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Mom Surprised After Stepson Asks for Babysitting Money Following a 5-Kid Emergency

by Believe Johnson
February 4, 2026
in Social Issues

Family emergencies often act like a sudden gust of wind. They can knock us off balance and force us to move quickly. In those high-stress moments, we usually look for the path of least resistance. We hope our loved ones will step up and help us keep things running smoothly. However, even in a crisis, boundaries are still very important.

A mother recently found herself in a swirl of panic after her brother was in an accident. In the rush to get to him, she and her sisters left a total of five children with her 17-year-old stepson. While the emergency was real, the aftermath turned into a complicated debate about money and maturity. When the teen asked to be paid for his time, the conversation shifted from gratitude to guilt.

This story reminds us that even “helpers” have a limit when it comes to being taken for granted.

The Story

Mom Surprised After Stepson Asks for Babysitting Money Following a 5-Kid Emergency
Not the actual photo

AITA for telling my stepson that I was disappointed when he asked for money for watching my sisters kids?

I'm a mother of 3 kids. My oldest is my stepson "Kayden" (17). He's pretty much like my biological children who are 4 & 8.

We live in a home where problems are pretty much non-existant. Kayden helps me out sometimes by watching his younger brothers in case of an emergency.

He does it without asking for anything in return. Last week, I had to go out of town for a family emergency. My 2 other

sistsrs went with me but they had no time to arrange for child care for their children. We ended up dropping the kids (3 of them)

with Kayden to watch along with his brothers. Kayden didn't say anything he just remained quiet, so I figured he was fine with it and he

was. However, when we got back he told me he expects my two sisters to actually pay him for watching their kids. I was caught off

guard by this. I told him those are his stepcousins, but he stated he didn't have to watch them and technically never agreed to watch them

although he said nothing when he saw them enter our home. I asked why he said nothing from the start and he said he didn't feel

it was appropriate for him to bring it up while I was in a state of panic and worry. I told him that I was disappointed

in his request for money and asked if he doesn't consider his stepcousins family. He said that this wasn't the point he was trying to

make and that all I have to do is ask my sisters (his aunts) to pay him. We had a loud argument and my husband sided

with him saying using words like "disappointed" was wrong and told me that I should just rely this message to my sisters and tell them

to pay. I haven't told them yet. I'm worried about what they might say about the whole asking for money thing. They'd think that Kayden

does not see them as family and is being an opportunist. Context" The emergency is my brother getting involved in an accident. Allow me to answer

as many questions as possible. (1) Did you ask Kayden whether or not he was willing to watch those 5 kids on his own? - I

did not ask, I just explained the situation to him AND gave him time to speak up but he didn't. He just stared at me

then at his phone. But he was kind of shocked when he saw the kids come inside. (2) How long were you gone?.....Did you leave

him with five kids overnight? - We were gone for 12 hrs. (3) Why do you think it is okay to not pay him? - It's

just that it felt harsh and inconsiderate to tell my sisters "hey, Kayden says you should pay him for leaving his stepcousins with him..." see

how this looks/sounds? His aunts adore him and I don't want this to affect how they see him. I can not stress this enough, his

aunts love him so much and call him the rational/mature one in this generation in the family (4) How old are the step cousins? - The

stepcousins are 6 and 12 and 7 (my niece) (5) a. Where are the dads? - My sisters are sahms, Childcare falls on them. Their

husbands had to work and told them to figure it out. Honestly thrir husband are unsupportive and if anyone should pay for childcare, it's them.

That's just my opinion. b. Where’s his dad? - Who? Kayden's dad? He was working as well but he looks after the kids when home.

Kayden only watches them when there's something urgent. c. Where's Kayden's bio mom? - The woman is deceased.

Oh, my goodness. My heart goes out to the mom for the stress of her brother’s accident, but my heart also really aches for Kayden. Watching five children, ranging from toddlers to tweens, is an incredibly tall order for anyone, let alone a teenager. Doing it for twelve hours straight is essentially running a mini-daycare center.

It is a bit tough to hear that the word “disappointed” was used against him. Kayden actually showed so much maturity by waiting until the panic had passed to speak up. He didn’t want to add to her stress during the actual emergency. That feels like the opposite of an “opportunist.” It feels like he was being a very considerate son who finally hit his limit on being unpaid labor.

Expert Opinion

In family dynamics, there is a term often used called “parentification.” This occurs when a child or teenager is expected to take on the emotional or practical responsibilities of an adult. While helping out during an emergency is normal, expecting a teen to manage a large group of children for free can strain the parent-child bond.

According to reports from Healthline, healthy boundaries are the secret ingredient to any functional relationship. When those boundaries are crossed, especially involving labor or money, resentment can grow quickly. Kayden was trying to communicate that his time has value, especially when the children he was watching weren’t even his immediate siblings.

The ratio of five children to one teenager is also quite significant. Many professional childcare standards recommend much smaller ratios for children under the age of ten. Handling a 12-hour shift with five young kids is a massive task that requires constant attention. It is a full day of work, not just “keeping an eye out.”

Dr. Kenneth Shore, a school and family psychologist, often shares that “the best way to foster responsibility is to acknowledge it.” Rather than using guilt to motivate a teen, acknowledging their effort with fair compensation or deep gratitude goes a long way. He explains that dismissing a teen’s request for money by calling them “not family-oriented” can be very damaging to their self-esteem.

At the end of the day, family members should be our biggest supporters. This often means being the first people to offer a fair wage for a hard day’s work. When we treat our teenagers like adults in terms of responsibility, we should probably also treat them like adults when it comes to compensation.

Community Opinions

The internet community felt very protective of Kayden. Many readers pointed out that the mother was projecting her own awkwardness onto her son’s reasonable request.

Readers felt that leaving five children with a 17-year-old for twelve hours crossed a line from “favor” to “exploitation.”

Sel-Reddit − YTA. You dumped 3 extra kids on him and now you’re blaming him for not making a fuss...

If your sister was willing to arrange childcare, why shouldn’t she pay him? Taking care of 5 kids is A LOT.

Poekienijn − Wait… so you dropped 5 kids with your teenage son without even asking him or offering to pay him for his time? YTA.

ayesh00 − YTA. Stop using your stepson as free labour.

Creative_Hair_9268 − YTA - You offered the services of a 17 year old to care for F I V E kids….

Didn’t even ask just left the kids, and you’re disappointed with him? What does being family have to do with babysitting?

Many commenters highlighted that Kayden was being incredibly respectful by waiting for the right time to bring up his concerns.

RascalBird − ...he showed signs of maturity, empathy and astuteness. He spared you the embarrassment of having to back pedal on your assumption

that he would be okay with it when things were going down. This alone should be rewarded.

whodis551 − YTA! ! he didn’t say anything at first bc he thought of your feelings-

you were panicked and he didn’t want to burden you! He watched all the kids and you said you are disappointed in HIM? ???

axley58678 − ...he went about telling you his feelings after the emergency had passed in the most respectful and appropriate way possible and you still gave him s__t.

The comment section was quick to point out that being related to someone does not mean your labor should always be free.

[Reddit User] − YTA... Also, you claim he’s like your other children but you use words like “step son” and “step cousin”. You’re the problem here.

Emeraldsof − YTA. Being related to someone doesn't entitle you to unlimited free baby sitting from them.

It's okay to ask for a favor once in a while, but don't be shocked if they started asking for money.

Status-Pattern7539 − There is an opportunist is the family…it’s not your step son... IDC what you say.

One of your sisters could have stayed behind and looked after the kids.

Several users mentioned that the aunts should be the ones to step up and pay for the services they received.

corgwin − YTA... Not only do I think you should ask for money, but probably suggest what you and Kayden both think is a fair amount.

How-Peculiar − YTA. He’s not a live in babysitter. YOU should pay him on behalf of your sister.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

When you find yourself needing a major favor from a family member, try to think about the “cost” to them. This isn’t always about money; it is about their time, energy, and freedom. It is helpful to start the conversation by acknowledging how big the ask is. This makes the person feel seen and valued rather than just useful.

If a family member—especially a young person—asks for payment after helping, try to receive it as a business conversation rather than a personal insult. You might say, “I really appreciate everything you did, let’s talk about what feels like a fair rate.” This builds trust and teaches young adults that their contributions have real worth in the world.

Conclusion

In the end, families thrive on a balance of give and take. While the emergency was stressful, Kayden’s desire for boundaries is a sign that he is growing into a self-respecting adult. Hopefully, his aunts will see his hard work as something worth celebrating with a little “thank you” in his pocket.

Do you think Kayden was being an opportunist, or was he simply standing up for himself? How do you decide when to pay family members for their help? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/2 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 2/2 votes | 100%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/2 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/2 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/2 votes | 0%

Believe Johnson

Believe Johnson

Believe Johnson - a dedicated full-time writer specializing in entertainment and news writing. Her experience in various jobs related to movies and TV show news enhances her understanding of the industry, making her an indispensable team member.

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