. They didn't do anything to deserve the punishment of not having you in their life, except being born to...

dunduhduuuuuu − YTA. For not talking to your kids about how you really feel. It is not too late for family counseling.

I hope she understands the reason for this. How could she if you never told her outright?

Finally, a handful of skeptics questioned the authenticity of the story altogether, citing near-identical posts with minor variations.

AbjectPromotion4833 − This same story was posted yesterday, but the adult kids were cut out of the will, and the 2nd wife’s 16-year-old son was the new beneficiary of everything.

The adult kids were mad. This story is either theft, or op is an attention seeker. I don’t buy it.

camkats − Ok, this is a repeat post, so most likely fake, beware.

[Reddit User] − Someone’s been reading their comment section! You’re getting pretty close to a final draft of this story 😃

This story dives deep into how betrayal reshapes love, not just between spouses, but within an entire family. Some say forgiveness is freedom, others argue that wounds like this never truly close.

Do you think the father is justified in keeping his distance, or is he punishing the wrong people for his ex-wife’s sins? Share your thoughts, can family bonds ever fully recover after betrayal?

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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