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Man Refuses To Pay Stepdaughter’s Tuition Because Her Grades Won’t Get Her Into Medical School

by Leona Pham
October 30, 2025
in Social Issues

Every parent wants to help their child succeed, but what happens when you feel like your child’s dreams are out of reach? For this man, his stepdaughter’s dream of becoming a doctor seemed increasingly unlikely as her grades fell short of what medical schools require.

He decided that unless she switched to a more realistic major, he would no longer fund her education. Was he right to demand this, or is he being too harsh? Keep reading to find out the tension that brewed in this family.

A stepdad refuses next semester’s tuition unless his C-average stepdaughter drops pre-med for a viable major

Man Refuses To Pay Stepdaughter’s Tuition Because Her Grades Won’t Get Her Into Medical School
not the actual photo

'AITA for not paying for my stepdaughter’s tuition because she wants to be a doctor?'

My wife and I have been married for a decade. She’s a stay at home wife and we have no children of our own.

She has a daughter from a previous relationship (Sarah) and we’ve gotten along for the most part.

Sarah is a junior in college and pursuing a biology degree with additional courses required by medical schools.

She’s had dream of being a doctor and helping people since her mom and I met. The problem is she’s not a very good student.

She’s failed her biology 1 class and had to retake it to get a B.

She really struggled in her next level biology class and finished with a C.

She also got a C in her chemistry class. She got a B in calculus 1 and 2.

She’s making A’s in her none science and none math classes so they’re padding her GPA which is at a 3.2.

This semester I just learned she will make B’s and C’s in her science and math classes.

I’m not a doctor and I don’t know any doctors but I did online research.

I found out that medical schools require many things but at the top of the list they is a high GPA and top grades in science and math classes.

With Sarah’s grades, she’s not getting into any medical school.

I even looked into nursing school to see if I can talk her into going that route and all the ones I looked at require higher grades than what she...

I talked with my wife about it and she said medical school looks at other things besides grades and that’s where Sarah excels.

She has a solid volunteer resume and she’s cares about people. I argued none of that matters if her grades are not good enough.

She argues that Sarah will do great in the interviews. Like I said, I have no experience with medical school so I can’t argue with her logic.

Instead, I talked with Sarah when she came home for Thanksgiving and told her to look into another major

because she might not be cut out to be a doctor. She ran to her mom and we all got into a huge argument.

I admit I lost my temper and yelled I’m not wasting any more money on something she’ll fail at.

I told them both I’m not paying for next semester’s classes unless she changes her major to something more realistic.

I feel bad, I really do but I’m not rich and I don’t have money to waste if she doesn’t have a chance to get into medical school. AITA?

Additional info: the reason why I want her to switch majors is that having a biology degree without any advanced degree is useless from my research.

While I don’t know any doctors, I have friends who have biology degrees without other advanced degrees and they couldn’t do anything with it.

One had to go back to school for another degree, one works as an assistant manager at Lowe’s, another has been a receptionist for 20 years.

They all advised against getting just a biology degree. While these are all noble jobs, they didn’t need to pay for a biology degree to get those jobs.

I’m still willing to pay for her degree if she switches to something that will allow her to get a good job.

OP’s stepdaughter, Sarah, has long dreamed of becoming a doctor, but her academic performance doesn’t align with the rigorous demands of medical school. As a result, OP is hesitant to continue financing her education, fearing that Sarah’s grades aren’t strong enough to secure admission to medical school.

According to Dr. Nicole Arzt, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in family dynamics, “Family expectations can create significant emotional tension, especially when a loved one’s goals do not align with the realities of their abilities.”

In this case, OP’s desire for Sarah to pursue a more practical and achievable career path is rooted in financial responsibility and concern for her future.

Dr. Arzt emphasizes that while OP’s concerns are valid, the approach taken toward communicating these concerns is crucial to preserving the family’s relationship.

Dr. Leon Seltzer, a clinical psychologist specializing in behavioral psychology, adds, “The pressure to achieve certain goals, especially from loved ones, can be overwhelming for both parents and children.” It’s important for OP to engage in open, empathetic discussions with Sarah and his wife, to explore alternative career paths without shutting down Sarah’s dreams.

Dr. Seltzer suggests that instead of issuing ultimatums, OP could frame the conversation around Sarah’s long-term success and financial independence, guiding her to realistic alternatives without dismissing her aspirations entirely.

The issue of paying for education is another delicate aspect. While OP’s financial concerns are valid, Dr. Arzt cautions, “Financial boundaries are necessary in relationships, but they must be communicated with care and respect.”

Sarah’s ambition to become a doctor may be deeply tied to her sense of identity, and questioning her ability to achieve that dream can feel like an emotional rejection.

OP and his wife can have a calm, honest conversation about Sarah’s options, which would be more productive than making decisions unilaterally.

Encouraging Sarah to explore realistic alternatives to her medical aspirations, while continuing to support her educational goals, can create a healthy balance between family expectations and financial responsibility.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

One Redditor claimed OP was wrong

SpeakingNight − YTA, but not because you told the truth and are being realistic about grades.

It's because you don't want to let her finish what she started. In my opinion, might as well let her finish her Bachelor's, no?

If she doesn't get into medical school, she chooses something else. Maybe she'll do a master's that you approve of and her future works out just fine.

Don't pay for another Bachelor's, that'd be on her in that scenario.

You should have simply said that medical school is very competitive and ask if she has a plan B.

Not yell at her to choose a new major by next semester or you're cutting her off. That's where YTA becomes my vote.

However, this group emphasized OP was not the jerk

nonamenonumber4378 − NTA The “y t a” are ridiculous. Medical schools are very competitive and everyone of them have a minimum GPA requirement.

If her GPA is below that, they’ll automatically reject her without the chance of an interview.

While she can make a decent living with a biology degree, she has to be good in science and math to excel in those fields.

If she’s making B’s and C’s, they’re not even going to interview her.

I understand the people saying you should give her a semester to improve but they don’t understand how science and math work.

The more advance science and math classes are built upon what should have been learnt in the lower level classes.

If she’s making B’s and C’s in lower level classes, she’s going to really struggle in upper level classes.

If she got a C in basic chem, she’s not going to get an A in organic chem.

hogwhistle07 − NTA - if she can’t pass Bio 1 & Chem 1 with high A’s, she will not pass the MCAT.

Basically, given all this information there is not a med school that will take her. She’s needs to find an alternate path in life.

ABeerAndABook − NTA, but a frank family discussion is in order to discuss what type of aid will be available after college.

Info: Has she taken Organic Chemistry yet? I remember knowing a bunch of people on a pre-med track back in college

and that class more than any other seemed to be a sorting hat for who continued on to med school. Edit: spelling.

MilkyPsycow − NTA Sometimes being a good parent is putting a stop to madness and saying no even though it’s hard.

I would go and speak with some professors and guidance counsellors about this

and see what they say then have her go with you before any decision is made about her future.

It’s her future so you can’t make the decision for her but you do control the money

and she clearly hasn’t put in 100% or she would have got extra tutoring or studied more,

done whatever she could have to learn what she needed for the best change at her chosen career. Is she aware the work that goes into being a doctor?

What it would be like? Is there some way she can go do some work at a hospital and see how hard it is, see if maybe nursing is best...

Perhaps look at others ways to help guide her instead of forcing what you think is best, help her see what you already see

Something_morepoetic − NTA-I suggest a conversation with an academic advisor so she can develop some realistic options.

nice52 − NTA I know people who graduated with biology degrees from a top 5 engineering school.

You can’t do much with a bio bachelor degree if you’re not going to med school.

Most people I know are either getting a PHD or working as a lab assistant for 50k.

A good compromise could be you let her pay for the school and if she excels you pay back her loans

Edit: lol never said it was useless just that you often don’t get paid as much as other engineering’s.

I started 6 figures as an engineer while my friends with bio majors are making a lot less.

You can be successful with any major but it doesn’t mean it’s wildly available.

The average bio major makes 20k less per other majors in STEM from my college

[Reddit User] − NTA for not paying for medical school.

However, since you were fine paying for her bachelor’s degree, you should probably meet that commitment.

Tell her that you’ll continue paying her tuition through her first degree and then she’ll need to arrange her own financing.

[Reddit User] − NTA Being a doctor is all about the science and processing cold facts and logic at the highest level.

And the pace of study is brutal. If she doesn't have straight As in science, she won't even get to the interview stage.

Perhaps your daughter already realises this and it's your wife who needs to understand that she's not helping by providing false hope to her 'special girl'?

While this user said everyone was wrong

TrainingDearest − ESH. How about having her talk to an academic counselor for one of the schools that she would be trying to get into?

They will flat out tell her whether or not she would be able to get into their programs.

Even the local community colleges know where your grades have to be to get into the associates degree programs they have.

Would love to hear your thoughts, do you agree with OP’s decision to push Sarah toward a new major, or do you think the medical dream is worth fighting for? Drop your comments below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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