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Man Wanted His Girlfriend To Be “More Presentable”, She Told Him To Pay For It

by Annie Nguyen
October 30, 2025
in Social Issues

Most couples tease each other about little habits, like how long someone lingers in the bathroom getting ready. Lighthearted jabs usually stay harmless, especially when both partners put effort into looking presentable for themselves and each other.

But one playful comment spiraled into a three-month standoff. After her boyfriend mocked her routine, the girlfriend stopped shaving, waxing, applying makeup, and styling her hair entirely.

Now he wants the polished version back, while she insists the upkeep is costly and unnecessary, unless he helps foot the bill. What happens when a teasing remark turns into a full-blown beauty strike? Scroll down to find out.

One boyfriend sparked a grooming rebellion after teasing his girlfriend about her lengthy bathroom routines

Man Wanted His Girlfriend To Be “More Presentable”, She Told Him To Pay For It
Not the actual photo

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to wear makeup and take care of body hair?

My "26M" gf "24F" takes forever in the bathroom.

Upwards of 1 hour, sometimes closer to 2.

When I playfully ribbed her about this, she'd get irritated but nothing major.

3 months ago I was playfully teasing her and she flipped out.

She said she won't do anything anymore, and true to her word she hasn't shaved, waxed,

or put on makeup since then, and wears her hair looking like bedhead.

I told her that I got her point and would appreciate it

if she resumed doing things that I also do to stay presentable.

Her head hair improved a bit (although not even close to how it was before)

but she still has hair on her legs and underarms, semi-unibrow etc.

Now she's saying I have to pay her to resume taking care of herself,

which I find crazy as I'm not her sugar daddy.

Why should I pay for her to upkeep herself like she's my sugar baby?

I understand that it's her body, her choice etc., but if there are any guys out there who think they would be ok

if their gf had long underarm hair then you're a better man than me.

I haven't pushed her to do anything, nor am I enforcing any ultimatums.

If, as she says, I've been conditioned to want her to look a certain way... well, that sucks, but it's not my fault.

If we broke up, she'd pay for all of this beauty stuff herself, so why should I pay?

Anyone who says I'm TA, are you going to then start paying for all your girlfriends' beauty regimens,

or else be fine with 100% body hair and no makeup or hair care ever?

Be honest with yourselves.

"Gf's side:" He keeps being a d__k about how long I would take in the bathroom,

so as he said, I quit things he didn't even realize I was doing.

No makeup, no shaving/waxing, no brows, no waxing those moustache hairs,

I have curly frizzy hair so I stopped using product or straightening/curling with an iron,

no mani/pedi, no touching up or redoing my highlights.

Do I look like a beast? Sure. Am I a comfy, smug beast? Hell yes.

He rightfully pointed out that he takes care of himself for me(by shaving his beard and cutting his hair),

so I obligingly waxed my upper lip and got a haircut.

I'm continuing to do this whole thing because

1) it's so much less effort for me, 2) it's way cheaper, and 3) now that I stopped,

I feel like... why do I ever have to do all this s__t. It's unfair.

And if I have to do it because both of us have been conditioned to see me doing these things as the basic standards for a woman,

then he should pay half the costs.

I conservatively spend at least $1k a year on brows, shaving supplies, hair products, highlights, haircuts, and makeup.

Conservatively. He should have to pay me at least half if he wants me to do it,

and extra for painful things like bikini waxes if he wants me to do them again.

Otherwise it's not fair. "Both:" We love each other a lot and aren't actually fighting.

We recognized that we're having a difference in opinion,

and since neither has been able to sway the other we came to the court of public opinion.

The central conflict revolves around differing expectations of personal grooming in a romantic relationship, where the boyfriend prefers his girlfriend maintain hair removal and makeup routines, while she has ceased these practices after feeling criticized for the time they require.

Grooming standards are heavily influenced by cultural norms, with women facing disproportionate pressure to conform.

Research from the Journal of Gender Studies indicates that women spend significantly more time and money on appearance management than men, often due to societal expectations rather than personal preference.

According to Attest’s US Beauty & Grooming Report 2022, most Americans have shifted toward low-maintenance beauty routines since the pandemic, with 45% spending no more than 15 minutes a day on grooming and another 31% keeping it within half an hour.

The report also found that the average consumer spends between $26 and $50 per month on beauty and grooming products, while nearly a quarter spend as little as $10 to $25.

Body hair removal, in particular, lacks a hygienic basis; dermatologists from the American Academy of Dermatology confirm that shaving or waxing does not affect health, odor control, or cleanliness beyond basic hygiene, as body hair is a natural feature in both sexes.

The girlfriend’s $1,000 estimate closely matches recent findings from Advanced Dermatology’s 2024 report, which shows U.S. women spend about $1,064 per year on beauty and personal care, expenses often driven by societal beauty standards.

Relationship experts emphasize mutual respect for bodily autonomy.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, specializing in narcissistic and toxic dynamics, notes that imposing appearance standards can erode self-esteem and signal control, even if unintended.

In her analysis, partners should negotiate preferences without coercion, recognizing that attraction evolves and societal conditioning plays a role.

Licensed therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab advises couples to audit grooming efforts equitably: calculate total expenses for both partners’ routines and share costs if one benefits disproportionately from the other’s labor.

This approach fosters fairness, as the boyfriend’s grooming (beard trimming, haircuts) costs less and takes less time.

For resolution, the couple benefits from open dialogue on internalized biases.

The boyfriend’s eventual reflection on unlearning standards mirrors cognitive behavioral techniques recommended by the American Psychological Association to challenge gender norms.

If preferences remain incompatible, compromise, such as partial routines or cost-sharing, prevents resentment.

Ultimately, sustainable partnerships prioritize emotional connection over rigid aesthetics, allowing natural variations without financial or emotional penalties.

The girlfriend’s contentment without these routines highlights empowerment, while the boyfriend’s willingness to adapt supports long-term compatibility.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

These Redditors slammed the boyfriend as YTA for expecting her effort without sharing costs

BrandiLovesAnt − YTA. Pay the beast.

anarmchairexpert − YTA boyfriend, obviously. You want her to look a certain way, but you also expect her to pay for it?

Split the grooming costs 50:50, that’s fair.

CannibalBun − YTA, boyfriend. She doesn’t want to anymore, but says she’ll do it if you pay half the supplies.

That’s not “paying her to look pretty,” that’s equality.

saltybluemermaid − Sorry to say, but YTA here. She’s content with herself now,

if you want her to change, why should she pay for it?

memewasher − YTA. If you can’t handle her naturally, you don’t deserve her when she does herself up special for you.

This user cheered ditching winter shaving and upper-lip bleaching to reject patriarchal beauty myths

[Reddit User] − Honestly, I don’t shave in the winter, it’s time-consuming, boring, and costs money.

I’ve stopped bleaching my upper lip too.

All that stuff exists to keep women distracted and spending money. Eff that. Welcome to the patriarchy. YTA.

This commenter saw fairness in splitting extra grooming costs if he wants more than basics

mortimer5 − YTA. Both were petty, but if you want her to go beyond her normal grooming for your preference, then splitting the cost is fair.

This Redditor hailed the girlfriend as a queen for her natural rebellion

yurgtheburg − Girlfriend is a f***ing QUEEN.

This user called ESH for pettiness, urging compromise on mutual attraction standards

sssponnn − ESH. You both need to talk about mutual grooming standards instead of turning it into a power struggle. Petty fights like this aren’t sustainable.

In the end, Reddit’s reality check turned teasing into growth; the boyfriend owned his part, even shaving his legs for empathy, while she resumed select grooming out of love, not obligation. It’s a reminder that beauty battles often hide bigger talks about effort and equity.

Do you think splitting costs is a fair fix for mismatched grooming vibes, or should partners just embrace the fuzz? How would you navigate a “beast mode” standoff without losing the spark? Spill your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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