When you fall for someone at the gym, you expect a shared lifestyle to be part of the deal. But what happens when that changes and attraction fades with it? One man is facing this dilemma as his girlfriend’s habits shifted from workouts to fast food.
He turned to Reddit, confessing that her 60+ pound weight gain left him no longer attracted, even describing her eating as “gross.” With their lease ending soon and his girlfriend hinting about marriage, he’s quietly planning a breakup. Was he wrong to feel this way, or was honesty overdue?
One guy’s dream relationship hit a snag when his gym-going girlfriend packed on 60 pounds, trading workouts for fast food and candy binges, leaving him unattracted and ready to end things
OP edited the post:
Relationships change when bodies, habits, and lifestyles change. In this story, the Original Poster (OP) met his girlfriend at the gym when fitness was a big part of her identity.
Two years later, she has gained significant weight, stopped exercising, and developed habits around food that OP finds unattractive. Now he is asking whether it would make him the “bad guy” to end the relationship.
On the surface, the question is about physical attraction. But beneath it is something deeper: communication.
According to couples therapist Charlotte H Markey, “When someone’s habits change drastically in a relationship, the other partner has to decide whether to adapt, help support a change, or acknowledge the incompatibility. Avoiding the conversation altogether leads to resentment.”
Weight gain itself is not unusual. A study by Cornell University found that people often gain between 15–30 pounds in the first years of cohabitation or marriage. More importantly, sudden or dramatic weight changes can sometimes be linked to underlying stress, depression, or medical conditions.
The CDC notes that depression is strongly associated with changes in appetite and activity levels. If that is the case, what OP perceives as “laziness” may in fact be a symptom of something deeper.
That said, attraction is not trivial. Psychologist Dr. Helen Fisher emphasizes that while love has multiple components, intimacy, commitment, and passion, s**ual attraction is a crucial one. If that disappears entirely, the relationship often struggles.
OP has the right to acknowledge that he no longer feels the same spark. But he also owes his partner honesty and empathy, rather than waiting silently until their lease ends.
The constructive path forward is a candid, compassionate talk: share how her habits and the loss of shared fitness have affected the relationship, ask whether she is struggling with something deeper, and listen to her perspective. If they cannot reconcile those differences, parting ways is kinder than staying resentful.
Check out how the community responded:
These redditors roasted OP for his cruel language
This group called him out for stringing her along, demanding an immediate breakup to stop wasting her time
This commenter slammed his “insatiable blob” jab
Some suggested a mature talk first, noting that depression might be at play
These people pushed him to love her through her struggles or let her find someone who will
Attraction is deeply personal, but the way it’s handled defines the character of a partner. Reddit agreed on one thing: his girlfriend deserves honesty, whether the relationship continues or not. If love is still there, compassion could spark change. If not, letting her go sooner rather than later may be the most respectful path.
So, readers, what do you think? Should fading attraction be grounds for ending a relationship, or does commitment mean standing by through weight gain and lifestyle shifts? Would you have that hard conversation or quietly walk away?
