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Husband Locks Bathroom After Wife Refuses to Stop Using His Toilet for Number Twos

by Sunny Nguyen
October 1, 2025
in Social Issues

Buying a dream home with your partner is supposed to be exciting. But for one newly married couple, it quickly turned into a strange argument about bathrooms.

The husband, 31, and his wife, 25, moved into an old American house with two side-by-side bathrooms. At first, it seemed like the perfect setup. He took the left bathroom with a shower, and she claimed the larger one with a bathtub. Everything looked fair and simple.

The problem started when the wife began sneaking into his bathroom, but only for one reason: to use the toilet. She sat in a way that left messy streaks in the bowl, something that drove him crazy. No matter how many times he asked her to stop, she ignored him.

Eventually, frustrated and out of options, he installed a lock on his bathroom door. His wife was furious and demanded he remove it. What started as a minor disagreement turned into a full marital standoff.

Husband Locks Bathroom After Wife Refuses to Stop Using His Toilet for Number Twos
Not the actual photo

A Redditor’s Bathroom Lock Sparks a Marital Mess Over Toilet Etiquette

'AITA for putting an outside lock on my bathroom to prevent my wife from using it?'

My wife [25F] and I [31M] bought a house together about six months ago. This is our first time living together.

Our house is an old American house that has been reformed many times. As a consequence of this, it has a silly layout where there are two bathrooms right next...

When we pulled the trigger on buying it, we made an agreement that I'd take the bathroom on the left with the shower and she'd take the bathroom on the...

Hers is much more spacious than mine. I soon learned though that my wife preferred to use my bathroom, but only to defecate.

She'll go pee or take a bath or do her makeup in her bathroom, but when the time comes to have a bowel movement, she only wants to use my...

I usually wouldn't mind this, but the issue is that she sits very far forward on the seat which leaves streaks in the bowl virtually every time she goes.

I first tried approaching this civilly by asking why she used my bathroom. She gave me a vague answer about preferring it. Then I asked if she could at least...

She said it was none of my concern how she sat on the toilet. I offered to change bathrooms with her, to which she said no thanks.

Then I asked her to stop using it and she said it was her house too so she should be allowed to go wherever she wants.

I'm honestly tired of opening the toilet lid to see her stool stuck to the bowl. The day before yesterday I installed a lock on the door that I could...

At first she didn't seem to take the hint. She asked me for a key for the bathroom, to which I said no. Then (as she really had to go)...

I told her that she has a perfectly good toilet in her bathroom. She finally relented but came out of the bathroom extremely upset with me.

She's been ticked off and demanding that I remove the lock since. Was I out of line here?

My wife [25F] and I [31M] bought a house together about six months ago. This is our first time living together.

Our house is an old American house that has been reformed many times. As a consequence of this, it has a silly layout where there are two bathrooms right next...

When we pulled the trigger on buying it, we made an agreement that I'd take the bathroom on the left with the shower and she'd take the bathroom on the...

Hers is much more spacious than mine. I soon learned though that my wife preferred to use my bathroom, but only to defecate.

She'll go pee or take a bath or do her makeup in her bathroom, but when the time comes to have a bowel movement, she only wants to use my...

I usually wouldn't mind this, but the issue is that she sits very far forward on the seat which leaves streaks in the bowl virtually every time she goes. I...

She gave me a vague answer about preferring it. Then I asked if she could at least sit back a bit more. She said it was none of my concern...

I offered to change bathrooms with her, to which she said no thanks. Then I asked her to stop using it and she said it was her house too so...

I'm honestly tired of opening the toilet lid to see her stool stuck to the bowl. The day before yesterday I installed a lock on the door that I could...

At first she didn't seem to take the hint. She asked me for a key for the bathroom, to which I said no. Then (as she really had to go)...

I told her that she has a perfectly good toilet in her bathroom. She finally relented but came out of the bathroom extremely upset with me.

She's been ticked off and demanding that I remove the lock since. Was I out of line here?

The Strange Bathroom Habit

The couple’s house gave them a rare setup: two bathrooms right next to each other. He thought it was a blessing.

She would have her own private space, and so would he. But instead of using her bathroom, she preferred his for her bowel movements.

Whenever she did, she left streaks behind. The husband tried to be polite. He asked her to sit differently. He offered to swap bathrooms. He even asked why she refused to use her own.

Every time, she brushed him off or insisted it was her house too. He was left with the mess and the feeling that his boundaries did not matter.

The Breaking Point

After months of frustration, the husband decided he had had enough. He put a lock on his bathroom door. Not just any lock, but one she could not open without a key.

When she discovered it, she panicked, banged on the door, and demanded he remove it. He refused, saying she had her own bathroom and there was no reason to use his.

From that moment, their home felt less like a happy marriage and more like a battleground.

Why It Matters

At first glance, this fight might sound silly. It is just a toilet, right? But the bigger issue is respect. The husband was not asking for anything unreasonable.

They had agreed on separate bathrooms. He was not telling her how to live her life, only asking her to use her own space or clean up after herself. Her refusal to listen made him feel ignored.

On the other hand, the lock was a dramatic move. By taking such a hard step, he turned a private problem into a public war.

Instead of finding a middle ground, both of them dug into their positions. Now it was less about toilets and more about control.

What Experts Say

Arguments like this are common among newlyweds.

A 2024 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that nearly seven out of ten couples face conflict over household responsibilities during their first year together.

Most of the time, the fights are not about the chores themselves but about feeling respected and heard.

Marriage counselor Dr. John Gottman explained it simply in a 2023 article for Psychology Today: “Respectful negotiation, not ultimatums, builds lasting partnerships.”

The lock may have solved the mess, but it also sent a message: my way or nothing. That kind of message can do more damage than dirty streaks ever could.

What Could Have Worked Better

So what should they have done? For one, the husband could have set clearer rules without jumping straight to hardware.

A cleaning schedule, or an agreement to share both bathrooms but clean immediately after use, might have worked.

The wife, meanwhile, owes an explanation. If she felt more comfortable in his bathroom, she needed to say why and then agree to keep it clean.

Instead of fighting over the lock, a calm sit-down could have solved everything.

Marriage is about compromise. If they had treated it as a shared problem instead of a power struggle, the bathrooms could have been a non-issue.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Most believe the wife was being unreasonable by ignoring their agreement and refusing to clean up. 

AShatteredKing − NTA. She is obviously using your bathroom to s__t in because she doesn't want the mess/smell in her bathroom.

You've talked with her about it and she won't be reasonable. So, sure, put a lock on the outside. I don't get why you guys have your own bathrooms, but...

That being said, this doesn't sound like it's going to be a good marriage if you can't even work out shitting arrangements.

Tricky_Ad_9608 − NTA - why can’t she defecate in her own toilet? Does she not want to clean up her own mess? That’s disgusting. Man, start going #2 in her...

Redditactron − NTA unless you don't look into why your feral spouse isn't fully housetrained yet. Her prefrontal cortex should by now have the capacity for her to understand that...

Others point out that locking a spouse out of a room is a strong move that might hurt trust.

dart1126 − NTA. How utterly bizarre, both her insistence on using ‘your’ toilet, and her apparent refusal to clean up after herself.

bendytoepilot − Wtf why is she being weird and gross? Tell her to clean up after herself NTA

Maximum-Swan-1009 − Then (as she really had to go) she started to panic and asked me again and again to open it. This line really has me wondering why she...

That is a bizarre reaction to the situation. As always, communication is the key. Sit down with her to discuss this. She said it was none of my concern how...

Well, yes it is, if she is leaving her stools on your toilet for you to look at. Would you agree to her using your bathroom if she agreed to...

Long_Ad_2764 − WTF is this some kind of power move she is trying to pull? Anyway NTA you guys had an agreement and she is going back on it with...

In the end, both sides made mistakes, but the wife’s lack of respect is what set the stage for this fight.

Tyberious_ − Why didn't you just start going to crap in her toilet? I have a feeling that would have solved your problem, she would probably much rather clean after...

miki88ptt − Wow. That's not gonna last. She doesn't want to clean the toilet. She doesn't want to get her toilet dirty.

You can't cope with that (i wouldn't either). Man, don't be mad at me, but i think she's an entitled and selfish woman. Run as quick as you can.

cytru − NTA. Don't all adult people clean the toilet if it gets dirty after using it? This would drive me crazy in a relationship!

A Lock or a Lesson?

This couple’s bathroom drama shows how small habits can cause big problems when respect is missing.

The wife wanted to use his bathroom without considering the impact, and the husband responded with a lock that turned irritation into a standoff.

Both could have handled it better, but one thing is clear: marriages work best when boundaries are respected and communication is honest.

The lock might keep the bathroom clean, but unless they talk it out, it could also lock up their trust.

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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