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Mom Refuses To Let Sister See Her Son After Years Of Resentment Over Childhood Responsibilities

by Leona Pham
December 11, 2025
in Social Issues

Some siblings grow up with deep bonds, but for others, the resentment from childhood can seep into adulthood in ways that are hard to overcome.

For one woman, her sister’s constant reminders of how her own childhood was “ruined” by caring for her created a divide that seemed impossible to mend. Despite her efforts to apologize, the emotional toll of being blamed for something she had no control over eventually wore her down.

When her pregnancy announcement led to more hurtful comments from her sister, she decided that enough was enough. Now, with her baby born, her sister wants to make amends, but the woman still isn’t ready to let her back into her life.

Was she wrong for keeping her son from his aunt, or is she justified in keeping that boundary in place? Scroll down to find out how this difficult family situation played out.

A young mom refuses to let her sister meet her baby after years of emotional hurt and resentment over how her sister treated her during childhood

Mom Refuses To Let Sister See Her Son After Years Of Resentment Over Childhood Responsibilities
not the actual photo

'AITA for not allowing my sister to see my son because of something she said months ago?'

I have two older siblings. My brother, 32 and my sister, 33. I am 21. I found out I was pregnant last year.

Everyone was more than happy for us and congratulated us. Everyone but my sister.

My sister had to basically look after me and take on a third parent role

and watch me on nights my parents worked or weekends they worked.

Because of that, she blamed me and hated me because I was the reason she lost her childhood.

I’ve apologized countless times to her because this topic came up frequently but after a while,

I gave up trying to make it up to her for something I had no control over.

Over and over again I’d get phone calls out of the blue of her reminding me

how much I f**ked her childhood up and “had no remorse”.

(Btw shout out to all of you older siblings who were forced to grow up too soon and look after your little siblings.)

When I announced my pregnancy my sister called me and ruined the moment

by bringing up how she had to raise me, how she lost her childhood.

Then, she started talking about my unborn child.

Saying how I’m having my baby at an early age because I want him to raise his future little siblings like she had to.

She continued on how I’d never make a good mom because I didn’t grow up like she did.

I finally had enough of her and went no contact.

My son was born last month and everyone has gotten a chance to see him on facetime.

My brother and parents were the only ones to see him in person.

My sister got in contact with my brother and told him to tell me when she can see him.

I told him to tell her she isn’t allowed to see him because of the way she treated me when I was pregnant.

I’m assuming she told our parents this because my dad wants me to let her see my baby.

He said let bygones be bygones and stop living in the past and my mom agreed.

My fiancé is on my side. My brother is more on her side and only thinks

she should apologize for what she said about me being a bad mom

(which she’s refused to apologize for because she insists she did nothing wrong).

I'm not too keen on letting her see him still. I feel like i’m being an a__hole by not allowing her to see him, AITA?

Editing to add my brother also babysat me he always said it wasn’t as bad as my sister makes it out to be.

(also adding he didn’t watch me as much as she did when he started to play sports)

I barely remember my childhood days I just know she stopped looking after me once I was 8-9.

Family love doesn’t always protect us from pain. In families shaped by imbalance, resentment can linger long after the events that caused it, especially when those events touch on responsibility, lost childhood, and unspoken expectations.

In this Reddit story, what seems like a simple question about whether a sister should meet a newborn is actually about unresolved emotional conflict.

The OP’s sister repeatedly blamed her for losing her childhood, criticizing her long before the baby was born and continuing even after congratulations were shared. That ongoing blame isn’t just criticism; it represents a deeper wound tied to childhood responsibilities that were never fully acknowledged or processed.

When the sister linked the pregnancy to more caregiving for future sibling children, she crossed a boundary that conflated past hurt with present judgment.

The OP’s choice to go no-contact isn’t arbitrary; it’s a protective response to repeated verbal harm combined with a lack of genuine apology.

While most readers might see this as a simple matter of forgiveness versus resentment, it helps to consider how childhood roles deeply shape adult relationships.

Psychology research shows that siblings who take on heavy caregiving roles, sometimes called parentification, may carry unresolved resentment and burnout into adulthood.

Parentification occurs when a child provides consistent caregiving to siblings or parents, often at the expense of their own developmental needs, which can affect emotional health later in life.

Those raised in such roles may struggle with anxiety, guilt, and boundary-setting in adult relationships.

Sibling relationships themselves are unique and long-lasting bonds rooted in shared environments and experiences. But early dynamics, like caregiving imbalance or role reversal, can leave lasting emotional traces that resurface in adulthood.

It’s common for childhood patterns of conflict and caregiving to influence how siblings relate long after they’ve left the family home.

This perspective helps explain the sister’s harsh reactions: she may be replaying her own unmet emotional needs from childhood rather than addressing the OP’s actual circumstances.

It doesn’t excuse hurtful behavior, but it contextualizes it within well-established family dynamics that influence adult attachment patterns and conflict responses.

At the same time, the OP’s choice to set boundaries is grounded in emotional self-protection. Setting limits, especially with someone who repeatedly invalidated her feelings, is a healthy, mature response that many therapists recommend when a relationship feels psychologically unsafe.

Rather than viewing this as stubbornness, it can be seen as an attempt to break a cycle of old dynamics that caused pain in the first place.

Check out how the community responded:

These commenters emphasized that the sister’s anger is misplaced and should be directed at the parents for their failure in parenting

Consistent-Leopard71 − NTA. Your sister is understandably angry, but her anger is misplaced.

She should be angry with your parents. Your parents forced her to give up her childhood to become a 3rd parent to you.

The things she has said to you are unacceptable. She should seek therapy and apologize to you.

Your parents are on her side because she is blaming you for their abuse.

It's your child and your choice who has a relationship with him. You have done nothing wrong.

Congrats on your little one! EDIT: Thank you to all of the redditors who very generously gave me awards! !!!!

Ghinou1204 − NTA Your parents say "let bygones be bygones"? They should tell that to your sister, not to you.

CremeDeMarron − NTA let me say it out loud OP:

YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING HER CHILDHOOD: your parents are.

You are doing the right thing when you don t allow her to see your baby: you are a mother who is protecting her child.

Your sister definetly has issues that she should deal with therapy and confrontation with your parents.

She wrongly blame all of her issues, angryness resent feelings and frustation into you.

Plus she didn't apologize to you: she thought she was right

so if you allow her again in your life her behaviour toward you won't change at all.

Focus on your family, and keep people who are supporting you with only positive thoughts/attitude.

Let you parents and brother know that they have to respect your no contact decision

and they have to stop pushing you. The family / let the past behind card is bs .

mckinnos − NTA. If she can’t forget about the distant past, why should you have to forget about the recent past?

She does not sound genuinely remorseful or apologetic.

Why would you want someone so mean to you (when REALLY she should be mad at your parents) around your baby?

This group highlighted the unfair treatment the sister received from the parents

Duukt − NTA whether you reconcile with your sister or not.

It is odd that she blames you for the parentifaction forced on her by HER parents.

Was your brother not made to do the same or was he not involved in raising you because he's male?

Superb-Building-8701 − Honestly, you sister ITAH by like 40%, the biggest AH are your parents.

They took away your sisters childhood, not you. Her blame for that is misplaced.

She should be angry at your parents, since you know, they are the ones that are supposed to raise you!

She is the AH for being so rude and misplacing the blame.

I can understand that she is angry and couldn't control the situation when she was younger,

but now she is grown up and have to be responsible for her emotional respons. Does she have children?

Could she also be jealous? I feel the blame is way to misplaced!

Your parents should also STFU they do not get to walk away from the problem THEY created.

StrawberryAstre − NTA. "Because of that, she blamed me and hated me because I was the reason she lost her childhood."

What is wrong with her, she should blame YOUR PARENTS not you."

I’m assuming she told our parents this because my dad wants me to let her see my baby.

He said let bygones be bygones and stop living in the past and my mom agreed "

It is super easy to say that, when she is putting all their mistakes on you.

Also, watching your brothers and sisters once in a while is normal? What did she want you to do? Not be born?

You're definitely not guilty on this and you have the right to not want to deal

with someone who uses you as an emotional punshing ball to avoid her own difficulties.

These users supported the poster’s decision to go no-contact, stressing the need for the sister to apologize for her past behavior

[Reddit User] − NTA Firstly, it’s not your fault your sister didn’t have a childhood.

If anything, she should be blaming your parents.

Secondly, her assumption that you will be a bad mum because you didn’t have to babysit anyone

doesn’t even make any sense! By that logic, every person without younger siblings are crap parents.

Bloody ironic for your dad insisting that you “let bygones be bygones”

when your sister has spent her entire life holding this grudge.

So until YOU are comfortable being in contact with your sister, she just has to bloody wait.

Side note: I am 14 years older than my youngest sibling and never had I held a grudge for babysitting.

The only awkward thing was people assuming I was a teenage mum (of multiple children lol)

Hollow_Vegetable − It’s not only for the way she treated you while pregnant, but this situation was years in the making.

Your sister blaming you for her lost childhood is a projection.

You apologizing for something you had no control over, allowed her to make you into the “villain of the picture”.

You should have never apologized for it and that is something you need to tell your parents and your sister.

They want it to be over, as a bare minimum you should ask them to:

1-Your parents need to apologize for their complete parenting failure.

First by their parentification of your sister by pushing their parental duties on her.

And second by standing by all those years that she was verbally abusive towards you,

not intervening or putting a stop to it, and admitting their own culpability.

How can they stand by and let her abuse you, while knowing it was their fault it all happened? How do they rationalize it?

If this happened purely out of economic reasons, and there was really no other way around it,

they still need to fess up to your sister and find a way to make it up to her.

For too long they have been happy to let this situation “fester” until it was brought to a halt by you.

You finally decided to put an end to it and now they need to find a way out of it that no longer

includes your sister venting on you and you taking the blame for it.

2-It’s on your parents to “fix“ what they broke.

They need to go to therapy with your sister and work on repairing their broken relationship.

Help your sister let go of her anger, and “put it behind her”, instead of requesting you do it because it is easier for everyone.

3-Your sister needs to apologize for all those years spent verbally and emotionally abusing you.

You're going NC is only a mechanism to protect yourself and your family from her verbal abuse.

However, it seems that her h__red towards you is because she views you as the favorite daughter

who had all of the advantages growing up, while she was the only one required to make “sacrifices”.

Note that your brother was not expected to make the same sacrifices,

so it was a completely unfair treatment by your parents towards her.

Only after that happens, then you can start re-building your relationship with your sister.

MandaDian − NTA. Your dad needs to give that advice to your sister and tell her to apologize to you.

If she still has this resentment towards you all these years later, I wouldn’t trust her not to be a d__k to the baby.

These commenters focused on the importance of accountability and boundaries

Obakewriter − NTA, your sister needs therapy to reduce the heaps of resentment

she has accumulated over these years. The real a**holes are your parents.

GothPenguin − NTA-Everyone eventually has to learn that actions have consequences that includes your sister.

Blaming you for her lost childhood, accusing you of having a son this early so you can make him lose his childhood

as well and calling you a bad mom all have the same consequence. No seeing your baby.

Elegant_Syllabub8608 − Nta Your dad telling you to let bygones be bygones,

seems your sister is the one that needs to let go and put the blame where it really lies WITH YOUR PARENTS!

He is your son if you don't want someone around him, than don't let them bully or guilt you into it!

This group condemned the entire family for their failure to address the real issues

doodles2019 − NTA, just because someone is blood doesn’t mean they aren’t toxic.

Does she ring your parents and scream at them for losing her childhood? Cause that’s where the blame really sits.

[Reddit User] − Every single person in your life (except your partner) is TA and they have failed you.

Some more than others.

Parents: They made your sister do what they should have taken care of and robbed her of her childhood.

Also, they are making it out like your feelings are unimportant and want you to allow your sister back in your life,

because this way they don't have to take responsibility for their bad parenting.

Sister: Rude, misplaced anger, should not have said those things,

and she should have taken steps to heal from this. She was wronged, but it's not your fault.

Brother: Just because he had it easier doesn't mean that your sister has no right to feel wronged.

Also he's TA for invalidating your feelings after your sister was extremely disrespectful and hurtful.

Overall, you are NTA, and I wish you, your baby and your partner all the best <3

The wife’s decision to keep her sister away from her baby is difficult but completely understandable given the years of emotional abuse and unresolved resentment.

It’s clear that the sister’s anger is rooted in deeper family issues, and the wife’s need to protect her child from that environment is valid.

Do you think the wife is right to maintain this boundary, or should she try to reconcile with her sister? What would you do in her situation? Share your thoughts below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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