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Man Covers Entire Cruise For Girlfriend But Won’t Split Extra Credits, Is He Being Selfish?

by Marry Anna
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

When it comes to relationships, how far does the idea of “sharing everything” really go? For one couple, a disagreement over cruise credits led to a conflict about fairness and entitlement.

The man had booked the cruise and paid for it as a gesture of making up for a previous mistake. However, when his girlfriend found out about his additional credits, she demanded half.

She felt they should share everything, including the extra $350, but he argued that he was already covering the full cost of the cruise.

Was he wrong to hold onto the credits, or is she overreacting?

Man Covers Entire Cruise For Girlfriend But Won’t Split Extra Credits, Is He Being Selfish?
Not the actual photo

'AITA for not sharing half of my cruise credits with my girlfriend?'

I booked a 7-day cruise with my girlfriend, and I told her I would pay the cost of it to make up for a previous thing I had wronged her...

On the cruise, there are also gratuities that are more or less "mandatory" to pay to the tune of about $110. We had not talked about my paying for that.

As part of a promotion with booking the cruise, I got $150 credit that could be used for any purchase on the ship.

In addition, I used a credit card (Amex Platinum), which I pay $700 a year for, but which gave me an additional $200 credit, for a total of $350.

I told her that I had credits and I would pay for the cost of her gratuities, and I sent her the money.

While I was at guest services, she found out that I actually had $350 and got very upset that I was "hiding" this from her, and she demanded that I...

Her reasoning was that we are a couple, and this was a cruise I was supposed to share half of everything.

I argued that I paid a lot of money to get my extra $200 credit, and I was already covering every obligatory cost for the cruise, as I had agreed...

AITA for not splitting the extra money I received?

My opinion was that I was entitled to the entire amount, and she shouldn't even have felt like the money for the tip was hers, as I had paid the...

Edit: A few have commented that it depends on what I did wrong or if it was a financial wrong.

No, it was not a financial wrong.

I am choosing not to describe it because it would distract from the point of the post, but I was definitely the a__hole, so that's why I made up for...

Financial issues aren’t just about dollars and cents. They often reflect deeper values around fairness, trust, and shared decisions.

Couples who divide finances clearly or share financial decision‑making tend to report greater satisfaction, especially when they agree beforehand on how to share expenses and benefits.

In the situation described, the OP paid for the cruise entirely, covering lodging, basic costs, and gratuities, with the intention of making amends for a prior wrongdoing.

The extra $350 cruise credit came from personal choices: a card benefit and a booking promotion linked solely to the OP.

From his point of view, those credits were a personal “rebate,” not something purchased jointly. That alone gives a reasonable argument that he wasn’t obligated to split them.

Still, financial “extras” in a relationship often carry symbolic weight. For many couples, equitable sharing isn’t just about equal spending; it’s about mutual respect and emotional intimacy.

Studies show that perceptions of fairness in handling shared expenses are a stronger predictor of relationship satisfaction than even fairness in day‑to‑day chores or household labor.

When one partner receives an unexpected benefit, like a credit or rebate, and doesn’t share it, the other may interpret that as secretive or unfair. That perception can breed resentment, even if no agreement was explicitly broken.

Research on couple finances highlights the importance of open communication.

When partners regularly discuss money, align values about spending and saving, and decide jointly how windfalls are handled, they buffer themselves against financial stress and relational conflict.

In short, the OP’s claim that the credits were “his alone” is defensible.

But his girlfriend’s feelings that everything should be shared, including perks, reflects a valid perspective many couples hold: that being a “team” means sharing both costs and benefits.

The mismatch between those two perspectives, left unspoken until after the fact, is what triggered the conflict, not the credits alone.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

These Redditors focused on the fact that the apology cruise seemed excessive and that the situation felt transactional.

ellie729 − I’m going with YTA. You apparently did something so egregious that you agreed to pay for a cruise to make up for it, then squabbled over like $200...

What is that, a handful of drinks and a Royal Caribbean t-shirt? Just break up, lol.

FiddleStyxxxx − It's wild that you're paying for an entire cruise to apologize for something that you don't want to talk about on here, but if you're going to do...

This is supposed to be a gift to her, so you gave her $150 to spend, but you got $200.

It's kind of unfair, I suppose, but you're the one buying an entire apology cruise.

The whole situation is wild, and you don't mention what you did in the first place to create this situation.

EDIT: He commented (then deleted) that this is a 10+ family member cruise, and he invited his ex-wife on so she could be there with the kids.

He lied about this to his girlfriend, but she found out, so now he's paying for her to come along.

Then he lied about how much he was getting for booking their tickets, so I think she's upset that he's always withholding things. Information, money, the truth. YTA.

e11emnope − This relationship definitely sucks.

nomorepumpkins − YTA based on the fact that you felt the type of credit card was important to the story, but not how you wronged her and what you are...

These users called the relationship transactional, emphasizing that the OP’s behavior, particularly hiding credits and lying about the ex-wife, was deeply problematic.

DrukMeMa − ESH, your relationship is transactional, so what do you expect?

Conscious-Owl-8514 − YTA, you said in a comment that the reason you are buying an apology cruise is that you lied to your girlfriend about inviting your ex-wife on the...

So, as the console, she gets to come too, how nice she gets to spend time on the same cruise as the ex-wife you invited unbeknownst to her.

Then you tell her you have credits and pay her gratuity.

She must have assumed that you only had the amount to cover the gratuity because you purposefully left out the amount of credits you had. Omission is just a polite...

So not only does she get an apology for spending time on a cruise with the ex-wife you lied about, but now you are continuing to keep her in the...

YTA for keeping your girlfriend on a purposeful information diet when you are supposed to be in a partnership.

These commenters pointed out that while offering to pay for the cruise and gratuities was a step in the right direction, nitpicking over the credits was a bad move.

MiddleMuscle8117 − YTA for offering to pay for the cruise, but nitpicking over some credits.

Your girlfriend's reaction to learning you had the credits, on the surface, seems a bit intense, but I get the feeling it's the result of her having experienced your odd...

bopperbopper − I was going to say, of course, you should pay for the gratuities as that is part of the cost of a cruise...so you did the bare minimum.

But if you like your girlfriend, why wouldn't you want to share the credits?

Are you going on an excursion by yourself? Drinking by yourself? Going to the spa by yourself?

This group expressed strong disapproval of the OP’s behavior, suggesting that their actions were self-centered and inconsiderate.

MaxDeWinters2ndWife − May this type of relationship never find me.

NTA on this particular question (splitting the cruise credit), but I suspect you are a raging a__hole in all other facets of your life.

Also, stop f__king other women behind your girlfriend’s back.

Mundane-Cantaloupe78 − What is the previous thing you wronged her on?

Edit: YTA. You invited your ex-wife on a family cruise, and didn’t tell your gf. Then, to make up for it offered to pay for your gf.

Edit to share his comment: It's a complex situation that would warrant its own post, and it would distract from the point of the cruise credits.

I had invited my ex-wife to the cruise because I have children and wanted my ex to be able to go on the cruise with the children

(we would not be sharing rooms or even be near each other, and we would not be doing any activities together, and also this was a large family cruise with...

I had lied about it to my girlfriend, so I am definitely the one in the wrong for that, which is why I offered for her to come and I'd...

These users were curious about the nature of the wrongdoing, suggesting that the OP might have cheated or committed another serious offense.

faayth − Do you even like her?

CocoaCandyPuff − Was the “wrong on her” … cheating? Did she pass an STD? DV? I feel is kinda relevant to know.

Without any more context, I would say YTA. If you offer to cover all her expenses, that should include the gratuities.

You should have paid those and never mentioned the credits at all.

mercy_fulfate − Info: What did you do wrong to her? YTA. The edit settles it.

The fact that you won't even admit what you did and felt the need to take her on a cruise for it means it is something awful. My guess is...

These Redditors questioned the OP’s motivations, suggesting that their actions were a consistent pattern of being inconsiderate while attempting to fix things with grand gestures.

adjudicateu − Congratulations. You figured out how to be TA while putting together a trip to apologize for being TA. At least you’re consistent.

who_gon_check_me_boo − INFO: How long have you been together? How old are you? How comparable are your financial standings?

On one hand, the OP made a generous gesture by paying for the cruise and covering the gratuities.

On the other hand, it’s understandable that the girlfriend feels entitled to share in the extra benefits of the trip, especially if she views their relationship as one where everything is shared.

Was the OP right to keep the extra credits, or should they have split the windfall?

What do you think, should money always be shared in a relationship, or are there exceptions? Share your thoughts below!

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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