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Mom Decides To Ban Husband From Baby Shower And Birth Just Because They’re Gonna Have A Boy

by Jeffrey Stone
January 5, 2026
in Social Issues

An ultrasound surprise flipped a family’s world when it revealed a boy after doctors predicted a girl, unleashing the dad’s wild celebration. His earlier reactions to girls had been warm but restrained, and this difference crushed the mom.

Stung by his blunt admission that he always wanted a son, she decided to bar him from the baby celebration and even the delivery room, framing it as protection against future favoritism. Her heartbreak fueled fears the girl would forever feel second-tier, yet the drastic step threatened to shatter their marriage irreparably over one moment of unchecked excitement.

Woman considers barring husband from baby event and birth over his stronger excitement for son than daughter.

Mom Decides To Ban Husband From Baby Shower And Birth Just Because They're Gonna Have A Boy
Not the actual photo.

'WIBTA if I didn't let my husband attend the baby shower or birth of our child?'

My husband (29yo) and I (28yo) have a daughter (3yo), he was happy when I told him she was a girl.

We're having another and when I had my ultrasound, I was told it was another girl, again my husband was Happy.

Turns out I was told wrong, and it's actually a boy we're having, my husband freaked out in excitement.

His reaction to us having a boy was nothing like his either of his reactions to having a girl.

He was actually jumping around and yelling, he immediately called all his friends and family,

he kept hugging and swinging our daughter around telling her she's getting a brother.

I confronted him about not being this excited about having girls, and he said “cause I wanted a boy”.

I got so p__sed off, I don't want him at the baby shower (I guess it's not really a baby shower as we're not asking for anything, but still) or...

He thought I was kidding at first, but once he realized I serious got really upset and started an argument over it.

WIBTA if I didn't let him attend the baby shower or birth?

A simple gender reveal correction turned into a full-blown confrontation, leaving the wife questioning her husband’s enthusiasm levels for their daughter versus the incoming son.

It’s totally valid to feel stung when a partner’s reaction seems lopsided. After all, no parent wants their child to sense any hint of lesser excitement. The husband’s admission that he “wanted a boy” poured fuel on the fire, making her fear long-term favoritism.

On the flip side, he was genuinely happy about their daughter both times. The extra fireworks for a son might stem from a lifelong dream of father-son bonding, like tossing a ball or shared hobbies. Many dads harbor that quietly without it meaning less love for daughters.

Yet, the disparity in celebration could unintentionally send mixed signals to their toddler, who’s old enough to notice big emotions. Experts note that parental preferences for one gender, even subtle, can influence family dynamics over time. Historically, many cultures favored sons for practical reasons, but in modern Western societies, preferences have shifted or balanced out.

According to a longstanding Gallup poll, Americans have shown a slight lean toward preferring boys when asked hypothetically, though recent trends suggest this is waning, with some evidence of emerging daughter preferences in certain contexts. Globally, son preference has declined dramatically in places like South Korea and China due to changing social norms.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Bronwyn Leigh explains, “Gender disappointment is the disappointment in the gender of the unborn or newly born baby, beyond a preference. It’s when the expectant parent or parents have a desire for the opposite gender and they feel, not only disappointed, but robbed and angry. It is about being highly invested in what you imagined and grieving for not getting it.”

Dr. Leigh adds, “It’s not a well understood area in terms of the extent of it or how often it happens, whether mum or dad experience it more, or if there is a preference for girls or boys.” This highlights how strong expectations can lead to real emotional responses, though in this story, it’s the inverse, the thrill of getting the preferred gender clashing with past reactions.

Ultimately, banning a supportive dad from key moments like the birth could create lasting rifts, as several commenters pointed out.

Better approaches? Calm chats about feelings, maybe couples counseling to unpack motivations, and reassurance that excitement levels don’t equal love. Addressing concerns early prevents kids from internalizing biases, fostering a home where both children feel equally cherished.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some people judge the OP as the asshole for overreacting and planning to exclude the husband from major events.

ChemMJW − YTA. Not wanting your husband to attend a baby shower and/or the birth of his own child because he is excited about having a son,

which you interpret years-later as him having been insufficiently excited (for your personal taste) about having a daughter is, honestly,

one of the most mind-numbingly dumb and a__hole-ish things I've ever read in this sub.

Not only are you the a__hole, you're the a__hole a thousand times over.

My_Panache − YTA By your own acknowledged he wasn't sad or angry about having a girl, he was happy.

He was just happier to have a boy. You're reading into this way too much.

GirlL1997 − YTA He was never upset about having a girl, he is just excited to have a boy.

Nothing wrong with that. He has probably always wanted to have a son, and that’s okay!

Some people say the OP would be the asshole if she excludes him, urging communication instead of punishment.

[Reddit User] − I can understand your feelings over this, that has to be a little hurtful and frustrating for you.

But speaking as a dad this seems like an overreaction on both parts.

The guy is that excited to have a son and you are wanting to deny him being at his son's birth? Maybe he should have toned that down a bit...

Let me offer this perspective. Do you have any idea how many kids out there have sperm donors who don't seem to give a s__t about them?

Just the other day on here there was a story about a woman going to an ultrasound appointment like you

and her husband ditched her at the last second to have lunch with a friend.

Your husband is present, engaged, it sounds like he is engaged and active with your daughter as well, and he's stoked that he's having a boy.

Maybe this has been a lifelong dream of his, to have a son.

EDIT TO ADD: I'm not saying you should praise him for doing the bare minimum of showing up and being supportive,

but he is showing up, and if you can't appreciate that, then at the very least, don't punish him for it.

Now obviously the hope is that he does not play favorites, but until the kids get to that age, you're not going to know if he will do that or...

If you ban him from his own child's birth, YTA. Also: If I've learned anything from the amount of couple's therapy I've gone through with my own wife,

it's that any kind of withholding techniques used as punishment toward a partner

(I. e. not talking, withholding affection, not allowing into space, etc.) only ever makes your partner resent you that much more.

Is that really how you want your son's life to start?

Edit to add: PLEASE READ BEFORE COMMENTING: Since so many people mistakenly seem to think I am saying

this woman should be "over the moon" or "falling at his feet" for doing what they are calling the "bare minimum",

allow me to clarify what I meant when I offered the perspective above: Appreciation goes a long way, and sets the tone for a better relationship.

When my wife shows appreciation for even the most basic things, it actually makes me feel good

and therefore more motivated to do bigger and better things, and vice versa when I show my appreciation for her.

The lack of appreciation, or taking things for granted, sows the seeds for resentment and has quite the opposite effect.

If even the little things aren't appreciated why should I bother to try and do more?

Any marriage counselor or couple that has been married a long time can tell you this.

The little things really do matter. OP's concerns are totally valid, but her reaction is not.

Rather than jump straight to punishing a man who is present and trying, (for something he hasn't done yet)

OP needs to TALK with her husband and tell him how his reaction made her feel,

listen to his perspective and try and work this out via mutual respect and appreciation for one another through deeper communication.

A counselor would be an excellent support for that endeavor.

TL;DR: Stop taking your supportive husband for granted and talk to him about your concerns/feelings

before you push him away and invalidate HIS feelings without listening to them.

stellabluebear − Excluding him from those events isn't going to change anything, other than deteriorating your marriage.

He's still going to be the dad to both of these kids, regardless of how excluded he is.

I think you need to communicate with him and tell him why you're upset, tell him about your fears

(presumably that he'll favor the son etc) and work through it together.

mr_cesar − YWBTA. You're being very immature if you don't let him attend the "baby shower," even worse the birth.

I think it's very likely he wanted a boy because you two already have a girl,

not because he never wanted a girl in the family all along (it seems to me you may be getting this kind of idea).

You're making a big deal out of this and your reaction could in fact erode your relationship. Don't grow resentment over something like this.

Some people share personal experiences of gender disappointment while affirming excitement for one gender is normal.

safarimotormotelinn − I cried when I found out I was having a girl.

I have a s__t relationship with my mom and was so scared she wouldn't love me that I wanted a boy.

My daughter is the best human I've ever met and I wouldn't trade her for anything but in the moment, I was upset.

By the time I had my son, I wanted another girl. Lol. YTA.

Just because he's really excited for a boy doesn't mean he has a problem with girls. If he's a good dad and husband then you need to let this go.

[Reddit User] − YTA- excluding would be a relationship ender for me and many others.

It doesn’t sound like he treats your daughter badly or complained about having a second girl.

So what’s the problem that he got excited for unexpectedly having a boy?!

I know women who had similar reactions to having a girl doesn’t mean they love their sons any less.

Some people acknowledge OP’s hurt feelings but criticize extreme reactions like exclusion.

Embarrassed-Debate60 − No judgment, as I would be disgusted too. But please talk with him after you’ve had a chance to reflect,

and be honest about your feelings rather than doling out “punishments”.

One thing to ask him is what your existing child might be unconsciously internalizing about her worth,

based on his reaction to this, and if/how that’s going to play out going forward?

thirdtryisthecharm − ESH He should not have shown this disparity of reaction to your daughter.

She's young, but she's still old enough to pick up on biases. You need to decide how you wanna move forward with this relationship.

Yeah his difference in reaction was s__tty, but do you want to tank the entire relationship & marriage as a result?

Because excluding him from the birth is the kind of thing that creates a permanent rift in a relationship - you don't get to take that back or walk back...

Drawing these boundaries then expecting the relationship to just function normally isn't reasonable.

In the end, this family’s boy-bounce blew up a quiet bias bomb, but sidelining Dad from delivery or welcome bash might scar deeper than any ultrasound slight, picture lifelong “why wasn’t I enough?” echoes for all three kids. Fair ultimatum amid high stakes, or knee-jerk overreach?

How’d you balance sibling cheer in your crew, mandatory dad-daughter dances or therapy timeouts? Spill your wisdom below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/2 votes | 50%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 1/2 votes | 50%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/2 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/2 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/2 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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