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Man Calls Out His 16-Year-Old Daughter For Wanting Him All To Herself

by Layla Bui
November 19, 2025
in Social Issues

A father of three is caught in a delicate situation after reconnecting with a daughter he never knew existed. After learning he had a 16-year-old daughter, Paige, he tried his best to make up for lost time, spending one-on-one time with her while maintaining his relationship with his other kids.

But Paige’s expectations quickly spiraled, especially when she began demanding his full attention, even at the cost of his other children’s activities.

The breaking point came when she insisted he skip his son’s basketball game just to spend time with her. After refusing, she lashed out, claiming that he should prioritize her over the siblings she never asked for.

Did he handle this situation the right way by setting boundaries, or is he being too harsh in balancing his family? Keep reading to see how this complex family drama unfolds.

A father tells his daughter it’s unfair to expect him to prioritize her over his other kids

Man Calls Out His 16-Year-Old Daughter For Wanting Him All To Herself
not the actual photo

'AITA for telling my daughter it’s unreasonable to expect me to spend all my time with her?'

When I (36M) was in college, I dated Margot. In our sophomore year, she transferred to a different university, causing our break up.

It was amicable but given our different paths, we lost touch. I’ve now been married to my wife, Cathy, for 10 years.

We have 3 children: a 9 year old boy, 8 year old girl and a 2 year old girl.

Last year, I got a friend request on Facebook from Margot.

Shortly after accepting, she messaged me and asked if we could talk on the phone.

I found it weird but something told me to go through with it.

So, I called her and she told me that she had a 16 year old daughter, Paige.

I was in shock and at first almost didn’t believe her. She begged me to at least take a DNA test.

After speaking with Cathy, I agreed. Turns out, it’s true, I do have a 16 year old daughter who’s lived just an hour from me her entire life.

Margot says she didn’t tell me as she thought she could be a mother on her own. But now Paige was older and wanted to know me.

I agreed to start a relationship with her. At first things went pretty well.

We did a lot of stuff one on one as well as some things with my wife and other children.

Initially, Paige wanted to spend a lot of time just us, which made sense as we had a lot of catching up to do.

I see Paige at least once a week. She usually comes down to stay with us every other weekend

and I’ll go up to see her on the weeks in between, just me, not the rest of the family.

While I love my time with Paige, I do also have to balance time with my other kids. Something she doesn’t seem to understand.

I’ll invite Paige to join family things and she’ll turn it down.

Or, she’ll find out I’m doing something with one of the other kids and want to come along

or ask me to cancel the plans to spend time with her. The biggest incident came this past weekend.

My son had a basketball game. Paige asked if I could come hang out with her.

I explained why I couldn’t but said she was more than welcome. She got irritated and said no.

I offered to come up the following day. She asked why I couldn’t just blow off the basketball game.

I told her that it was important to her brother.

She said I had more time with them and they can “do without me for a few years”.

I told her that absolutely was not going to happen. I said I love her.

I want to spend time with her, but I also have other kids to consider.

She is always welcome to join our activities that aren’t special one on one days, and I’ll always make sure I spend one on one time.

She said she never asked for little siblings and while I sympathized, I said they exist and I have to balance everyone.

I said if she doesn’t want to hang out with the other kids and my wife, that’s fine, but expecting me to blow them off isn’t reasonable.

Now, she’s very upset with me.

I have offered therapy. She refuses. I’ve asked if there’s anything my wife or other kids did.

She says no, she just doesn’t want to share me. She still claims that I should put her above her siblings. I can’t do that. AITA?

When a family dynamic changes, it can stir up a lot of emotions, especially when a parent must balance the needs of a new child with those of their other kids.

The OP in this story is facing a challenge many parents can relate to: how to manage their time and attention fairly among all their children. He loves his newly discovered daughter, Paige, but also has a responsibility to his wife and other children.

The tension in the story comes from Paige feeling like she’s not getting the attention she deserves, while the OP tries to juggle the demands of a growing family.

At the heart of this story is a familiar emotional struggle. Paige wants her father’s attention because, after years of not knowing him, she’s finally getting the chance to form a relationship. It’s natural for her to want as much time as possible with him.

But the OP is already stretched thin with his other kids, and he’s trying to make sure they feel loved and important, too. This creates a tricky situation where one child’s need for attention feels like it’s competing with the needs of the others, causing a lot of emotional tension.

Dr. Laura Markham, a psychologist, explains that when parents have to divide their time between multiple children, guilt is often involved. She says, “Parents often feel guilty when they divide their attention, especially with a new family member.”

This is exactly what’s happening with OP. He feels torn between making sure Paige feels loved and not neglecting his other children. Paige’s reaction to not being prioritized is understandable. She’s still trying to figure out where she fits in and might feel scared of being left out or not truly loved.

The emotional truth here is that Paige is likely acting out of fear of rejection. She’s desperate to create a bond with her father, and her insistence on getting all his attention may be her way of trying to make that bond feel real and secure.

While it can be frustrating for OP, he’s doing his best to balance his responsibilities. His refusal to put one child above the others is a decision that shows fairness and love, even if it’s hard for Paige to see that right now.

Paige’s behavior is likely part of the adjustment process, and it may take time for her to feel comfortable with the idea of sharing her dad with his other kids. OP’s decision to offer her time one-on-one, while also keeping the family unit strong, shows his commitment to both fairness and love.

In time, Paige may come to understand that having a large, loving family doesn’t mean she’s less important; it means there’s more love to go around.

This situation highlights the importance of setting healthy boundaries and ensuring that every child feels valued. While Paige’s feelings are completely valid, it’s also important for her to understand that love isn’t about choosing one child over the other; it’s about creating a space where everyone’s needs can be met.

Family therapy, though rejected by Paige, might be helpful in the long run for everyone to navigate this change together.

In the end, OP is doing his best to manage a tricky situation with love and fairness. Time, patience, and open communication will help bring everyone together as they adjust to this new family dynamic.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

This group agreed that the OP is not at fault for balancing his family’s needs and protecting his existing relationships

Swimming-Fix-2637 − NTA. She never asked for siblings but you never asked to have a daughter hidden from you for 16 years

(though that's not her fault but her mothers.)

You've shown a lot of care and compassion but you are correct that you have to balance everyone.

You were correct to tell her that you aren't going to dump your family for her and I agree with you that she could use some therapy.

I would get therapy. Make those appointments, pick her up and the two of you can be in therapy together for your one-on-one time.

I think it would help a lot for a neutral third party to assist her in navigating this new relationship and its complications.

Reach out to her when there are family events that you can bring her to. Invite her every single time.

Let her be the one to decide whether to engage with your family or not but keep offering.

She's going through a lot and I think it's really lovely of you to accept her so quickly and try to integrate her into your family. Just don't give up.

wren_boy1313 − They can do without you for a few years??

She didn’t ask for little siblings, well, her siblings didn’t ask for an older sister to show up out of nowhere and try to keep their dad away from them....

ProlificMystic33 − You certainly are Not the AH! This other woman really messed her up keeping her away from you.

I can understand her wants and this is clearly coming from a jealous place.

She’s thinking she’s entitled because she was born first and missed out on all that time together.

Consider too she is 16 and at that age where she is going to act out and be selfish. I’d talk to her mom about this.

Surely she understands but Paige is probably resentful of her too for keeping her away from you all this time.

Therapy really is the answer and I would just keep throwing that out there

and tell her this won’t get resolved until you can talk it out and understand each other.

Remind her that you didn’t know about her and had you known, you would’ve been there for her the entire time

but the other kids don’t deserve to be neglected just because you both missed out on time together.

Stick to what you say and don’t let her manipulate you because you feel bad.

Having a standing daughter father date every week is great and if she needs more time than that,

she can start coming around her siblings and step mom more.

I’d really keep bringing up they are excited to have her as their family and want to spend time with her too.

They also missed out on time with her. Best of luck! You’re a great dad!

These commenters sympathized with Paige’s situation

fallingintopolkadots − NTA at all, but I can understand why your daughter feels that way.

Suddenly she has a dad, and she's missed out on all these years of having a dad.

Perhaps seeing you with your younger children / her siblings only reminds her of the time and experiences she's already lost with you.

I think therapy is in order, whether or not she thinks she wants it. Perhaps family counseling where you two go together.

Equivalent_Mode5378 − Definitely NTA OP, but Margot is a liitle bit, for not telling you about your daughter sooner.

I feel that if you both had the chance to get to know each other when she was younger,

this issue of her feeling the need to have you all to herself might not be anywhere near as prevalent as it is now.

You are entirely correct in your thinking and actions - you are being fair and considerate to all parties involved.

Paige, unfortunately, cannot have you all to herself that is a completey unreasonable expectation.

Your wife sounds awesome, btw, to be so accommodating and welcoming to Paige.

Ok_Register3005 − Nta at all. You do need to balance. I think you're doing a good job.

Continue to offer to invite her and continue to spend the 1:1 time.

Ditching your family for your long list daughter is not a reasonable ask

This group recognized that while Paige may be acting out due to a lack of a father figure, her behavior is not justified

-phocus- − NTA at all and it seems as though you have been very patient with Paige and explained the reality very well.

I was going to suggest therapy, but you already did that as well. At this point, it is just going to take time.

The stage of development she is currently in is a very selfish one where the child really only thinks of themselves.

This is further amplified by the fact that she just met the father she has not had in her life for 16 years, and he’s great,

so of course she doesn’t want to share you. She also wants the other kids to feel her pain of missing out.

These are all normal emotions and feelings for her to have despite how mean and unreasonable they are.

I would continue to offer therapy. Maybe offer to go with her so it can be one on one time.

I would also just make sure you stick to the same messaging you’ve already given her.

Continue to invite her to family things and one on one time.

As hard as it may be, try not to get mad at her for the things she says or her unreasonable requests

and try not retaliate or take away a visit because you are upset.

Based on how you have been handling the situation so far this all seems like you can do these things and perhaps have been.

Time is what is needed, but it may not be easy. Best of luck and love.

Lilac-Roses-Sunsets − I know this wasn’t brought up but...

I have to wonder if Margot told you now because college is coming up in a few years and she wants you to pay for it.

These commenters shifted focus back to the root cause, the mother’s decision to keep Paige away from the OP for so long

Key_Plastic_3372 − OP, in this scenario, Margo owns the “AITA” title. She chose to be a single parent to Paige for 16 years.

No matter how much of a hole in her life that Paige feels, you will never be able to backfill that loss. The past is the past.

It seems you have done the best you can moving forward; however you cannot be the father that Paige never had growing up.

Yes, Paige may need therapy to help her come to terms with her loss as others have suggested,

but no, you have done nothing wrong by trying to be a good father to all of your children.

SunshineShoulders87 − NTA. Per the information in your post, it sounds like you’ve really made an attempt to be fair and connect with your daughter,

while continuing to support the rest of your family.

It’s unfortunate she only just met you, but the only one to blame for that is her mom, not you, your wife, or your kids.

She’s also 16 and will hopefully come around with time.

LogicalTexts − NTA. I’d query if Margot has secret ideas about breaking up your marriage via the actions of Paige.

Either way, definitely talk with Margot and keep those great boundaries firmly locked.

This group acknowledged Paige’s attachment issues due to the lack of a father figure

[Reddit User] − Thing is, I don't blame your eldest for being starved for your attention.

She's not an adult with any depth of experience, let alone marriage or children to be concerned about, after all.

NAH. Your response to her was gentle and appropriate.

And family therapy sounds like it would be beneficial for everyone in your household. Good luck.

bromylife − NTA, and cheers to you mate for accepting her and making time out your way.

I know a lot of people who wouldn’t even bother given the same circumstances.

She’s 16 and more than mature enough to understand the premise of things.

Sounds like she didn’t have a proper father figure in her life so she’s a bit attached but definitely not the a__hole for telling her.

OtherRepresentative2 − Absolutely NTA, at 16 she should be mature enough to understand

that you’re not going to drop everything for her and if she wants to be upset about the situation then she should be upset with her mom.

Gypsyheartwanderer − NTA She never asked for little siblings… well

you never asked for a surprise daughter who’s now nearly an adult… but here you both are.

It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job balancing the wants of your surprise daughter with those of your established family,

but she’s being a bit unfair demanding that you sacrifice time with your other children just to cater to her.

Yes she’s grown up to 16 being the sole focus of her mother, but you’re not a sole parent with one child.

You come with a wife and three other children. If she really wants to know you, she needs to know you with them.

Your 16 year old daughter may not think she needs therapy, but I believe it could help you both.

Maybe you can start off doing therapy together as part of your special time together?

Do you think this dad was right to set boundaries with his new daughter, or should he have made more time for her, even at the cost of his other children? How do you handle the complexities of blended family dynamics? Share your thoughts below!

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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