Homeowner Tired Of Constant Package Thefts, Deploys Disgusting Decoy That Scares Porch Pirates Away For Good

A fed-up homeowner got tired of porch pirates swiping packages the instant they landed. Instead of glitter bombs or useless police reports, they crafted the ultimate revenge trap: a water bottle filled with piss, cap loosely taped, hidden inside an Amazon box like a foul little surprise.

Two decoys vanished and apparently hosed the thieves in warm revenge, because now every fresh bait box sits untouched all day. Word spreads fast when the loot fights dirty, and suddenly the porch is the safest spot in town.

Fed-up Redditor fights porch pirates with decoy packages, thieves learn the hard way and suddenly stop stealing.

Turning your porch into a biological hazard zone might sound extreme, but when police shrug and Ring footage goes nowhere, people get creative.

What we’re really watching is classic “deterrence theory” in action: make the reward not worth the risk, and even the boldest thief thinks twice.

The Redditor didn’t build a glitter bomb or call the cops, they simply raised the gross-out factor to eleven. Two soaked pirates later, the message was received loud and clear.

On the flip side, some might argue this crosses into “ick-y trespass” territory. Technically you’re gifting someone a biohazard. But in a world where porch piracy costs Americans an estimated $25 billion a year, according to Capital One Shopping research, sympathy for thieves is running pretty thin. The psychology here is fascinating: thieves rely on low effort and zero consequences. Introduce even the possibility of carrying home a box of warm consequences, and suddenly the cost-benefit math flips.

Psychologically, this kind of revenge taps into “deterrence through disgust.” Dr. Paul Ekman, pioneer in the study of emotions and facial expressions, explains: “Emotions can override…the more powerful fundamental motives that drive our lives: hunger, s__, and the will to survive. People will not eat if they think the only food available is disgusting. They may even die, although other people might consider that same food palatable. […] A person may never attempt s__ual contact because of the interference of fear or disgust […] Emotion triumphs over the s__ drive!”

In plain English: getting splashed with pee is so gross that thieves would literally rather go home empty-handed than risk round two. It’s the same reason coyote urine works on deer and why nobody steals the kitty-litter decoy twice.

The broader issue? Package theft has exploded since online shopping became our default. A 2024 C+R Research survey found 43% of Americans have had at least one package stolen, and most never see justice.

Solutions like locker pickups or signature requirements work, but they’re inconvenient. So when the system fails, people improvise, sometimes with a very personal sports drink. Is it mature? Nope. Is it understandable? Absolutely.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some people love the revenge and share their own gross deterrent stories

Some people suggest other nasty or funny anti-theft ideas

Some people share real-life confrontations or recoveries of stolen packages

Others recommend practical prevention instead of revenge

Some people joke about packages that are simply too heavy or worthless for pirates

At the end of the day, one person’s trash (or… liquid trash) became a whole neighborhood’s treasure: peaceful package deliveries. Was the pee bomb genius-level problem-solving or a step too far into mad-scientist territory?

Would you risk the splash zone for the satisfaction, or stick to boring old locked boxes? Drop your verdict and your own pirate-revenge stories in the comments!