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Man Tells Postpartum Wife She’s No Prize, Panics When Unemployment Hits

by Annie Nguyen
November 2, 2025
in Social Issues

Marriages endure fluctuations, yet consistent verbal cruelty erodes foundations faster than financial shifts. Partners expecting mutual support postpartum often find resentment instead, widening cracks until one demands exit.

Six years in, a husband unleashed insults on his wife’s body and efforts while managing five children and full-time work, culminating in divorce threats on her birthday. He consulted lawyers, boasted to networks, and hosted his child’s mother at home.

Job loss flipped his tune to reconciliation pleas. She proceeded with the separation anyway. Does commitment hinge on convenience? Scroll down for the reversal saga and Reddit’s verdict on prize claims.

A woman faces divorce threats from her husband amid postpartum struggles and family chaos, only for him to backtrack after losing his job

Man Tells Postpartum Wife She's No Prize, Panics When Unemployment Hits
Not the actual photo

My husband wanted a divorce, until he lost his job..am I the a__hole to follow through with filing?

My husband (34M) and I (38F) have been married for six years, together for nine.

We’ve had our ups and downs, but the biggest issue is how he speaks to me.

I just had our son one year ago.

When I was ten months postpartum, he told me I was fat and lazy,

and that all I did was take care of the baby and work.

At that time, I still had baby weight, was learning new routines, working full-time,

and caring for our baby and four other children while working 40 hours a week.

On my birthday, he demanded that I not leave the house or he would divorce me.

It just so happened that my daughter had an appointment at UCLA for her teeth that morning, so I took her.

He didn’t even say hello to me that day and slept in his game room.

He’s been sleeping there ever since, it’s been two months.

He told everyone he was divorcing me, spoke to an attorney,

and did all of this before even telling me he wanted a divorce.

He said I wasn’t the prize, that I’m almost 40 with four kids, three of them minors.

He claimed he’s the prize, in his prime, makes good money,

and that any woman would love to be in my shoes taking care of his kids.

He even invited his baby mother into the house to visit while I was out.

Fast forward, he loses his job and tells me to wait before moving.

Then he starts talking nicer to me and acting differently than before.

I told him I was still moving out and going forward with separating

because his actions didn’t align with someone who wanted to be with me.

It feels more like I’m just his only option at the moment.

Now he’s going around saying I’m a gold digger and that I’m leaving as soon as he loses his job.

He’s telling everyone he wanted to make it work, but that I’m the one choosing to leave.

So, am I the a__hole for following through with what he initiated, even after he lost his job?

Verbal abuse during postpartum recovery qualifies as emotional harm, with the husband’s comments on weight, laziness, and worthlessness aligning with patterns that erode self-esteem.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline identifies name-calling and public humiliation as control tactics, amplified here by birthday ultimatums and separate sleeping quarters.

Inviting another partner’s mother into the shared home while pursuing divorce constitutes a boundary violation, signaling intent to end the union.

The husband’s preemptive attorney consultation and announcements to networks formalized separation before discussion, meeting legal criteria for constructive abandonment in many states.

Unemployment prompted a reversal, a nicer tone, requests to delay moving, yet lacked apology or accountability, suggesting convenience over reconciliation.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula describes such shifts as “hoovering,” where abusers regain leverage during vulnerability.

“When the power dynamic flips, they rewrite history to position themselves as victims,” Durvasula notes in a MedCircle interview.

Postpartum depression affects one in seven women, according to the American Psychological Association; insults targeting body image exacerbate risk.

The wife’s full-time work plus care for five children (four minors) demonstrates capacity, contradicting laziness claims. Proceeding with filing honors her initiated boundary, not retaliation.

Family law attorney Laura Wasser advises documenting abuse timelines and financial contributions for equitable division, especially with minor children involved.

Spouses facing similar reversals benefit from immediate legal consultation to secure temporary support orders before asset concealment.

Therapy, individual, not couples, helps process trauma; the National Postpartum Depression Hotline offers free screening.

Countering defamation requires factual timelines shared calmly with mutual contacts, prioritizing children’s stability via parallel parenting apps.

Financial independence accelerates through budgeting tools from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

The wife’s persistence aligns with self-preservation, not gold-digging; his narrative inverts dependency.

Divorce initiated under duress holds when patterns persist post-circumstance change.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These Redditors urged ditching the abusive husband fast, calling out his toxicity and manipulation

miyuki_m − He's realizing that nobody wants an unemployed j__kass who verbally abuses his postpartum wife.

Leave him and focus on creating a healthy life for yourself and your kids.

LastAqua − Wait… he brought his side piece to your house.

Omg girl. You are NTA, unless you stay with this class A clown. Lawyer up and get what's yours.

wishingforarainyday − This guy is an emotionally abusive AH.

Tell him you’re sticking to his original plan of divorce. He doesn’t get to manipulate you.

No-Zookeepergame-610 − He’s not the prize. He’s an abusive piece of trash.

Leave him, you’ll be so much happier!

madgeystardust − He wants you to stay and pay the bills until he gets another job,

then he’ll decide he’s the prize again. NTA.

Users highlighted his narcissism and lies, advising her to expose his flip-flopping to silence the gold-digger narrative

llampie − He’s spinning right now, so narcissistic. Tell everyone he’s the real gold digger who only wants you for security.

Beneficial-Sort4795 − People already saw his bragging when he “left” you. They know he’s full of s__t.

You’ll be free soon, let him sleep on the pullout couch.

angelicak92 − Who cares what he says now? He’s broke and you’ve got cash, he’s the gold digger here. NTA.

Commenters cheered karma’s timing, mocking his “prize” ego now that he’s jobless and dependent

Rad1Red − So he’s still badmouthing you and being an a__hole.

Glad_Performer_7531 − Karma was him losing his job, more to come with that personality.

Love_Bug_54 − How can you be the gold digger when there’s no gold to dig? If anyone’s the gold digger, it’s him.

Good-Entrepreneur266 − Walk away, he ain’t worth the aggravation.

Famous-Register6945 − Sorry you had his babies and he’s saying HE’S the prize?

Girl, no. He lost his job, now wants to “work it out”? Please.

This user backed finalizing the divorce he started, predicting he’ll crash on family couches

NYCStoryteller − NTA. He said he was done, so let’s be done.

You’re the prize now, he’s unemployed and soon won’t afford rent.

Hope his parents have a spare couch. Get the divorce and what you’re owed.

In the end, this Redditor’s firm stance amid her husband’s jobless plea flips the script on who holds the real power in a crumbling marriage.

Do you think sticking to the divorce honors her self-worth after years of belittling, or should she give his “nicer” phase a shot for the kids? How would you spot and shut down financial flip-flops in your own relationships? Spill your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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