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Husband Works Hard While Wife Stays Home, Plays Games And Claims She Is A Single Mother

by Jeffrey Stone
December 28, 2025
in Social Issues

A devoted husband grinds through 60-hour weeks at a tough factory job, grabbing overtime to cover bills and keep everyone secure. Drained when he returns, he still pitches in with chores like scrubbing bathrooms and managing pet care. His wife, staying home to teach their three young children, often unwinds with games while the kids lose themselves in screens.

When he voices worries about the children’s learning progress, she lashes out, insisting she’s essentially raising them alone because his shifts keep him away and she’s repeated this claim around relatives. He feels deeply undermined, stressing how he devotes all non-working, non-sleeping hours to the family while carrying the full financial weight.

A husband confronted his stay-at-home wife for calling herself a single mother despite his long work hours.

Husband Works Hard While Wife Stays Home, Plays Games And Claims She Is A Single Mother
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH For telling my wife she isn't a single mother?'

Me (31m) and my wife (28f) have been married 7 years. We have 3 kids together (10yrs,7yrs,and 4yrs).

For the last 6 years I have been the sole income for our family. I work up to 60 hours a week sometimes 7 days a week.

Despite this I still come home and do housework like the cat boxes and cleaning the bathroom.

My wife on the other hand does the dishes maybe once every other week and is suppose to be homeschooling the kids.

I say she is suppose to be because I work 2nd shift so I leave at 4pm and get home around 2 am.

When I wake up at noon she is always in bed next to me and the kids are playing the switch in the next room.

She says she does the schooling between 8-11 because she read that kids only need 3 hours when your homeschooling and she also doesn't do Mondays.

When I go to work she is usually at her TV playing video games and the kids are still on the switch.

Anyway I confronted her about the homeschooling and she got really angry.

She said how dare I question her parenting since I'm never home and she is basically a single mother.

This isn't the first time she's called herself a single mom as I've heard her say it in front of my parents and her mom.

I told her she wasn't a single mom I spend every moment I'm not a work or sleeping with them and I work hard to provide because we are still...

She was going to get a job after the kids were all in school but then decided to homeschool.

I told her calling herself a single mom is insulting to mothers who are working and doing everything completely on there own.

Well now she's not talking to me and asked me if I wanted a divorce as she always does when we have a argument.

AITAH or am I right to tell to stop calling herself a single mom.

Edit: so this blew up while I was at work. I'm going to try and address a few things

1: the reason why my says she started homeschooling is because she said our oldest was getting bullied everyday.

I have no real proof of that other than a few messages between her and the teacher but from what I saw it never seemed huge.

I dropped my son off everyday at school and he always ran off happy to go which isn't typical of someone bullied relentlessly.

2: a lot of you did give me advice on how to check if my kids are being schooled properly. I

appreciate that because I don't know if my kids are where they need to be.

I have no proper way to see the progress they've made or compare it to where another child may be who goes to school.

3: for those asking I work a factory job with lots of available overtime some mandatory some voluntary we need both to stay afloat sometimes.

I appreciate the advice given here and rest assured I will do the right thing to make sure my kids have the best possible future even if I have to...

The Redditor describes a clear imbalance: he’s the sole provider working grueling hours, yet contributes to housework upon returning home. His wife, opting for homeschooling over returning to work, claims limited teaching time (just a few hours most days, skipping Mondays) and equates her experience to single motherhood.

From one angle, her frustration is understandable. Managing three kids solo during the day is no small feat, and shift work can leave partners feeling disconnected. On the flip side, many see her label as minimizing the husband’s efforts and the real struggles of actual single parents who handle everything without a partner’s income or support.

Motivations here might stem from deeper issues, like resentment over unequal leisure time or unspoken expectations about homemaking. The husband’s edit raises valid doubts about the homeschooling quality, noting potential gaps in progress compared to traditional schooling.

The husband’s edit raises valid doubts about the homeschooling quality, noting potential gaps in progress compared to traditional schooling.

Research by Steven Duvall, PhD, from the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) shows that effective homeschooling for 3rd and 4th grade students often involves 2-3 hours of daily focused effort, achieving the same progress as public school students in a full day due to higher engagement.

The study notes homeschoolers exhibit strategic learning behaviors (like active reading or discussing subjects) 2 to 2.5 times more frequently than public school peers, allowing equivalent academic growth in less time, which underscores concerns if the routine lacks engagement.

This ties into broader family dynamics, where stay-at-home parents can feel isolated or undervalued, while working spouses battle exhaustion. Relationship expert Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, emphasizes fairness in labor division: “Only when you both believe that your time is equally valuable will the division of labor shift toward parity in your relationship.” Her work highlights how unequal home responsibilities erode partnerships, often leaving one person overwhelmed.

Another perspective comes from those who’ve critiqued married parents appropriating “single mom” struggles.

Another perspective comes from those who’ve critiqued married parents appropriating “single mom” struggles.

As leadership expert and author Rachel Simmons noted: “To suggest that you are single parenting when you are simply solo for the weekend devalues what real single mothers do. It trivializes the courage we have to summon every day to face, alone, the most exhilarating but terrifying kind of love that raising a child demands.”

This resonates here, as the wife has a partner’s financial and emotional backing, unlike true single parents juggling it all alone.

This resonates here, as the wife has a partner’s financial and emotional backing, unlike true single parents juggling it all alone.

Neutral solutions could include open conversations about reallocating tasks, perhaps enrolling the kids in school to ease the load and allow the wife to contribute income or pursue personal goals. Testing the children’s progress, seeking counseling for communication, and expressing appreciation mutually might rebuild teamwork.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Some people insist the children must be enrolled in proper school immediately due to inadequate homeschooling.

Big_lt − Bro Your kids are not in any home school. Immediately stop that s__t and enroll them in a school, you are going to find they're years behind other...

She "teaches" 4 days a week for 3hrs (so 12 hours total a week). An average students day starts at 8:30 and ends around 3:00 (so 6.5hrs).

These kids cover what your kids are taught in less than 2 of their 5 days

superflex − NTA. Calling out your wife for her dramatic "single mom" self-description is the least of your problems.

Your wife is playing you, and every day this "home school" charade continues is a day your kids fall further behind.

I would be very curious to know where a placement assessment at a tutoring service like Kumon would place your kids, relative to their age/grade level.

Salt-Finding9193 − She’s ‘HomeSchooling’ so she doesn’t have to do anything. Get those kids in school. Tell her to get a job or your leaving.

swbarnes2 − Homeschooling, when done right, is a s__t-ton of work. 12 hours a week is not proper homeschooling.

I don't think it would be enough for one child, let alone 3 at much different age levels. Can your kids read at their age level? Can they do basic...

Some people argue the wife should get a job and stop using homeschooling as an excuse not to work.

[Reddit User] − Woof... you need to get those kids into actual school and she needs to get some professional help and maybe a job.

TapOk3502 − As an actual single mother, this crap really p__ses me off. Not only am I the only parent, I’m also the only one financially supporting my son and...

Your wife basically has a cake walk. NTA. Put the kids in school/daycare and send her on her merry way to find a job.

Even if it only pays for the little one’s daycare at least he’ll certainly be learning something each day.

Fragrant_Spray − She’s homeschooling the kids as an excuse to not work.

Get your children into an actual school, even if your wife doesn’t get a job, but ideally, she can either do that or you should get a lawyer.

The custody battle could be messy as she’s shown a willingness to use the kids to get what she wants even at their expense.

Some people criticize the wife for falsely claiming to be a single mother and needing professional help.

EverVigilant1 − NTA. Your wife is the AH for claiming she's "basically a single mother" and for "deciding to homeschool" instead of getting a job.

Homeschooling is something you and your wife should have discussed doing together.

She's also an AH for saying "do you want a divorce" every time you argue.

NTA. Your wife has issues. She needs therapy, big time; and she also needs to grow the F up and do her F'ing job.

If she's going to be a housewife and a homeschool mom/teacher, she needs to F'ing do it.

Fluffy_Sheepy − She's not a single mother. If she was a single mother, she'd be the one working all hose hours

while begging her parents to watch the kids while she works. She's a stay-at-home mother, not a single mother.

And from the sounds of it, she's not really cut out to be a SAHM right now. I don't know if it's stress, mental illness, or what,

but if she can't handle what is on her plate right now then y'all need to figure out what can be done to change it to make it more manageable.

But her belittling you by basically accusing you of doing nothing when you work 60hrs

and still try to do some amount of chores and childcare is just not acceptable.

Some people recommend testing the kids’ education levels and seeking marriage counseling.

Limp-Star2137 − NTA. But you need to get the kids tested and see what their education level is.

Then, put them in public or private school, have your wife get a job, and then both of you get some marriage counseling.

Divorce should never be used as a threat unless they are prepared to follow through.

This Redditor’s showdown highlights the delicate balance of gratitude and effort in marriage, especially with kids in the mix. Labeling a partnered situation as “single parenting” can sting, but underlying frustrations deserve empathy too.

Do you think the husband’s call-out was spot-on, or could more compassion have softened the blow? How would you handle mismatched expectations in family roles? Share your thoughts below, we’re all ears!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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